The forest on my doorstep

Pine fragrance invigorates all my senses allowing me to breathe the fresh essence of the forest. It is the most pleasant sensation, which spreads through my whole body simultaneously grounding me in and letting me fly.

When I found this place, I knew little about where it was and what it looked like. On arrival the overwhelm of it all took over leading me to a breakdown. That’s the power of the elements in the wilderness and its effect on me. I am no longer surprised by it, as it happens every year, but I do continue to marvel at its power. There is forest on one side within a few meters from where I stand and the mountains on the other with an open view of a loch in front. The house itself is like something I have dreamt about for what feels like eternity, one that you read in fairy tales about.

It took me a total of six days to come back into myself with each day settling that little bit more into this remote and wild place. I took long walks through the forest and up into the hills and day by day it wove me into its tapestry with carefully placed stitches, so eventually I felt a part of it.

If arriving here causes such profound response in me, you can only imagine what leaving is like. It is the hardest thing I have to do every year. I am so tired of this repetitive cycle. The sorrow’s return is unbearable, and it takes me weeks to settle back in on the other side.

Every morning, I wake up and greet the forest with a bow. It feels like the most natural thing to do for my body and everything that I am. It is like a constant companion that is always there. I can only imagine what it might be like to lose it. For now, it stands in its silent composure and greets me back with reassurance that there is another day to make adventure of. I bow once more to let it know I appreciate it being there. I could live with such a friend by my side. Pine’s perfume sits on a gentle breeze, as I stare in peace at a view ahead. It offers possibilities and adventure. A sense of space here is luxurious. ‘Take your pick, it says. Go here, go there, it is all available and alive and in offering.

I put my boots on and walk into the forest. Immediately a feeling of peace envelopes me. I feel found and lost all; held and spread out; delighted and watchful all at the same time. Most of all I feel at home. If I was to perish to the world in the moment of being immersed into the richest earth element of the forest, I would be glad, only glad. I find it hard to walk out of the forest, as its pull and hold are strong. Branches scrape at my legs and arms as if wanting to join my skin and I respond in lifting and holding them close. Moss under my feet is inviting. I put my hands into it lightly and take in the feeling of the earth rich and warm. There are big stones and boulders in this forest here and there. They lie in silence in emerald mossy coats guarding the forest’s treasures. It is as if any minute they would break open or rise up to speak or fight or show themselves to someone either in friendship or a threat. To me they feel alive on the inside and the casing around them is just an armour, a pretence, like a game of playing dead.

Next, I take a walk into the hills. It is slow as I stop often to take it all in. There are views as far as the eye can see; variety of angles and perspectives are immensely rich. There are rivers, giant mountains, lochs, blankets of thick forest, paths weaving themselves up and down hills. I must consciously take a breath in after walking for some time. It is too much and not enough at the same time – a feeling I often experience here.

Walking for me is essential to who I am. It is what it means being fully alive. I love its physical, emotional, spiritual, cognitive and creative aspects. It has a lot to offer to someone, who might struggle with their thoughts. It is a heavenly activity for anyone creative – a writer, painter, film maker, photographer. It offers a full body workout where at the end of it everything screams with pleasure. It does for me. I love to be aware of my aching legs, hot flesh and stiff back. It signals to me that I am alive and my body works its mechanism just fine. It often feels ecstatic to me when I return from a walk. My mind is always clutter free and there is a creative idea or two born out of my wanderings.

My morning with flowers

Music In The Plants


As I kneel by a hedgerow wild, windswept and bountiful with buckthorn, nettles and hips


I hear a song rising from within me


Voice begins to fly out in tunes old and soulful that repeat in perfect harmony


What a trance this is, like nothing else It carries me deep into the land’s knowing

Long forgotten yet still living


I sing and sing collecting plants that with a ‘yes’ come into my surrender

Wanting to live and having their song carried into awareness of gatherers.

From Soul Land collection

Intuition – ideas and examples

This morning I received the message I have been waiting for. It was loud and clear after what seemed like a very long time of struggling with overwhelm. I have been dealing with a ‘take-over’ energy of the external, as I like to call it, when it is near impossible to shake it off myself. It feels very heavy and sticky. I often felt like I was suffocating or losing my mind during the last month and this morning I again feel lighter. Sometimes even intuition can get caught up in a ‘stuckness’ we might experience and need to go through, yet it is not easy and highly unpleasant.

