Hidden

Hidden

Unreachable, beyond awareness

Dead to the world

Alive to myself

Linked with the animal and land

And no more

Rejoiced in not found and lost

Until I call for it… if ever

I remain in a way of spirit

Like a ghost to the living

Like a flesh to natural

I am a flower petal as pink as the sky falling beyond the sea

A blade of grass the same colour as ancient hills beyond

I hide in small to become aware of the giant infinity of being

And out there I disappear, as angry feet stamp out all that’s soulful

Away from view yet looking through the brightest biggest window

Hidden away yet fully alive

Hope rises

The promise of spring lies deep within the earth we walk on

With every hour and every day the light grows brighter into being

The silence and nakedness of it all is loud with life stirring deep in the darkness

Like spring life blooms, like winter it dies

yet we know so it should be with hope

In between

If you listen with your ear to the warm belly flowers kick and a song rises from a distant flock of birds bringing new life to the next cycle

And so it goes year after year, life after life, death after death and amidst it all is us part human part nature in a dance of eternity swaying in the wind and washing in the rain in compete surrender to it all

And what a joy it is to be, to wake and rise, to fall and die over and over like a never ending beautiful dance of everything there is. As above so is below, as within so is in nature. The perfect harmony of light and darkness, the perfect end of the beginning

The season evokes hope in me like nothing else. Bitter winds slapping me into here and now, reminding me who I am and where I am. Fresh bite of freezing temperatures penetrates my skin and I feel instantly renewed. The pure white scenery of the land is otherworldly yet it is right here in front of me and I am so grateful to be a part of it all, belonging…

The season inspires me like no other. In its nakedness so much is revealed and a space is created. When the light seemingly goes out on outside and the Moon is on its throne, the fire within me grows stronger. I love the darkness and its protection. I love snow and its tender nurture for the earth’s peaceful sleep. I love all life and regeneration that goes on underneath earthly layers. I love the freedom winter brings to the spirit that enjoys the spaciousness and a blank canvas to be used.

Beautiful architecture of stripped down trees reveals the essence of being, just as it is, with no embellishments or cover ups. It’s beautifully vulnerable yet their strengths lies within its roots. Just like for all of us when we dig deeper we find gold. Deep within the darkness we find connection, we cultivate networks and comradeship to our spirit and all that’s around us. Either a tree form or a human form we are the same in life, made of the same material and that is comforting to know.

Yule is near and the first promise of light carries hope that all will bloom again. My heart grows with excitement and content knowing the wheel is about to turn once more.

Many seasonal blessings!

Announcement – Nature Spirit Walks Tarot

I am happy to announce the release of the latest project in collaboration with Cortney Cameron, whose wonderful idea and beautifully designed images materialised in this invaluable resource. It has been my absolute pleasure contributing to this project. Enjoy!

ORDER HERE

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Another year, another joyful experience

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One of the most magical sights of the whole year – bluebell woods, a time when deep blue, purplish coloured flowers cover the ground of ancient woods and it is magnificent. Not only it is delightful to the eye it is reviving to all senses, as bluebell fragrance is fresh and beautiful.

The forest is very pleased with itself wearing the spirit colours of green and purple. I wish I could bottle a sense of freshness and a delicate scent that spreads in the air and on the jewelled forest floor. Birds delight in spring so much so it makes me want to open my wings up and fly towards the tops of virgin foliage. Spring fills me with such joy I can’t stop smiling and breathing in the air. If I was not to be here tomorrow this is the scene I will take with me in my memories and dreams. I am grateful for having witnessed a spring bluebell forest once again, for another year…

Walking into spring

Imbolc, meditation walk in nature

I went outside and was met with a cold wind on my skin and a bright sun reflected in my hair. I squinted towards the light and took in the wind’s cold embrace into my face with pleasure. I exhaled all I no longer wished to carry.

When I walk in nature I always find I begin to breathe properly, deeply, slower, more aware of each inner and outer breath. I stop, close my eyes and feel into my body, as nature surrounds me. Birds’ wild swooping above my head and a distant calling of their comrade wakes me up into my walk again. I begin slowly and steadily on my path, through some farm fields and into a wooded area. I become aware of a chant, as I carefully watch my steps and feel pressure against the earth with delight and embodied knowing. The chant becomes louder mud, sticks, stones and trees; mud, sticks, stones and trees. As I repeat the words I am completely and fully aware of where I am, who I am, what I am doing and my breath has never been more profoundly present. I close my eyes again and stand still for a minute continuing reciting the words again and again and with each in-breath I feel full of life. I also become aware of my body in a way that it carries me every day. I am grateful for my legs and feet that allow me to be in nature whenever I feel like it. A grounded walk is all I ever need to come back to myself.

It’s just passed Imbolc and the air is filled with hope and anticipation. Everything around us is waking up, yet everything is still, about to move, about to sprout, but not just yet. It is pure joy and excitement. I love early spring and begin to crave some warmth and softness of soil in my hands, as I begin to plant seeds in my garden. Every year with the arrival of copper topped trees that unveil in the landscape I see Brigit with her red hair. She is singing and calling in the birds for a dance. Young, free and beautiful she plays amidst trees in pure knowledge of her own divine force and power to bring creativity into our new spring and support us as this new cycle begins. Soon everything will explode in ecstasy of spring and with a fragrant fresh air we are reminded there will be light, warmth, harvest and bounty to be had in months to come. She stands in the middle of the woodland grove in white and green clothing cupping a white candle. She sings and bows to trees, then sits down to play a tune on her flute and writes a poem with a goose feather wand. I observe in reverence and silence and my own heart is filled with immense gratitude, peace and authentic energy of myself being here and now, in this moment and that is all there is and it is utterly beautiful. A blessing, indeed!

