Category: soul land

In waiting…

.Reading time 2 minutes.

Feel unrooted, between places, between worlds. A sense of keen belonging is yet to land, for now I feel suspended in anticipation. Can’t say I like it.

Uncertainty, expectation, increased longing for what I don’t know yet. Feeling without a home is not a pleasant one. I have one yet out there there’s another one that sticks itself into my skin like a thorn every year. I am faced with a choice, on one hand wanting to abandon my current position but yet to attach to another. I feel ungrounded and in that space I do lose myself a little. Restlessness within is not a smooth flow but rather jagged projection on to everything and everyone. There is also an element of not being in control and that’s unsettling too. Waiting is another vibration that can present challenges. Waiting for what? Knowing I am waiting for something but what I don’t know and in that waiting I detach from one but yet to attach to that unknown and will I want to? Like losing ground from under my feet without knowing if whatever it is I am waiting for would catch up. Patience in that state becomes difficult and impatience sats in, which again manifests in rough outbursts of emotions and cold energy projection. It can be a dark place to be even amidst the sunshine, it is also lonely as difficult to convey the feeling that goes with it. I find myself wishing the sun away and wanting rain but it doesn’t feel rational or logical or even intuitively right. Confusing, searching, lost…

I recognise that every year this occurs as I prepare to leave my home in search of a home yet to be.

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The land’s awaiting…

.Reading time 3 minutes.

Eagerly anticipated trip to the Isle of Mull, Scotland, where spaciousness and quiet are of the sacred quality. You notice the space through the senses of transpersonal as if your heart expands to beyond possible. It is very quiet there. Each sound is sharp and defined, momentary and fleeting and then silence clear and pure. Each movement of the wind is felt on the skin like it’s meant to be there, like your body knows it, recognises it. A sense of merging with the land takes your breath away and for a moment you can’t imagine ever living apart from it. Intoxicating, yes, incredibly natural, yes like the flow of water whether it’s the sea, a loch or a small brook amidst trees belongs to your blood. It is as one with everything you are and the world beyond its shores seems non-existent. You are unreachable, a place to be wild and raw just like the land. It is free and itself at all times. The land makes one feel like otherworldly thoughts are as part of you as your soul’s calling. It knows you and you know it intimately. The place felt incredibly safe to me from the first sight as the ferry approached its shores and as I stepped on the island again I felt like I arrived. I really arrived and slotted into a comfortable, supportive vessel that I knew would gently lull me into falling in love with it all over again. It is more than love though, trust and faith are possible here, effortless even. Listening and being still is natural here. It is innate.

Scotland is a very spiritual place and in different ways depending on where one goes there. Each area visited brings its own joy, transformations and experiences. The land allows you to explore the whole you by talking the language my soul understands. The land is alive and one can’t help but be touched by it. It is overwhelming and all-consuming, raw and unspoilt that makes you feel like you are born again or rather having lived a life in glory that is achieved through merging with the land. Divinity within is reflected by the divine beauty of the place and how can it be otherwise as in the moment of merging all is revealed and all is possible and the land and I are one entity seeking ecstasy of being. Leaving the land is heartbreaking, truly… every time…

Answering the ‘call’

.Reading time 3 minutes.

 

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Isle of Mull, Scotland 2017

I heard the call back in 2013 when stepping upon the earth of the soul land my heart exploded. I was tossed and turned inside out with internal screaming bursting into tears of joy and confusion. I was stuck by sheer magic and meaning of what it was like to belong to a place I never knew existed.

It took me a few years to work out what happened back then when I first visited Scotland and every year since then I couldn’t bare be parted from it. It hasn’t been easy going back and stepping into the land that knew my soul so well again and again and having to leave it behind every time with a feeling of deep grief within.

I am still in that place of neither here nor there, desperately wanting to go and needing to stay, having to live the life I have here, which is glorious in many ways. I am content yet yearning never leaves me for the place that stole my utter being and grabbed hold of me so tightly.

With each passing year the pull of the land hasn’t stopped, in fact, it has intensified with each summer when I would make the same journey and every winter when my heart would pine for it. I fought against it and even tried to convince myself it wasn’t real or happening just to test yet the answer was always the same. It is in my bones so deep I can’t be separated from it physically or spiritually.

I lived there before a long time ago and died a gruesome death with my blood spilling directly on the earth and penetrating its cells. I was of the land like a native animal that recognised smells, sounds and colours of every season the land had dressed itself in. I am still of that land, I am still that animal. I can taste it and its distinctive smell never leaves my senses. It is a particular sensation instantly recognisable by me. I can reach it at any moment yet physical separation remains too much to bear.

