Authenticity attainment – an open exploration


This one goes deep. It is a sort of exercise that I wish to offer that might help unfold layers within you and align you with the sweetest authenticity. Questioning yourself, exploring every corner of your being conscious and unconscious is a necessary process towards whole authenticity. My goal more and more these days is to reach that place where I can do, feel, behave and think in the most authentic way possible and not just that but to reach that point where I am flowing with authenticity effortlessly and masterfully.

When doing this process we all have to get real with ourselves with others and with everything that goes on around us. It is hard work, but is it worth it? I hope so. I have experienced more and more over the past few years the transformational results of the state of getting real. Some of the questions that I found useful to ask in that process are:

  • What is it that I want
  • What is it that I feel
  • What is sacred to me
  • How much do I allow myself to feel and have what I want
  • How am I with my external relationships as well as my inner world
  • What is real and what is not
  • What do I think about life
  • What do I think about death
  • Do I have a direction, do I need a direction
  • Is my preference for a natural flow or a structure of some kind

And the list goes on and goes and with each level it goes deeper into questioning. Is there another way to be if your soul is thirsty for manifesting its truest desires? You owe it to your soul to listen to its voice. You owe it to yourself to live the authentic life and flow naturally with whatever is presented in front of you. Do you flow? Do you aim for pure authenticity? Read More


My awareness nature walks

Awareness nature walks bring answers to those, who seek…

Amethyst deceiver

I am used to going to nature for answers be it talking with trees, commune with the wind or listening to the stream of water. I do magic in nature, meditate upon tree roots and listen, always listen, observe, feel and conscious of everything around me. I call these walks sometimes – walking narratives.

There is always a story that unfolds from start to finish and there is always an answer, a message, a call to do something, always something that comes out of my awareness walking. These usually happen when I am called, i.e. I would feel the call from the woods, a very definite pull, an invitation to come, similar to when you might get a ringing in the ear and often people would refer to that your spirit guides inviting you to join them. Other times I join the woods when I am frustrated, lost, down, confused and need some guidance or specific answers to specific questions. Read More

Death is all around – energies of Samhain

It has been quite turbulent and dark times in the last few weeks and I am still very much under the ‘influence’ of this period of time between a build up to Samhain and post- Samhain experience of this reality. Things are foggy, the body is heavy and achy, and there is a feeling of something not quite right. One might say a feeling of doom and gloom, but not in a dramatic way of ‘this is it’, but in a way of being not here or there, not knowing what is coming, unpleasant, uncomfortable.

The energy of ‘death’ is still around as the garden gets filled with more and more fallen leaves. The weather is turning and with the rotting of the leaves the process of churning and ‘decomposing’ begins to seep into the Earth. With that my body twists and turns with pain and discomfort, hot and cold, foggy mind as if it’s been veiled to obscure the light. It is unpleasant, scary and deeply sad. This is the energy of loss, grief and death for all that once existed. I feel it deep in my muscles and bones. I begin to crave summer intensely today which talks of my resistance to descent into the dark corners of my psyche, to places where deep sorrow resides. It is a journey of the season, of the wheel of life and it deserves full respect and attention, as no matter what one can’t run away from the natural flow of life. We enter the underworld where lights go on and we go deeper into the awareness of death. Read More

2015 UK Travel Diary

October 2015 – The Peak District, UK

July 2015 – Isle of Skye, Scotland

June 2015 – Summer Solstice, Stonehenge, UK

April 2015 – North Wales, Snowdonia

Romancing with a Tree

Conscious awareness of nature, tree talk and emotional balance


tree talk

I go on walks often, sometimes I am called if there is a message for me to receive or a scar to attend to. Other times I feel my heart bursting with such gratitude I am in need of a walk in order to honour nature for all the gifts it bestows on my life and my spirit. Honouring nature in however small ways every day is how my spirit keeps its spark.
As I drove in my car this morning I was feeling an expansion of senses, a renewed energy that has come in during the night, and a slight happy tingling in the body. I knew then I ought to immerse myself in the spirit of my dear woods. Just then a crow flew very close to my windscreen as if to say ‘come, come, you are welcome’. I smiled to myself and said, ‘I am on my…