Memories in the snow

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I woke up from a dream of being back in my Siberian land. Dreams that take me there are always set in winter. Most of my childhood and youth’s significant events happened in winter and amidst snow and remain the most memorable to this day. Sledging with friends in freezing temperatures when we couldn’t feel our faces, hands and feet, yet incredibly happy and full of joys of childhood. My first kiss, awkward, yet warm and sweet. The day I let him go also took place in the middle of winter with me crying in the bright light of street lamps and snow sparkling all around us. I remember my blue mascara running down my cheek as if it was yesterday and the smell of his winter coat as he pulled me close to his chest. I remember his heart beat as we said good-bye.

I recall ice-skating with my father and falling into the deep snow, up to my waist, in the wilderness forest. We laughed a lot. Another kiss takes me back to a sacred place where memories stand still and not just my own, but for the whole nation. Wearing white hat and mittens in a cream coloured coat I was deeply in love.

As I walked to the window this morning I was greeted with a snow-covered garden and land beyond. Beautiful. It continued to snow all morning and I decided to go into the forest for some nature and elements communion. I always feel it is such a raw, spiritual and necessary experience to immerse yourself in the elements be it rain, snow, sunshine or wind. Each element awakens something within, touches upon places that need to be visited to remind us of what is essential and where we are in life. Crunchy under my feet I found snow and pure white landscape stretching ahead taking me further into my memories and on a journey of seeing and feeling things I hold dear to my heart. Memories flooded in like a bitter-sweet river and looking around me I smiled also feeling a smidge of sadness in my heart. He is long gone, but what he left is a place within me that is unconditional love and to this day I carry it inside and always will. Forest was noisy with splats and swooshing sounds of snow falling off branches. Many trees were bent down under the snow weight touching the ground. I stopped and breathed it all in. I miss him still and I remember everything like it was yesterday. Sadness filled my heart, but it is no longer grief or longing, it is settled and contained, warm and alive. It is love, forever.

It is all about perception…

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We are all familiar with an expression ‘jumping through hoops’. What it often implies is a kind of struggle, difficulty and doing something one is not keen on necessarily. Someone mentioned it in conversation to me recently describing a situation where it looks like there was no enjoyment in actions and tasks, i.e. there was a feeling in that person that the other was having to ‘jump through hoops’. It can be so, however, it got me thinking in terms of how many times certain expressions we are used to imply generalisation for us all. I am not a fan of generalisation due to awareness of just how individually different and unique we all are. Many find generalisations helpful. It makes them feel like they fit in, they feel understood and safe somehow. It offers a quick explanation to what they are going through and their agreeing to the statement in that moment is almost automatic.

I began to think deeper about the concept of ‘jumping through hoops’ and what its vibration offers to us. Does it always have to be difficult and tinted with negativity or something unpleasant? Sure, the hoop can be visualized as an obstacle, covered in raging fire and something very hard to overcome, which requires us pushing ourselves to limits to get to the other side. Is there another vibration in that ‘jumping through fire’? It depends how one looks at it, how one perceives the situation they are in.

As I walked in the woods this morning what came into my awareness was an arch, or a beautiful ring through which one can walk, but it wasn’t covered in angry fire, but blooming roses.

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My consciousness immediately took me back to the conversation I refer to above earlier this week and within my body I felt an opening around my heart. I smiled. The vision of the rose-covered arch became magnified and I could smell the scent of the blooms and feel their tender foliage. It was full of life and hope. For flowers to bloom in its most beautiful manifestation they need nurturing and careful attention, they need love and watchful care. It is not an easy task to keep something alive and thriving. Flowers on the arch are manifestation of spirit in nature. They are filled with sparkling aliveness and sweet scent, which affects our senses. Have you ever tried to merge with a flower? Shapeshift? It is one of the most satisfying and delicious experiences and one of the easiest, as flowers are inviting to the soul in their beauty.

I then imagines what if we switch the idea of ‘jumping through hoops’, which feels heavy and a struggle to walking through rose-covered arches instead. By switching our perception of what we are doing, we align with a different vibration all together. It is still not easy, as to truly walk through the arch of blooming roses we must ensure those roses are in bloom and flourishing, otherwise it wouldn’t walk, but in that vibration we do not forget our efforts and we celebrate our achievements and from one arch to the other we carry the gift of hope and love for ourselves and goals we set out to achieve. We work hard in-between the arches and there are often many to walk through, but it becomes a pleasure rather than a chore, something we need to do to get to the end. It becomes a journey, which then makes the destination ever so more fulfilling and joyful.

This year for me consists of an end goal, which is in sight, however, to reach the destination there are many obstacles to overcome. There is a step-by-step plan, which I have in mind and working through, but instead of making it feel like I am jumping through hoops I choose to walk through rose gardens full of arches alive with love and hope. I choose to enjoy every single step however difficult. I choose to remain at one arch at a time and not rush the journey of achieving sweet results awaiting at the end.

It is all about perception of a task or an event and it always helps to look deeper within allowing for signs and answers to come through. It is all about what we choose to align with and listen to whether it is generalised or highly individual. Nature facilitates that process for me always and there is nothing that I trust more than Nature, which activates my inner voice the most and connects it to the beating heart of what matters in that moment, that day, that week.

Much love

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