How a ‘no’ can be a ‘yes’ in disguise

crossroads, decision making

What are your reactions when you hear a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ from people in various life situations. It is interesting to observe how our bodies vibrate when we receive something that we ‘think’ we want to hear and how our reactions are when we are refused something.

We all seek feeling good potentially and would like to go in the direction of having a positive feedback from others. It makes us feel good. And that is just fine for as long as there is awareness of what our intentions, motivations, desires are in that moment when we ask for a ‘yes’ or we expect a ‘yes’. WE also need to be aware of what our potentially reaction might be should a ‘no’ come in. Can we handle it? Can we see the ‘gold’ in receiving a message we might not have expected. Can we decipher a message from within that ‘no’ and ultimately turn it into a ‘yes’ for ourselves without anyone or anything being attached to that decision.

I had an experience a few days ago when what I thought I wanted wasn’t in my best interest. I didn’t know that until I received a ‘no’ when my unconscious needs definitely wanted a ‘yes’. It is very useful to self-reflect post a situation, interaction or a turn of event and come to some sort of grounding within to ensure we are ok with what occurred and, if possible, to see alternative ways of looking at things, be fluid with our interpretations. I felt I couldn’t make a certain decision. My heart was saying one thing and my head another and I was stuck for some time, which was an uncomfortable position to be in. After weeks of holding the ongoing debate between my head and my heart I decided to ask for guidance from someone else. Another great tool I am discovering about asking for help and trusting others to lend a helping hand. As I was waiting for messages to come in and still trying to work it out for myself I went with my heart on impulse, or what transpired later, an intuitive leep in order to push things and get them moving and see what happens. I received a ‘no’ to my request, which I ‘thought’ I wanted to get a ‘yes’ to. The interesting shift that happened in my feeling body was a very pleasant relief for the first time in weeks when I heard that ‘no’. In that moment my decision was made. It was a ‘yes’ in disguise, a guiding voice of what was needed, not what I thought I wanted. My fear and anxiety subsided and for the first time in week I felt grounded and fully present in my body.

I thought of parallels of how this can present itself in nature. It is fundamentally about a contrast in energies and vibrations. It can’t be sunny all the time, right? Neither we wouldn’t want it to be, well, I wouldn’t. It is that push and pull between need and want. Nature needs sunshine and warmth just as much as it needs rainfall, frost, decay and snow cover. When I experience nature I am in the vibration of both, what we perceive positive and negative, dark and light and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would neither avoid going for a walk if I am called if it rains. That, to me, means that there is something for me to learn from being in the rain in that moment, on that day. It might not be what I want, but it most certainly always what I need, as I often find out after my commune with nature. ‘Yes’ and ‘no’ work in a similar way and it is up to us to be able to receive it with wisdom and acceptance that it is exactly what we need in any given moment.

What I really want to zoom in on with this example is encourage an experiment with what it might be like to hear a ‘no’? Can you hold it objectively without being thrown into a space where it feels like a personal attack or rejection? Hearing a ‘no’ can tell us a lot about our thoughts, scripts and unconscious wounds we might be carrying that need a light thrown on them. We all like a ‘yes’ and there is nothing wrong with that, but a ‘yes’ can also be a trap if we are not careful. It is all in the vibration of how it is given and the felt sense when we receive it. What does it do to us? Does it feel like it lands in the right place or does it carry an unwelcome vibration? Drilling down into how it feels is helpful going from the initial impact to how energy lands, spreads and surrounds our senses and whether it goes away or stays in a way that feels good or bad.

My ‘no’ was a very strong, assertive and clear ‘no’, a ‘no’ I couldn’t argue with and it felt definite and contained. I felt so much better, as I could finally say ‘yes’ to myself after hearing a ‘no’ from outside. I turned inwards for reassurance and it was there, clear and grounded in the knowledge that a ‘no’ meant I could commit to the right path for me for now.

 

50 Affirmations for every day


Find your vibrant centre and create wholeness in your life


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  1. Let go off what you fear of losing
  2. If you make peace with what’s inside, the outside won’t matter as much
  3. Listen to your heart and the mind will soften
  4. You ARE important
  5. Love yourself to HEALTH
  6. There is gold in the intensity of emotions
  7. You WILL grow
  8. Your spirit will lead you back to your truth
  9. Create your own HAVEN bubble and follow YOUR bliss
  10. Give yourself permission to BE
  11. Find answers within
  12. Let your soul fly
  13. Silence is the truth language
  14. Always BE your true authentic self
  15. Magic is real
  16. You can not make others to follow you, you can only show them the way
  17. We are all part of one whole
  18. Soul is a bird, which dies in cages
  19. Celebrate your unique nature
  20. If you believe something is real, then it is
  21. Never stop loving yourself
  22. Seek what is not apparent to grow
  23. Let your true self rise to the surface
  24. Nature is the greatest teacher
  25. Go on an adventure to discover your true self
  26. Stop ‘doing’ and start ‘being’
  27. Be one with nature
  28. Healing starts with awareness
  29. Go vegetarian
  30. Find beauty in the smallest of things
  31. Today is the day you choose to BE
  32. Today you can choose to transform yourself
  33. Breath In… Breath Out
  34. Eat more Raw Foods
  35. Health begins in the GUT
  36. Excuses have no validity
  37. Let your creativity tell your story
  38. Dance the dance of life to the music of your soul
  39. What you give out comes back to you
  40. Ride your storms with passion
  41. Have faith in your divinity
  42. Hold your heart sacred
  43. You ARE nature
  44. Embrace what you feel
  45. Letting go will set you free
  46. Start NOW
  47. Don’t let go off your dreams
  48. Follow your Joy
  49. You get out what you put in
  50. See sacred in the ordinary

Much love & Blessings!

Change-Butterflies
Start your change today