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The Empath in the city

The Empath in the city – expanding your boundaries and healing manifesting in the world
I went to the city today and my experience was not only reaffirming about my already present inner healing, but also expansive regarding further healing and development of my skills as an empath.
One very obvious observation that jumped out at me was around boundaries and just how much better and stronger I have become with it over the last few years. At first I used the ‘shielding’ technique, crystals, essential oils, prayer, mantra, etc. and all of those tools have been very useful, which I recommend to all empaths, who are just beginning to look into their own healing.
The aim, you see, is to heal from within in order to turn your sensitivities and empathic abilities into super powers that will serve you and others in the best way possible.
Well, today reaffirmed yet again for me that boundaries are stronger and more vibrant and none of the above tools are needed in order to be in a certain situation or an environment.
What stood out for me today was the fact that sometimes it’s worth pushing through residual resistance and ‘not even going to go there’ intention. Instead turning that pre-determined thinking into ‘how about it? why not give it a try?’. This would, of course, depend on the need to go to a certain place, a situation, your mood, etc. and all of those must be observed individually to get clear information.
There was huge resistance  to not just going into London for me today, but also to a place that I was going to visit in the city. That resistance is always there within me before visiting a big city. What was different this morning was the awareness and curiosity about questions around which part of my journey I was resistant to exactly. Very useful exercise that removes generalizing about crowded, noisy and foggy places energy wise and pin points things that you might be more sensitive to than others. For example, you might not be as bad with noise and crowds if you are going somewhere you look forward to going, the same goes for, perhaps, you are meeting someone you haven’t seen for a long time, you triggers might not be as strong. Yes, you might not totally enjoy the environment, but it might not be as extreme as you would generally think things might be in a big city. There’s also a confusion sometimes whether it’s the city, the actual place I am going to, means of transport or the weather, whatever it might. Worth checking in with what the resistance is related to exactly.

This morning circumstances seemed to be in sync with my overall and multilayered resistance, yet, and I must say to my surprise, not only I had time to fill up my car with petrol on the way, go through a stretch of a busy motorway, get the train with no delay I actually arrived early to my appointment. It really was a moment of me standing still outside the building taking it all in and thinking, right, this feels good, the energy is light, the place looks lovely and I am here on time – what happened to that morning rush and the feeling of ‘ ahhhhh, I just want to go home and shut the door on the world’.

Attachment to a certain outcome (me thinking I wasn’t going to make it anyway and I hate going to the city) automatically cancels out all other possibilities and it is ‘fear and anxiety driven’ not ‘love towards yourself’ driven. It is like one has to be prepared to lose going into a competition otherwise experience is not fully explored within you, felt fully and authentically and accepting that whatever is meant to manifest will manifest, but we move towards allowing for possibilities to come in, a possibility to feel different, choosing to feel differently about something you might not want to give an option to. There is a pattern in my process to this and it really stood out this morning how I would want to shut down certain events, experiences, as it feels I simply can’t bear it, but when I turn that around and open my heart wider I always see the benefit. Big lessons, ha.

