I cling to the idea of knowing yet not seeing the path
Uncertainty can stifle the flow of day, night, creative flow
The answer is in the unclinging, allowing and free flow
Being in life as if it doesn’t belong to you or exists
The mind speaks one language yet you cling to knowing another
The heart knows always and the battle continues
The soul is indifferent to clinging, knowing or not knowing,
it is not familiar with your attachments
Uncling, unattach from a thought of knowing
It is in the process of living where we find we know it all and at the same time nothing at all
~ Raw Nature Spirit
Here are some pictures from my trip to Perthshire, Scottish Highlands this past October just before Samhain. This was a long anticipated trip, not because it haven’t been before, I have, but because I made it there on my own after talking and planning for years. I finally did it and something in me changed forever now, solidified in knowing this is it. This is the place I first came years ago and where my love affair and deep spiritual connection with the land began. The trip that I took was a journey down memory lane and my love is just as strong, if not stronger. It was an absolutely perfect end to a wonderful year where all the through I have been committed to doing things differently and have succeeded. Enjoy Scotland pics in Autumn.
With Samhain and my birthday now past my new year has officially began. As always it has not been an easy transition in the weeks coming up to this week, to my ‘birth’ and ‘re-birth’ but now things yet again and getting calm and settled and I very much look forward to things to come in my new form, now that I am here again.
On Samhain night I had the ‘big dream’. One of those dreams that come rarely and you know its effects as not only it feels big, it manifests in life big. The overall sense is of arrival, achievement and transformation at its heart.
Ahead there is winter, which I love. It’s the time of year when I come alive, my energy sores to high levels and my creativity explodes. I very much enjoy the chill and crispiness in the air and should we have snow, a lot of snow that would just be a complete blessing. Every winter I pray and wish for snow.
Today my mind turns to goals and dreams for next year. The signature for 2019 is yet to be revealed and that’s what I would normally follow from a collective, spiritual growth and evolution points of view. 2018 has been absolutely wonderful, so new, so fresh and transformative. Full of peace, love, understanding, learning and coming to a place of beautiful simplicity in all aspects. It has been about clearing, moving away from noise and zooming in even more on a few things that matter, feeding my soul and looking after my family.
All the way through the year I have been full of gratitude, relationships that truly matter and releasing the last remaining things unwanted and not needed. Simplifying, clarifying, decluttering and creative space for love, warmth and purity to come in. We have paid all our debts and have enjoyed the process of discovering and re-learning new financial ways and realising how little we all need to be content. I have loved the process so much and have felt lighter, brighter and very fulfilled. I feel I have perfectly aligned with the signature of 2018, which was clear.
Signatures normally come into my awareness towards Yule or just after and I will be talking about that just as soon as I know. For now we are in the period of things behind us and things ahead of us, like dusk or dawn, beautiful spaces in-between filled with potential.
As Samhain is approaching I am afraid less and less. The gap between Air and Earth elements within me lessens. I have been thinking too much lately, unable to land and stand still, but I have learnt over the years that sometimes this is necessary to do if anything for the sake of noticing what tends to happen within and at what times. I needed to hold all possible thoughts in my mind to be able to work things out and yes, it can become tiring and overwhelming, but with applying awareness it is possible to slow the process down. What helps the most in these instances for me when I know some part of this process is necessary, but I can also feel myself being swept away with it, is walking. Walking slowly and mindfully, connecting with the natural world in a physical sense, e.g. touching tree branches and feeling the earth underneath the feet, picking up leaves and pressing them against my face. This time of year always creates a build-up of various energies and can feel ‘too much’. We can become vulnerable and even lost, but throughout it all every time I feel that strong support that only the Goddess can provide. I am familiar with the part of myself that is deeply knowing, trusting and calm. It is the time for re-birth and transformation, quite big metamorphosis. I have been dreaming of a surge in my masculine energy, as well as parts being ‘killed’ off, but the most important vision this year is the one with Baba Yaga holding a huge egg of potential in her hands. She is guarding and protecting it for me while also smirking and laughing wickedly into the cold air of approaching winter and tells me to trust, to rest and be open. She tells me ‘no’ only in a way she can and I understand it well. What she means is to be patient and drop demands for answers, as they won’t come when in a restricted state. It needs to relax to receive. She also reassures as always that we all know what we need. All that is needed is for us to stop trying to get in a way of things flowing naturally.
I feel very exposed at the moment yet allowing and not afraid. Baba Yaga always shows me how inner wisdom can be extracted with some sitting quiet time, perseverance and looking for knowledge within ourselves. She holds all the wisdom of the world yet she would never give it away freely, instead she waits for the one to discover it within themselves. She is not withholding, she is protective and encouraging in a way that makes you want to achieve, know more and pursue whatever feels right at the time.
I feel stronger this year, more in line with the energies of the earth than ever before and allowance of things to flow through is truly the key to a peaceful way of being even in times of challenge.
Blessed Samhain, everyone, and let the next year be prosperous, insightful and fulfilling on all levels.
When it is no longer a dream, which had haunted you again again for many months, years, you can breathe with new vigour and steady rhythm. It feels unreal yet it is a reality standing in front of you in its raw state and the most stunning presentation that the soul no longer wants to fly with desperation towards it, but rests quietly in its soothing embrace.
Standing on the shore of Loch Tay earlier today I felt as one with the land in a fully physical sense yet it hardly seemed real I was there. I was there, however, I am here now and there is nowhere else I want to be more. I am here and my heart is full with contented calmness and a true familiar feeling of belonging. What this connection is about no longer matters, the searching is over. It is just here, in this place and time where the land and I are one. I feel such deep genuine love for this place that I could never imagine possible to feel for anything other than another human being. The land is a being, breathing and living and of that I have been convinced of for many years now. It breathes, speaks, feels, expresses and touches me in ways I know this as love. My breath is becoming more and more even as I inhale the land’s essence and as inside feels of the same material as outside my heart is no longer in despair of separation, it is at peace of knowing the love I feel, all consuming, forever…
Magical energy is subtle in this place like a lyrical romantic Celtic tune that penetrates you with its singing and invites you in its dance of harmony and rest. Gentle, something you have to learn to listen to in places and join in when invited to.
I dreamt of white animals last night after arriving hereand as a white swan (swans has been a real symbolic thing this year for me) swam in front of me in that lake of sheer beauty next it appeared right next me stretching its long neck in a sort of recognition and curiosity I felt humbled once more. The gratitude I feel in the last two days is beyond description. I realise that as I continue to love deeply I must also be loved by many, who is making this possible for me to be here. So many hours I have spent looking at pictures of this place over and over again dreaming of the time of our meeting, never thinking it close enough or possible enough to reach and I finally made it here myself. I am happy and here I am as real as it gets. Separation often is only in the mind and bridging the gap feels impossible when so many voices tell you it is not possible, it is too far, too tiring, too something… Who is really to say something is impossible? No one and nothing can ever stop you from doing something that your heart truly desires and if that something is all that occupies your energy then go for it. When you love something or someone, as I love this land, you have got to go after it. This is no longer a dream, it is constantly alive in my mind, heart and soul and when it calls I will come and be with it, as to me it is clear that this is essential as the air I breathe.