Spring Equinox dream

Ostara 2018

I had an Ostara dream of giving birth, first to a girl and then a boy. They were two separate pregnancies and births and both spoke of healing, balance and transformation. As I began to wake up a sense of wonder, peace, joy and satisfaction laid over me with vivid presence. It covered me in a place safe and knowing and I was content.

Both births happened fairly quickly and naturally. They flowed the way, I felt, it was meant to be. A very physical experience yet easy, calm and trusting. It brought a true healing to my experience of childbirth in real life that had been very traumatic and for many years my mind blocked it out and forgotten with the body carrying the trauma within and manifesting terror in many ways. I had birth dreams before, but nothing like this one. Last night it spoke of the way things get birthed into being and when trust and knowing is present it can be a natural and easy process. We hear about it often yet it is not always so and for many reasons.

With spring equinox coming into life the importance of balance comes into place. Feminine and masculine energies begin to birth into what is to become a union later on in May. It felt magical and so timely to birth that experience of both as equal into the world. Both the girl and the boy were born safely and into a lot of love around them.

Birth dreams are often referred to a new beginning, a journey of growth and potentially transformation. Spring is a vulnerable time of transition and many things get born into this world during spring and not everything or everyone survives. It is a time of doubt and trepidation but also hope and a possibility of nurturing and creating.

Prior to my Ostara dream for a few nights I dreamt of dead bodies, body parts and holding on to stuff that had died some time ago. Those dreams are frequent and come about when it is time I let go of the weight of the past and allowed some parts of myself die and bury it ‘not in shallow graves like in my dreams’, but deep within the darkness and nourishment of the earth. Earth is a transmitter of all energy and what’s left always goes where it is needed. Death dreams are always followed by birth dreams. It seems to be a pattern my dreams follow.

This particular Ostara dream also told me that a birth doesn’t have to be painful, traumatic, rushed or unsupported. It can be truly invigorating, hard, but rewarding work and results are delicate and hopeful like nothing else.

As we continue through the next month of changeable weather and uncertain temperatures let us hold on to the feeling of the earth knowing how to give birth to what is to grow into a glorious experience of times yet to come. I

The girl born was called Jennifer. Here is some history of the name, which connects nicely with the overall feeling:

 Jennifer is a feminine given name, a Cornish form of Guinevere/Gwenhwyfar adopted into the English language during the 20th century. “Jennifer” may mean “white enchantress” or “the fair one” (from Proto-Celtic *Windo-seibrā “white phantom”).

Image: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/heidiwoodlawn/ostara/
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Flying into spring

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With hair smelling of earth and aching leg muscles I feel like I can fly. Air element is strongly present since calendar spring began. Identification with flying, birds and wings propels me into areas I would not have visited before or even considered. There is space, openness, possibilities and opportunities. Ultimately freedom. Elemental change has been quite sudden and quick this year just as one day we had snow and the next all the flowers were out. From Water I stepped into Air, or rather flew into it.

My pace changed from gentle quietness of winter to a very busy mind full of ideas, engaging with a lot of research and literary feeling like I was going to take off any minute and fly. My views expanded hugely. I didn’t just begin to step outside my comfort zone and think outside the box I threw the box away. I also experienced my clients having breakthroughs in their process one after another. There was an opening of some sort, which again invited us all, it seems, into being something different. This all feels like a big change overnight.

What I am working on now is bringing myself back into balance and what is needed is Earth, so I walk a lot. I wash my hair (crown chakra) with clay and mud and exercise my body so I can feel every muscle and joint to connect me to the physical. It is grounding. On my walk today I encountered a heron bird I often see and even though it was a bird, a lot of them in my awareness right now, Heron is a wise old crone, which warns against haste and too much speed. I hear her and I slow down standing next to the bird.

Experience is exhilarating and again different. What I notice most of all is lack of fear. Courage is all around me. I feel like I can fly and not just that, but I also know how to. I am in touch with my skills and inner wisdom more than ever and what also comes in strongly is trust, which overrides doubt every day. It feels incredible and liberating to a point of ‘jumping’ off the cliff and being ok. As many doors remain closed or get shut in my face I find my ‘wings’ grow bigger. I find my way, I manoeuvre life and people with greater confidence and skill. I think things through and able to step away when I feel I have overdone it. Too much thinking is never good, hence bringing in balancing elements is important to keep the overall effect positive and yourself intact and healthy.

