Writing reawakened

Writing gives me this rich, luxurious, extremely pleasant feeling that buzzes through my arms and into my fingers (just like magic does when I am in that dimensional self) and then the feeling settles right in my heart and in my throat and everywhere in between those areas. For those of you who are familiar with chakras you know what I mean about the heart and the throat areas. I think it is a simply perfect alignment and manifestation of the whole thing what is writing for me. Encapsulates its meaning wonderfully.

I can not tell you just how incredibly grateful I feel to have tapped into this dimensional self that had always been there but asleep for sometime now and this summer it’s reawakened. It happened amidst difficult silence that came into my day-to-day when suddenly clients disappeared, things got easier around me and I was staring into an empty space uncomfortably and then boom, it washed over me like a familiar scent. I never grounded it before, I realise now, and just kept it in my awareness but not engaging in any way other than observatory. This time it feels different as the feeling is very present and every day it is reaffirmed and amplified like a beacon of light that is shining from within. Truly wonderful experience.

This coming September I am planning on releasing a book of poems and I am excited to speak the words of my heart into the world. This is what my soul wants and I know it well and the last few months it has all been about what my soul wants. It is going to be my precious gift to my soul, to my craft, everything and everyone I love and the universe that I have experienced differently lately. The main heroine of the whole undertaking is, of course, Scotland.

What a roller coaster but at the same time it feels such a grounded something that suddenly slotted into place. Divine timing they call it and I am so on board with that.

I look forward to more writing magic that is here to stay.

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Who would I be?

What would it feel like if I had you? Who would I be amidst your wild beauty?

A beast brave and strong

A delicate flower smelling like heaven

Or myself, just as I was born into the skin of this earth

How would we be together?

Standing close face to face or look upon each other from a distance seeing the brightest stars reflected in one another

In winter’s harshness would I revel in your majesty as much as in the greenness of your summers

Will I pray for the blessing that is you, that is the mighty spirit, the mother and father of my soul that had craved your embrace for all eternity?

Whatever way we might be together it will be glory and authentic knowing that the heart within my chest beats the same beat as your humming earthly core

In a storm

The storm rages like I rage

Eternal conflict between love and freedom

The land encapsulates both

And whenever I see destruction of nature both freedom and love die within me and

I rage like the wildest sea that despite all life’s chains can not be locked away or tamed

That is the essence of my being

I rage like the blazing sun of mid summer when rain is in hiding and the burning is in the heart that can’t be pacified

My Firy love lies in remote corners of the land where the wild heart of its core merges with mine

Whoever steps in it must be beaten with the power of wilderness, must be tested to a point of no limits

My heart bleeds for the land where wolves roam no longer yet their spirits are alive with roar against the tiny hand of humanity

Destroying land is destroying freedom like a dagger through its own mother’s heart whose love prevails no matter what

The wind, water, fire and cracking earth core are voices, fierce in their screams

Freedom and love – only in land I find they don’t conflict within me

Only here I am simultaneously consumed and released

It is the place where death lies next to me gently

You

Are you the wind that whispers in my ear or a stream beneath my feet with its bubbling tones

Are you a bird, a tree, a flower that I encounter or are you silence amidst the night air

I feel you in all corners of existence

Be it noise or quiet, dark or light

You are in all the tapestry of life that I perceive daily

You are moments of my holding breath and standing still when my heart wants to fly away to all the places that you are

You are my life’s anchor like the oldest wisdom there is that tells me to stay, to act, to dream and be

You are my life as much as anything I know that I am. Made up parts of one whole, a million of others merged together yet I can pick you apart from any other

You feel most of all like home, a soft fleshy part of my soul a colour of the purest blue and green and purple

I take you in with each breath as if the sweetest taste I have ever experienced

I am grateful to you for touching the earth and imprinting my heart with you and only you that for the rest of my days I will always know what it feels like to love, to grieve, to grow and surrender…

Spring forest bathing

My heart is overflowing with gratitude for the spring air filling my lungs and the sun caressing my face as gentle as a feather.

The birdsong is wondrous and exquisite in its multi-tonal spiral of a whistle.

I melt into the earth’s awakening feeling and see the mother welcoming me into her embrace.

Trees are smiling with warmth inside their trunks and wave branches about in ecstatic spring dance.

Spring, oh so gentle and soft in colours yellow, white and purple. Delightful energy of calmness and tranquility.

I love how everything stops when I lie on the ground looking up to the sky through delighted tree tops and birdsong accompanies me into deep relaxation.

 

Searching for…

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Searching for what I know not

The invisible, senseless, shapeless something

Grabbing on to nothingness of what’s there

Where? Here? Not now, not yet, not ever…

What do we search for? Meaning, fulfilment, purpose, love, joy, happiness? Moving towards having our needs met, things, adventures and people that make our lives full and our hearts singing, feeling useful and present in life, noticed, heard and seen. What do we want? We want to live and not fade into nothingness, that scary uncertain place no one wants to talk about, but let’s. It is not nothingness or empty when a life lived fully can be felt in our blood and expressed even in our last breath. Dying well, dying knowing and conscious holding on to love and vision to the last moment. Preparing to travel to places unseen and unknown.

Searching is a natural element of life, like a flowing river always on the run not knowing where it will end or will settle, but it does, I am sure it does and perhaps, then the flow begins again? Like trees stripped of their foliage every year come back to blooming again at some point. Trust, faith in growth and movement of life protects and comforts and it is jumping on board of the train seemingly running away into nothingness or river flowing into place unknown, it is that jumping into life that will carry us through and will lead us to whatever we are searching for. It is a journey of searching, questioning, which contains periods of peace and settled feeling, contentment, slowing down, picking up pace again. It is in the mixture and variety, colour and moments of dull despair and the darkest night there is life itself, which is the meaning of it all. Life is the meaning of life.

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

—Mary Oliver

It is Summer… musings on the weather, the land and Earth’s abundance

Litha, Earth poetry, Summer Solstice

It is summer, post Litha, Summer Solstice a surge of continuous energy is very welcomed. I feel on an equal flow with the universal intentions and designs and find throwing myself into all things home, family, finances, creating and inventing new ways of improving our lives.

The Goddess is pregnant at this time and our garden plot is filled with fresh produce. Emerald green newly born cucumbers, fragrant herbs and greens, full-bellied cabbages ready to ‘burst’ and be eaten. It is such a blessing to feel this abundance in the season and in the heart.

It has been very hot, which is often a struggle for me. I have always said that there is no such thing as a bad weather. Well, the heat is possibly the only time you will hear me complaining a bit. When many seek to escape to hot countries for their holidays I am off to the north of Scotland. Isle of Skye is promising pure magical immersion and enchanting experiences. I can hardly wait. I am definitely more of a cool, shady creature, who enjoys early mornings and late evenings, Moon light and the second part of the year. I do love the abundance of the summer months and our fresh, delicious organic produce the Earth gifts us with, but I do love the autumn and winter when one goes within for hibernation and deep work in the shadows.

Here’s a poem I wrote recently, which again expresses my love for nature and feeling that ‘belonging’, that ‘feeling at home’ experience when walking the path of the witch, old ways, nature-bound deliciousness and alignment.

I cannot wait to be as one with the Land of my soul next week and breathe easy and in tune with all things wild, magical and free.

Oh how soul craves the Earth, the bare, moist and deep

The calling drenched in sweetest voice directs oneself to thee 
You are the stars, the Moon, the Sun, the flowers on forest floor 
You are the fallen leaves that fly surrendering to her 
The Earth’s warmth and calm embrace gives power to soul 
To rest, to be, to sing and dance In circle of the coil 
One whole, one complete within…