It saddens me to become more and more aware of the dissonance within a community that, perhaps, I saw different somehow or wanted to see different, although my own perceptions got me into trouble here. People operate on a level of collective where unconscious shadow material has been playing out in the world on a large scale over the last few years and always had done really when we think about it. It is no wonder to see it spreading into all sorts of groups whether consciously or unconsciously. What is important for me is to stay aware in that energy of what is really happening and what is ultimately important, essential to me. Troubled exchanges I have witnessed within a community reminded me strongly of other communities many others identify with. A need to belong gets us into trouble too very often when taken to an extreme. Luckily for me that is not an area I struggle with, but nevertheless one can see it happening every day and it is not wrong in and of itself it is extremities of any kind that creates a space of non-safety for many paradoxically and unconsciously. I have been a witness and stayed away from strong, open identifications yet what recent experiences reaffirmed to me is that the decision to be a solitary practitioner is what works for me. I came in as a solitary and I leave as a solitary and that is the most neutral and comfortable for me. That much has always been clear, but I did allow myself to explore and experiment mainly to test out my own choosing. It exposed the reason why I am solitary even more due to my feeling the energy rising from within the collective and witnessing it on one hand for what it is, but at the same time not wishing to add that particular pallet to my overall painting, which is my own spiritual practice. There is sadness and within that a sense of hopelessness for the overall whole yet what I can only do is to commit further to my own walking the earth with what feels aligned with my integrity and heart.
It has become apparent to me this morning I want to change names on my pages and my website not so much to dis-indentify from something, but to reaffirm something for myself and my practice. However, I also know I don’t like labels. I feel labels do not serve the heart and have an unconscious attachment to what is not always the right thing for you and the right thing for me is what it is all about as far as my practice, awareness and development goes. Coming back to the heart centre, strength point, power cup, essential space of your being or whatever you choose to call that point of safety, knowing and honour for yourself, is all that matters. It re-grounds us in our beliefs and practices and re-balances any uncertainties that naturally would come in and out of our experiences. There is no judgement on yourself or others there is only acceptance of things for what they are and how they are. Compassionate understanding for others and your own choices is all that is important.
And into the woods I go, on my own, just as it should be, and just what is needed for myself and the universe at large. My path is of the solitary Elemental witch and it is so for a reason and I hold it dear and let nature guide me as always towards my heart.
What is eclectic? The definition is ‘deriving ideas, style, or taste from a broad and diverse range of sources’, i.e. my spiritual path is shaping up to be a collection of ideas, theories, philosophies and ways of practicing my connection with the spirit.
I started out many years ago on a path of Witchcraft. It is still strongly present in my work with the elements, herbalism, connecting with the Goddess and flowing with the moon cycles, although my spell crafting practice have reduced dramatically. I have always been an intuitive witch, followed by a kitchen and hedge orientation. This particular journey began when I first connected to a part of myself asleep for a long time. I experienced awakening within myself when someone on outside pointed out some qualities and abilities I had no name for. I was gifted a book of shadows, an athame and a deck of Tarot cards and when exploring the meaning of it all I came back to my own deep alignment to the path of witchcraft. It did feel like coming home, calm, peaceful and deeply knowing. Things began to open up for me, transform and manifest at a fast speed.
All my paths’ directions came to me through intuitive and meaningful coincidences, i.e. I was directed towards a particular way of exploring my relationship to spirit be it through personal encounters with people, programmes I watched, images that came to me or groups I connected with. All these events felt very natural and noticeably meaningful to my development on my own unique spiritual path.
Since last year Druidry started show itself in various forms inviting me to explore it further. I began to read a lot and experienced many feelings, positive and negative, making me unpick various meanings. In particular I began my work with ancestors of blood, place and spirit. My deep connection to Celtic lands was clear and I felt a need to bring my skills and experiences into the open, out into the community. At that point I felt my life purpose became to clarify more and more. I recently attended a Druid Grove’s Lammas ceremony and although it felt deeply familiar and holding it strikingly highlighted for me how solitary I am and how my preference is strongly for intuitive practice rather than an organised ritualistic practice. I seemed to have taken a step back, which then made me think more about my initial direction as a solitary witch. I am not sure at this point that the call to join a community is currently working. Perhaps, it was a way to test and adjust, for which I am grateful.
Buddhism has been strongly present for me in the last year or so and just as I felt my Transpersonal/spiritual 5th plane of consciousness self very deeply, the Buddha within me aligned with that vibration. The vibration of peace and serenity, by far, the most precious vibration for me. For as long as I lived all I have ever wanted was inner peace and saw it as something elusive and unattainable until a few years ago when my spiritual awakening happened and I saw and experienced my Buddha self. I am in love with the vibration and it comes to me in the most natural way when I work with my clients. In my day-to-day life, however, connecting to that energy has always been a challenge. I have struggled to connect spiritual and earthly and experienced the split, or rather a challenge to bring one into another and vice versa, but this is the biggest challenge for us all, they say and a life-long work. I have a deep understanding of what that means and continue working with various aspects of myself through psycho-spiritual and therapeutic practices. Buddhist ways of being away of the present moment, middle way and mindfulness are practices I don’t see abandoning any time soon, however, some elements of the path remind me too much of Christian commandments and that word alone puts me off. In fact I stopped reading a book recently as soon as the author made a comparison with that and rules and conditions. Who know I might go back to the back one day and see how I feel. Meditation also remains a challenge and I am still exploring a way that sits the best with me. Actually the way Druids describe it resonates better, they call it an active participation in the process rather than abandoning all thoughts. I am an engagement sort of person and journeying techniques, e.g. are the ones I am used to the most.