I also noticed that yes, there’s always something that can potentially spoil the experience, like e.g. men swearing loudly at the station, which was quite overwhelming, but instead of dismissing the whole of the experience before and after the ‘spoiler’ why not see it as a contrast to that peaceful vibe you enjoyed earlier. We notice, we accept it exists and we do not get angry, dismissive or as an empath would do – run away from it instantly. Gratitude stems from inner peace and vice versa. Was I grateful for catching the train on time or finding the place with no problem – yes I was. But what I was also grateful for is a realisation that an experience doesn’t have to be bad just because there is a degree of resistance within you. There’s no need to label things in a certain way just because they don’t naturally vibe. Allowing for all experiences to come in, welcoming new vibrations is a better way of allowing balance, perhaps…

Balance came to mind strongly and just like the elements where the earth might need water to feed some moisture and life into her and water might need earth be feel
contained, fire needing water to avoid the rage of out of control destruction and air needing earth for grounding and manifesting, perhaps, us, empathic people need to allow for more balance, to step into experiences that once seemed frightening, but no longer restricting our shining. It is a process and a journey of healing that might facilitate the shift and expansion and one can do this once they feel ready. We need a balance, a spectrum of experiences and emotions that go through us just to let us know what we are and how we operate, a reminder, and sometimes something we fear carries lessons and is not as bad as one might first imagine. It might serve as a tester, a reminder of just what our triggers are and are triggers remain the same or they shift or reduce in number over time with healing taking place.

It was drizzling with rain in London, as if keeping emotions light and in check like a protective veil over the Universe. I like rain and I think it added something to the feeling of safe cosiness – another big felt sense experience.
I met the eyes of a few people today and it did surprise me. What did I not see before that made me feel quite warm inside? We are one whole, one nature of experiencing feelings, witnessing and performing actions and thinking thoughts. I experienced inter-connectedness all around me and rather than feeling ‘lost, unbalanced in the crowd’, I felt as one with the crowd and it is a totally different vibration I am used to, which is also awesome. Joining in with the crowd and not running into secluded space straight away is certainly an interesting experience for an empath and once you are ready I recommend trying it out, just see how you feel and what insights you get into the idea of expanding your energy out into the world with the purpose of connecting.

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The Universal Flow

self-soothing tools

Do you ever feel like the universe is against you? Well, it is not that she is against you it is that you are not in alignment with her offerings. She is neither good nor bad, she is always available whether you are going through a good period or experience challenges. She does not judge or abandon. It is being able to tap into all the resources that are available that will get you through or support you in the best way that is possible.

But, I don’t believe in this stuff… you say… I get it, this concept, like many others are difficult to comprehend at first and you know why? Most of the time what we do is we go straight into our heads and minds and try to apply reason, logic, thinking and that is the problem. The universe can’t be ‘thought through’ it must be ‘felt through’.  The universe can’t be understood through thinking, one must engage feeling. Those, who follow the calling of the universe, or align with her flow, have at some point in their lives felt that message. Through feeling something no evidence is needed, because one can’t deny how one feels, it is just there, it happens, you feel it, you know it. One can’t deny that knowing that something is being felt at a given moment. If you are someone, who had not yet experienced that feeling of knowing, the first step would be start developing your intuition and following your own inner voice. Become aware of everything you say, do, the way you behave and observe your surroundings and every time pay attention to how you feel. Your intuition is your best navigational system.

At the moment, I am not aligning with the universe. I am not. My head is full of thoughts, worries and anxieties and that makes me disconnect from my body, my feelings. What I find myself in is a state of stress. This is not good yet once you get into that cycle of doing and doing and not feeling enough, it becomes easy to fall into a space of not trusting the universe. We might even feel abandoned and forgotten and then questions like ‘why me’ start coming in. STOP!

What is needed is self-care, we need to stop, cancel all that we planned, stay still and put and use every minute we are on our own to nourish ourselves emotionally and physically. Our spirit, as well as our body need attention and soothing vibes to bring it all back into balance.

Techniques for self-care:

  • Rest
  • Sitting in silence
  • Meditation
  • Soothing music
  • Wholesome nourishing whole foods
  • Sleep
  • Water
  • Walking in nature
  • Just staying still
  • Use your favourite essential oils and crystals (very soothing)
  • Draw
  • Walk barefoot

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, so feel free to add your own favourite ways of de-stressing and aligning with that flow once again. Practice this regularly.

Image: White Magic Alchemy – a beautiful place of the divine