I am enjoying ‘my flight’ so far and excited to see what else this spring brings with it. In the next couple of week we will have Ostara and nature will burst into blooming picture of glory. I am ready!

‘Soon’, she whispers…

 

soon
I love the slow coming of spring. ‘Soon,’ she whispers through the naked tree tops and amidst moist hedges awaiting the birth. Spring is like an unborn child in the womb of the earth and in bellies of ewes roaming the land slow grazing. Flowers timidly poking their heads through the soil in colours of purple and yellow. Spring brings hope, gentle and exciting, and nature all around is still in its anticipation to burst into being once again.

Walking into spring

Imbolc, meditation walk in nature

I went outside and was met with a cold wind on my skin and a bright sun reflected in my hair. I squinted towards the light and took in the wind’s cold embrace into my face with pleasure. I exhaled all I no longer wished to carry.

When I walk in nature I always find I begin to breathe properly, deeply, slower, more aware of each inner and outer breath. I stop, close my eyes and feel into my body, as nature surrounds me. Birds’ wild swooping above my head and a distant calling of their comrade wakes me up into my walk again. I begin slowly and steadily on my path, through some farm fields and into a wooded area. I become aware of a chant, as I carefully watch my steps and feel pressure against the earth with delight and embodied knowing. The chant becomes louder mud, sticks, stones and trees; mud, sticks, stones and trees. As I repeat the words I am completely and fully aware of where I am, who I am, what I am doing and my breath has never been more profoundly present. I close my eyes again and stand still for a minute continuing reciting the words again and again and with each in-breath I feel full of life. I also become aware of my body in a way that it carries me every day. I am grateful for my legs and feet that allow me to be in nature whenever I feel like it. A grounded walk is all I ever need to come back to myself.

It’s just passed Imbolc and the air is filled with hope and anticipation. Everything around us is waking up, yet everything is still, about to move, about to sprout, but not just yet. It is pure joy and excitement. I love early spring and begin to crave some warmth and softness of soil in my hands, as I begin to plant seeds in my garden. Every year with the arrival of copper topped trees that unveil in the landscape I see Brigit with her red hair. She is singing and calling in the birds for a dance. Young, free and beautiful she plays amidst trees in pure knowledge of her own divine force and power to bring creativity into our new spring and support us as this new cycle begins. Soon everything will explode in ecstasy of spring and with a fragrant fresh air we are reminded there will be light, warmth, harvest and bounty to be had in months to come. She stands in the middle of the woodland grove in white and green clothing cupping a white candle. She sings and bows to trees, then sits down to play a tune on her flute and writes a poem with a goose feather wand. I observe in reverence and silence and my own heart is filled with immense gratitude, peace and authentic energy of myself being here and now, in this moment and that is all there is and it is utterly beautiful. A blessing, indeed!

Body knows…

sadness in spring

What is it with spring and physical health problems for me?

They say body knows, holds and experiences. It knows it all. Well, I agree that most of what’s going on is a trigger of one or another emotional issue in me and even though this year I am consciously redefining and healing my spring-related emotional wounds my body still remembers and it aches in the physical.

Spring has always been an intense and challenging season for me, particularly towards the end of spring, around Beltaine. I do wish it was summer, but then, of course, I remind myself how summer triggers me into other emotional areas. It is profound and insightful and never fails to leave me in wonder and curiosity how seasons connect me to my life, emotions, thoughts and my past.

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Spring forest bathing

My heart is overflowing with gratitude for the spring air filling my lungs and the sun caressing my face as gentle as a feather.

The birdsong is wondrous and exquisite in its multi-tonal spiral of a whistle.

I melt into the earth’s awakening feeling and see the mother welcoming me into her embrace.

Trees are smiling with warmth inside their trunks and wave branches about in ecstatic spring dance.

Spring, oh so gentle and soft in colours yellow, white and purple. Delightful energy of calmness and tranquility.

I love how everything stops when I lie on the ground looking up to the sky through delighted tree tops and birdsong accompanies me into deep relaxation.