Nature reverence and worship, as well as, the Wheel of the year strongly remains at the centre of my spiritual path. This has been one constant and beautiful way of my connection to myself and spirit. It has been a confirmation of the wholeness and connectivity of all things. I continue working with the Elements, trees and spirit animals, as well as maintaining my very strong connection to the land. My relationship to sacred sites, stone circles and Celtic ancient lands remains continuous. Scotland is and will always be my spiritual home, but I am also deeply connected to the land of Wales and Ireland. Magic, enchantment and wonder of all things nature is in my heart daily and have been my saviour, sacred connection to love and gratitude.
I think I have always been an eclectic sort of person. I could never see myself following one way completely and utterly, as my mind is curious and constantly questioning and evolving. I remain in curiosity and wonder and for things to settle within me they must align and resonate with my deep experience of spirit. It needs to make my heart sing and produce ringing in my ears and a sweet song on my lips for me to call it my way. This reminds me, as an example, that when I work with herbs either in my kitchen or recently by a Scottish Loch, I suddenly started to sing in the voice I hardly ever hear within me. It felt flowing and natural and I went to a place that is my spiritual retreat, my soul connected with the energy of spirit in a way that could not be broken. I experience joy and complete balance in moments like that. It feels right, it feels like home and very familiar.
What am I? I am Pagan and I am Intuitive, for sure. I am a nature spirit, seer and a Crone at heart. My spiritual name is White Hart Rose.
If you are on a spiritual path and, perhaps, finding it challenging to pinpoint what your path is, I suggest you relax. Remain open, patient and take it as a life-long commitment to finding your way while connecting to the elements of whatever spiritual paths come your way, those elements that make your soul sing whether it is collecting herbs or meditating. You are not lost, you are collecting parts of yourself that might have been lost or hidden and resurrecting your own experience of spirit the way it has always been within you.
Much love and many blessings!
In the last few weeks I am coming to an insight about working with different parts of ourselves and energies that actually do not belong to us, i.e. they are operating from outside, through us, but they are not necessarily a part of our psyche or personality.
Integration work within psychotherapeutic circles and depth psychology is a popular one and it makes sense, as we are all of many parts. We are multi-dimensional and play various roles depending on circumstances, within relationships and what is active within our psyche. We take on archetypal energy too and play that out in our life. Through therapeutic work we can become aware of different parts of ourselves, or sub-personalities, some would call it. We can give these parts names, voices, visual and physical presentation and establish a relationship with them all and observe how they relate to one another. This work can be profound in its insight and potentially transforming our relationship to ourselves and others around us. It can also get us closer to our soul purpose and true essence. With a skilful therapist walking alongside you it can be a very important piece of work.
It is summer, post Litha, Summer Solstice a surge of continuous energy is very welcomed. I feel on an equal flow with the universal intentions and designs and find throwing myself into all things home, family, finances, creating and inventing new ways of improving our lives.
The Goddess is pregnant at this time and our garden plot is filled with fresh produce. Emerald green newly born cucumbers, fragrant herbs and greens, full-bellied cabbages ready to ‘burst’ and be eaten. It is such a blessing to feel this abundance in the season and in the heart.
It has been very hot, which is often a struggle for me. I have always said that there is no such thing as a bad weather. Well, the heat is possibly the only time you will hear me complaining a bit. When many seek to escape to hot countries for their holidays I am off to the north of Scotland. Isle of Skye is promising pure magical immersion and enchanting experiences. I can hardly wait. I am definitely more of a cool, shady creature, who enjoys early mornings and late evenings, Moon light and the second part of the year. I do love the abundance of the summer months and our fresh, delicious organic produce the Earth gifts us with, but I do love the autumn and winter when one goes within for hibernation and deep work in the shadows.
Here’s a poem I wrote recently, which again expresses my love for nature and feeling that ‘belonging’, that ‘feeling at home’ experience when walking the path of the witch, old ways, nature-bound deliciousness and alignment.
I cannot wait to be as one with the Land of my soul next week and breathe easy and in tune with all things wild, magical and free.
Oh how soul craves the Earth, the bare, moist and deep
The calling drenched in sweetest voice directs oneself to thee
You are the stars, the Moon, the Sun, the flowers on forest floor
You are the fallen leaves that fly surrendering to her
The Earth’s warmth and calm embrace gives power to soul
To rest, to be, to sing and dance In circle of the coil
One whole, one complete within…
When I go on my bike I am instantly called to connect with all the elements around me, so I mount my trusted horse and fly through the woods, by the water, up and down the hill in the cool morning air.
