Return of the masculine

a call for masculine

As a battalion of horsemen charged into my awareness I realised just how much in need we are of the masculine energy, the feminine needs the other half and the earth calls for its active involvement. More than ever the planet needs protection, service, loyalty and hard work of the body, mind and spirit. Sacred masculine, healthy Fire energy, is indispensable for us all in the collective and individually right now and it can be utterly stunning and powerful.

As last year it was predominantly about beautiful qualities of soft, calm, gentle and pure, this year we are going into more of a ‘battle’ from within out. I am being asked to call upon my inner masculine to resolve things that, perhaps, only that energy is able to do in the way that is needed. My masculine is protective, assertive, just, immensely grounding, rational and objective and I have found those qualities a life-saving dynamic when feminine was drowning in chaos and confusion. It holds, it contains just as well as feminine does, but yet so very differently  and it is that ‘otherness’ yet warm in its essence that I need right now. The energy of Fire within me is a healthy one and the vibrancy of it had been able to break through walls literary in the past. It is the energy that keeps us moving, it invites productive and authentic action into what needs to be done. Water element/feminine can stagnate and get stuck within us all for reasons of exhaustion and helplessness and that is when Fire is required to come in with intent and passion to catch the feminine mid-fall or pull it out of grey shallow water. There isn’t a lot of negotiation. We need a decision-making that is strong and assertive and fairly quick. As I write this I understand the relevance of this energy now in the collective and things that are happening in societies and in nature. The heartbreak of the feminine, the Earth and her screams and outburst of pain, which manifest in floods, winds and earthquakes is being heard by the masculine. Please do hear her! She often cries in silence that can be breathtakingly beautiful and otherworldly, but also that deep sorrow of the feminine seeks containment and support of the good masculine. It is time we engaged with it and went into a battle on all fronts for the good of the collective, nature and each and every one of us individually.

I can’t tell you how helpful and transformative it can be to summon certain energies from within to aid us in life. Exploration of your masculine and feminine is an absolute must on the road to full awareness and integration, as those two are incredible resources residing within us all and something we can actively use and embody when needed.

In time of spring it is unusual to call upon the masculine, but what is being observed is extra vulnerability of the feminine right now and during this time of year. It is a period of uncertainly and doubt of whether growth will come, if the birth will be successful. I also feel feminine is weakened emotionally this year in particular and needs a helping hand of reassurance. As I watch a silver birch outside my window I hear the call of the masculine, the warmth of the Fire and rejuvenation that is needed.

I bow in front of them both, in front of my own ability to discern what is needed at any given moment and without hesitation or doubt give it to myself and others from within myself. It is not easy, but it is not impossible either once you get to know the energies that live and breathe within us always. Direct it towards doing good and small things grow into manifestations of utter beauty and power for everyone. The world becomes not as scary and ugly, but a place that deserves protection and loyalty, a real place of authentic engagement.

(credit ytube Anime Hardstyle Published on Nov 14, 2013, see the channel for further authorship details)
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‘Help yourself’ magic

Spring Equinox

There is nothing like spring coming back that invites us more into life. It calls for awakening from stillness and dreaming of dark winter. It pulls a body into a much needed stretch, into a new kind of movement and engagement with the world. It offers that space to hear a new song from within ourselves that had been hibernating and birthing in darkness.

It has been a tough winter for many in 2019 that made us stuck in chaos, confused and stalled, not much movement other than in dreams and other types of realities. The process had been necessary, as everything is always is, and the purpose of the ‘stuckness’ was to explore ourselves from a position of where we are and who we are, what are our realities and do they serve us. It has not been an easy download to understand and integrate, however, relying on intuition and instinct had been useful even those areas halted in space that invited asking help from outside. Sometimes there is nothing wrong with asking for help from outside when we are stuck and this can be particularly useful and necessary for those of us, who is not used to asking for help and instead there for everyone else. This was partly the work of this winter to get to know that pattern again from a perspective that actually it is absolutely ok to ask for that hand that we need to hold on to and it is ok not to lead once in a while. I also realised that when you do ask for help you then are able to help yourself better – an interesting insight, which manifested through some magical workings that also involved asking for help from the elementals. This is something I have not done before necessarily in this way, but, as always based on the intuitive knowing this is what came through.

I asked ‘Help me’ while in nature doing the work and two days later I got it. It came as a voice, a message, an insight that said ‘Help yourself’. It contained the energy of giving back to me the knowing and responsibility for my own healing. We are the best healers for ourselves without a doubt, but that does depend very much on our relationships with ourselves. Doing the ‘self’ work whether it is through a therapeutic relationship, spiritual practice, other activities, all of those together, will put you in touch with yourself like nothing else and that is the most important element to ensure one lives in a way that it ‘whole’, fulfilling and peaceful. Without a doubt the best gift of self work is you integrate back into what you were always meant to be with all your beautiful resources, qualities, unique gifts, resilience and potential intact. In order to get there we often need to ask for help, we need to learn to reach out and relate, connect without fear or judgement. We need to be vulnerable to become truly strong and grounded and we need courage and strength to be vulnerable when it is terrifying.

