Answering the ‘call’

 

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Isle of Mull, Scotland 2017

I heard the call back in 2013 when stepping upon the earth of the soul land my heart exploded. I was tossed and turned inside out with internal screaming bursting into tears of joy and confusion. I was stuck by sheer magic and meaning of what it was like to belong to a place I never knew existed.

It took me a few years to work out what happened back then when I first visited Scotland and every year since then I couldn’t bare be parted from it. It hasn’t been easy going back and stepping into the land that knew my soul so well again and again and having to leave it behind every time with a feeling of deep grief within.

I am still in that place of neither here nor there, desperately wanting to go and needing to stay, having to live the life I have here, which is glorious in many ways. I am content yet yearning never leaves me for the place that stole my utter being and grabbed hold of me so tightly.

With each passing year the pull of the land hasn’t stopped, in fact, it has intensified with each summer when I would make the same journey and every winter when my heart would pine for it. I fought against it and even tried to convince myself it wasn’t real or happening just to test yet the answer was always the same. It is in my bones so deep I can’t be separated from it physically or spiritually.

I lived there before a long time ago and died a gruesome death with my blood spilling directly on the earth and penetrating its cells. I was of the land like a native animal that recognised smells, sounds and colours of every season the land had dressed itself in. I am still of that land, I am still that animal. I can taste it and its distinctive smell never leaves my senses. It is a particular sensation instantly recognisable by me. I can reach it at any moment yet physical separation remains too much to bear.

I live with my heart open and always listen carefully and intentionally to what the next step might be…

 

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Discovering your purpose in Nature, communicating with trees and the Elements

planes of consciousness

I am feeling dizzy and sensing being called into the woods. I am also drawn to reading some spiritual text, particularly on planes of consciousness. I just read the latest blog from Teal Swan and I cried. You can read it HERE. It touched me, as her writing is very similar to mine, I find, and the way she describes her experiences in different places resonate with how I experience places. Here are my blog posts on places I visited and spiritual experiences. (Isle of Skye and Snowdonia, Wales). Teal has such a ‘flow’ throughout, the flow that I am attracted to strongly. So, I am going to the woods, to commune with the trees and join in embrace. I feel dizzy, ‘spaced out’ feeling and what I feel is there is a reason and purpose to the feeling, it is not just feeling dizzy. Something is trying to put me to sleep almost it feels, there is veil just above my brow, which is hanging a bit too heavy.

Message from the woods

I left the house with a clear quartz in one pocket and my phone in another to be used as a camera, as I never know what I may encounter on my narrative walks. I call them ‘narratives’, as there is always a story, a message, a purpose that comes to me when I am out in my woods and often I write afterwards. Today is such a day.

I still feel dizzy and as I approach the woods I inhale deeply and oh, it is so good to be out. This morning I pulled a card, which said – go outside… Here I am walking towards my usual entrance point, but what I find is a blockage, you can see on the picture.

blocked entrance

I am immediately diverted from entering the woods my usual way and I continue forward. The next entrance I encounter is a clear opening into something I am about to find out. It is a gateway.

I turn right instinctively and from that point decide consciously I am going to walk wherever the sense takes me. I walk through the thick greenness of the woods, it is peaceful and so fresh here. I come to a clearing, which looks unusual and I know this is where that something is, yet I am not ready, I continue walking intuitively and see my guardian tree at a distance. I thought about ‘him’ recently when finding myself struggling with lack of ‘male’ energy within, lack of Fire. I remember turning right a minute ago and it makes sense again, as not only the right side represents expressive nature of the male, but I was also meant to see ‘him’. That tree is a representative of a male parent to me, it is old and wise, holding and understanding. One glimpse of ‘him’ and I know what he is saying. He affirms my energy available to me whenever I need to tap into it. I bow with thanks and turn back into the woods. Read More