Most of my musings come to me either on my mindful walks or my bike rides and today’s topics were of the words and symbols. I have been using the word witch recently more often than before. I really like it. There is energy in every word that we utter, in the tone that we use and the feeling that follows. The word derives from the Old English nouns wicca ‘sorcerer, male witch’ and wicce ‘sorceress, female witch’. The word also has some Old English and Germanic roots, which connects with the word we use today ‘hag’, which is what I associate with the most.
A hag to me is an old soul. It is not necessarily an old woman with white hair, as one might imagine. It can be a woman of any age, even a child. To me it is more about her energetic, intuitive sense and her understanding of magical ways ‘make-up’ that makes her ‘old’. The old energy is knowing and directive, feeling at ease with the knowledge of the deeper magic of the world and all experiences around us. It has an ancestral flavour to it and such souls, I feel, have visited the Earth many times before.
Ever since I was a child my mother said I was ‘not of this world’, which being an extremely sensitive soul I always took as her misunderstanding of me, non-acceptance of some sort and even being a threat, however, my ‘adult, old soul’ side proceeded in the way that I knew was right for me and that wisdom later on allowed me understanding of what my mother meant and her ‘wonder’ of me. She also always said and still does that she never worries about me, she knows that I know what to do, when to do it and how to do it and that it will get done whatever it is I set my mind on.
Even as a young woman I always felt beyond my years and I do believe that my being in the young physical body or my association with what a young body is never mattered to me. Physical beauty has always been of less importance to me in myself and others, either male or female. I see ‘through’ people, right into the soul and that’s what always matters. That’s where true beauty lies.
I have also experienced cravings for the old age, I see a huge amount of freedom in being old. I guess this is something to observe as I walk into the middle point of my life this year. Another association and my alignment with the ‘hag’ is my huge attraction to Baba Yaga archetype and the last quarter of the year. Samhain is the most exciting and ‘homely’ time of the year for me. I was also born straight after, in November.
So, while riding my trusted companion this morning I was contemplating the use of words in our daily life. This is something that came up a lot this week in my own work with clients and with my own therapist. The way we talk to ourselves matters hugely, as words hold energies, which we often unconsciously direct into people and things, which then affect events and our behaviour in ways that are not welcomed. For example, as I was exploring with my client earlier this week her situation regarding a job, I heard her saying several times ‘I already decided I am not going to get a job even before I applied’. She then got into a state of anxiety and panic and also an expectation of the outcome being bad, but at the same time hoping it will not be.
What we align with we get back. The universe is the mirror of energies we project and intentions we send out into the world. Most of the time this process is unconscious and that is the point that needs addressing, raising our awareness of our own words and actions. We explored my client’s feelings and her thoughts on changing a lot of words that she uses in her daily life and see if vibrations within her body and around her change. If we change ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can’ is something that at least opens up a possibility for things to happen and even if they don’t, we would have tried with faith in ourselves, however, if we block something before it even happens, that block will prevent a flow of energy towards the outcome that you are seeking.
Magic is all about intention and manipulating energy towards the outcome that you seek or desire. Using words in the right way and with the vibration in alignment with your desired outcome is very important. I like writing my own spells, but also sometimes when I come across something written by someone else and it sounds ‘just right’ for whatever work I have in mind, I will certainly use it.
So, on the Eve of 2015 Summer Solstice and with the forthcoming demise of the Oak king we are shifting into the next stage of the year, the Wheel is turning once again. I have felt the looming shift for the whole month, which manifested in my dreams of ‘death and rebirth’, ‘bodies and babies’, feeling energetically quite vibrant, like something is about to be ignited, something new and strong and also sensing some endings, ‘mini death’. I had two clients complete their work in the last two weeks and I am feeling a few things in my life ‘dying out’, old habits that ran its course, a change of things around in my environment and building up new structures, like my new Healing shed. All is good and all makes sense in the world to me when I am in alignment with nature and its cycles and it is so wonderful. I solidify my knowing with a bit of shapeshifting with the elements this morning.
As I fly on my ‘horse’ through fragrant with jasmine and elderflower woods I inhale the cool and pure morning air and I spread my wings like a bird flying into the new space of possibilities.
When I encounter water and yellow lilies poking their beautiful little heads from the deep I become a frog jumping from one leaf to another with my feet touching the water, comforting and healing. I feel immense gratitude.
I become a ball of Fire with vibrant flames and powerful language of the masculine, as I ride with force, drive and full focus, which exhilarates all my senses and the inner dragon delights in its power.
The old tree becomes my Earth and as a Dryad, a tree spirit of the woods, I hug the old Oak and it hugs me back and as I feel enveloped into its warm bark I feel protected and supported.
Wishing you a blessed Summer Solstice, beautiful beings! I am off to Stonehenge and I can not wait to feel at home once again, at one with the Earth, the spirits, the ancestors and with who I AM.