Being a highly empathic person things can get extremely painful during period of external overwhelm when one simply can not snap out of something and with each day the energy gets stronger and stronger and it truly feels like there is no escape. I often begin to have dreams where I escape someone or some place, break free, move away or there is a radical change and drastic and necessary movement. This again adds to an overwhelm in waking life.

It made me think about what happens to intuition when we are in a state of being ‘taken over’ by the external and unable to return to ourselves. Well, it makes perfect sense that intuition will get dulled down and quietened, as intuition is our internal knowing, inner guiding and when the force of the hive mind possesses over our individual way of being, it would naturally become ‘silenced’. This morning I got released and the advice was clear – Make your world smaller. With my intuition coming back and being very precise I knew this period is over and the message is exactly what I needed to hear and from here onwards I know what to do now and going forward should I ever again get tangled up in the external overwhelm.

This experience also made me think about your individual relationship with your intuition. How do you develop that? Where do you start?

My book Pagan Portals Intuitive Magic Practice touches on these topics and invites you to explore further.

The book will help you with asking the following questions in relation to learning about your relationship with your intuitive voice/knowing:

  • How does my intuition speak? Does it even speak? What is my experience of it?
  • What does it feel like? Is it a feeling or something else?
  • What do I do when I hear/feel//smell/ see it?

The book offers you an opportunity to start practicing your own way. You can devise a system of your own, perhaps, on what happens when, a step-by-step process that you will follow and more often than not the process will also unfold intuitively for you, if you let it.

There are real-life examples in the book on how it happened for me on the journey to living and practicing intuitively. It is such an exciting, playful and most of all creative experience that I can’t recommend it highly enough. I personally do not know any other way of living now. Creativity is closely linked with intuition and creativity is a huge part of my soul, my inner essence, I am made up of creativity, so it is a mutually recognisable language you can use when getting to know your way of being intuitive.

Intuition and dreams

There is this psychic space within us that we can discover via paying attention, feeling and fully experiencing our dreams or having life itself show us the alignment of within and without. It is a space where there is absolutely no doubt, a space that carries all the answers and knows all the ways that you, as an individual, operate. It is unique to you in one sense, but it is also universal, as we all have this space within us. It can bring incredibly strong affirmations to us through various ways that the feeling of it is so right it can not be questioned. Notice I say feeling – that is one most important and undoubtedly correct navigation system, as I like to say, you can not unfeel what you feel or pretend you are not feeling something. To know what I mean just try not to feel something when you are feeling something. It is there and its message, history, manifestation is valid because it simply is, the way it is in the moment, in your consciousness, born out of the collection of thoughts, behaviours, histories and beliefs from your psyche. It is born out of you, the feeling that is an affirmation of something intuitive within you that comes through in various ways.

One way to receive answers and affirmations from your intuition is via dreams and again, the way to know is via how you feel on waking from your sleep. If you don’t interpret anything else, e.g. symbols, archetypes, colours in your dreams, interpret your feeling. It will be there always as something for you to know. I think many would relate to having a particular feeling after a specific dream. Some are stronger than others, some scary others uplifting – all valid, all are messengers.

I have had several of these dreams lately where there was a question of some kind that had been flowing around for some time, things I wasn’t entirely sure about and was exploring, but also was leaning towards a particular resolution. A dream would come, and affirm the answer I have been seeking, or rather knew already and the feeling on waking would be so right I would have no doubt left. The question would then clear out of my psyche and on to the next thing. I noticed this pattern of processing psychic material via intuitive knowing that manifests in dreams often for me aligned with seasons and summer, June, in particular, is one such time when dreams become an active part of my intuitive manifestations and affirming answers for myself.

Intuitive ways can be weaved into your magic/spiritual practice and in your life in general in so many ways. It is a wonderfully enriching and enlightening journey and something that, once it becomes second nature, is like nothing else in a way of feeling content, fulfilled and free. It empores and inspires one to live in a way that has always been right for you. Application and manifestation of intuitive knowing is wide. It amazes me still every day just how much can be known and achieved when working from inside out.

Check out my latest book on Intuitive Practice, which covers working with nature; spell crafting; intuitive in general; dreams and intuition, etc. Have a look via the link of what is included in the Contents.

GET YOUR COPY HERE