This spring feels already like a very nourished, turned over soil that is ready to share its bounty and wisdom with us if we are willing to be patient with our newly planted seeds, warm and kind with ourselves, accepting of all that we are, good and bad, twisted and glorious, strong and weak – all of that richness that is the soil of our bodies and the light of our souls. I am excited to see what is to come. It is all new again.

That place

There’s this place I know far far into northern parts

It is raw with spirit, with rugged edges and foamy waves and winds that rip through your heart mercilessly

It is the wild part in me it speaks to the most

It is the unrest in my soul it wants to harbour like a ship of its own fleet, like a native creature long extinct

What I didn’t know it holds cruelty as it will ask you to give up all that is here and now, all that is day to day

It is made of another substance all together and it lives only by its own rules

It holds the biggest spirit in its rivers, mountains and forests that it will blind you with its majesty and beauty

Losing yourself to it is easy, effortless, delightful even

Pulling yourself back into life is near impossible as once that pristine air enters your lungs it is all you will find yourself being able to breathe and life, that life we have here on Earth becomes worth losing

Dangerous, you see, losing yourself in the overwhelm of the beautiful land, joining spirit before your time

The land is a perfect place for that, losing yourself. It knows the deepest grief and the most glorious rising towards another world where nothing matters but the feeling of belonging to it unconditionally, in surrender

Blissing through the body in 2019

Self-care is going to be at the top of my priorities list this year and it is going to happen through the body. What I mean is that my relationship with the body is going to upgrade to a more solid, reaffirming and grounding way. In other words my experiences of the world here on Earth are to be embodied. As I write this I feel super connected to everything that I am and I pledge to pay attention to all parts equally with respect, care and love.

Grounding through the body IS the thing that will be very important in the months to come and when some years are and have been about spiritual development and connection this one is about the physical and redefining and transforming your connection to all that our body is.

I feel this will create a good foundation for the period of my life that has already started. Hormonal adjustments will be taking place within my strong vessel from here onwards and I aim to apply all approaches towards riding the wave of change, which are cognitive, emotional and spiritual. For me, these are exciting times facing challenges but also developing deeply felt compassion towards myself and my body more specifically.

The first element to engage with will be the Earth. Just as it is with home, finances and security it will be with how do my feet feel when I am planted on the ground. How do I walk and move. Exercising through my feet will be important and taking care of joints and skin on my legs and feet. The colour is brown, grey, darkish pond green and earthy reds. I hold a lot of tension in my legs, which I discovered last year and my first treatment to engage with will be reflexology.

More to come on this subject.

What if I flow…

What if I just flow…

With the wind in the wildest place

With water soft as silk the colour of silver

With green pine needles fragrant with essence

What if I become it…

The place where love is the only religion

That breathes deep nature spirit for eternity

All is well the land whispers into my soul spreading her seasons around me

Go well in my soothing presence and know your belonging in the deepest roots of all creation

‘De-railing’ effect in the collective

Do you feel like:

You are unable to ground whatever you try

Feeling lost, disconnected and disintegrated

In doubt of what you need and want

Seeking something constantly

Unable to find anything that helps

Values, believes and morals are being questioned in a big way

Death anxiety

Feeling anxious and vulnerable all the time

Inner child in distress or near-death situation

Unable to cope

Feeling restless and can’t focus on any one thing

Frantic feeling in the body, wanting to escape

Depressed and low

Persistent nightmares

And much more…

I have been feeling all of the above for the last two month since January began and what a shock? It feels merciless, confusing, unsettling and just unmanageable. I have been doing things I don’t normally do and on reflection it’s really striking the influence of these energies. If you are worried about this like I have been it is worth noting that these are energies, that even though expected 2019 signature, are playing out in the collective right now in a big way and it is not over yet. This year is going to be a tough one, but like all best lessons, this year’s ones will be most valuable in aiding us to move forward. Hold on tight

The hardest and incredibly strong pull and push is particularly around your realities and your spiritual or religious beliefs. If nothing else watch what happens there. Fascinating and can lead to all sorts of ‘deceiving’ outcomes.

Stay safe and well!

In a storm

The storm rages like I rage

Eternal conflict between love and freedom

The land encapsulates both

And whenever I see destruction of nature both freedom and love die within me and

I rage like the wildest sea that despite all life’s chains can not be locked away or tamed

That is the essence of my being

I rage like the blazing sun of mid summer when rain is in hiding and the burning is in the heart that can’t be pacified

My Firy love lies in remote corners of the land where the wild heart of its core merges with mine

Whoever steps in it must be beaten with the power of wilderness, must be tested to a point of no limits

My heart bleeds for the land where wolves roam no longer yet their spirits are alive with roar against the tiny hand of humanity

Destroying land is destroying freedom like a dagger through its own mother’s heart whose love prevails no matter what

The wind, water, fire and cracking earth core are voices, fierce in their screams

Freedom and love – only in land I find they don’t conflict within me

Only here I am simultaneously consumed and released

It is the place where death lies next to me gently