I live with my heart open and always listen carefully and intentionally to what the next step might be…

 

The energy of ‘new’ continues…

.Reading time 5 minutes.

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I am loving this year of totally new and different, inwards and outward recovery, re-learning back to the original state, simplifying, clearing and emptying a space that is pure and light, zooming in on intention and conscious awareness more so that it feels even more natural, effortless.

This ‘new’ is so different this year with a vibration of solid knowing and that original signature that lays so firmly underneath all the layers within us all. When it came this year it was instantly recognisable and very welcomed. Things fall away with ease and transformation is quick and natural. As a space is created new things flow in. So far winter and spring for me have been redefined completely. Previous wounding seems to have crumbled into a glorious material of new building material.

‘Recovery’ this spring is a prominent theme on many levels. This recovery covers our identification with the societal, with the old way of doing things, what ‘we should be doing’ and not ‘what we would like to’. The message is to get back to the original, to our soul purpose. It also applies to a physical recovery inviting us to focus on our health and vitality. Emptying the mind and our surroundings of the ‘non-essential’ and leaving only what truly matter, which mostly transpires to be what we already have within and nothing from outside.

Every year in spring without a fail I get some mysterious physical disturbances and it hit me in the face the other day the meaning of what it is all about. It is needing to recover, but not only that, allow time to recover without judgement, wanting it to be gone instantly and never come back. This instant gratification culture and want for things, events and changes are so deeply rooted within the society that it has become a natural default, it seeped into every area of our life, yet it is not working. Layer after layer, behaviour after behaviour have been dropping off with clearer vision and awareness this spring and I have learnt to be humble with pain and love my physicality and fragility even more. It speaks of impermanence of things very loudly and the more we embrace the concept of things ending, life ending the more we will engage with life now. This is so simple yet so true and it is encouraging to see changes all around that call for a ‘new’ way of looking at life amidst all the insanity of the world.

As we approach summer this year, my next challenge, as it is the darkest time for me, I actually feel I am activating my Fire element again in a very different way this year. Fire element has always been my winter element, but this year I was luxuriating in Water all through winter and summer is calling my good Fire. The opposites are taking place. I feel focused, motivated, passionate, productive, purposeful and decisive, which are normally qualities of my winters. Things are riping into being, as I go about my days. I can feel the rise of manifesting energy, as small seedlings grow higher on my land. I am also so far less rejecting of the hot weather and finding such pleasure in early mornings and evenings, which are truly beautiful near and during summer. Nature wonderfully supports this new inner blooming every day as serves as a container of all the richness we carry within.

Signatures of comfort, space, freedom and purpose are all present this spring and as we going into summer I am excited to see what it brings. All I seem to being asked to do is create space, exhale and open up my heart more than ever before and the rest will follow.

 

My visit to Cornwall

.Reading time 4 minutes.
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Land’s End, Cornwall

In line with doing things differently this year instead of going to our well-loved and familiar place up North we headed down South. What a learning experience.

As soon as we drove into the land of Cornwall my immediate sense was of emptiness, but only on the surface. I sensed very clearly a lot of activity in the land, but deep underneath, all hidden. On the surface it was all plain, quiet, and almost barren the way that I experienced it. For days on end no matter where we went whether it was to the seaside or in-land the feeling of dullness and boredom never left me. I desperately craved something dramatic, colourful that would touch me, but nothing did. We went to an ancient castle, as no coincidence, I felt I needed instinctively to re-awaken my senses in one way or another. Ancient buildings and sights usually have a strong effect on me. It did, but ever so slight, which proved to lift my spirits and vibration temporarily, but it didn’t last. As we set off on the road driving around the land the feeling of flatness returned. I remained in quiet observation of the place and myself for days with no resistance to either seeking to learn from this experience. It was curious how devoid of emotions I remained, untouched by the land. Later it came to me what that immediate felt sense of the land signature has meant considering a mining history of the place. ‘The gold’ was under the ground and lots of activity is still going on deep below the surface. On top the land is clear of forests, colour and the coastline remains the main place to stir you up, if you love the sea.

I am not a lover of the sea and never had been. This is the only elemental realm I don’t perform magic and feel fairly uninspired. I do love the rocks, however, and I did manage to enjoy communing and sitting on the rocks on our last day when I did feel a touch of gladness.

I was very happy to be back home like never before. I walked in my lush green garden full of spring colours for hours till it got dark and the feeling of joy never left me. I went to bed feeling utterly content being in a place I felt I belonged, back in nature and countryside.

Looking back I learnt some useful information from our trip in terms of my relationship with my husband and I am glad I went down South on his suggestion and allowed myself to listen and observe his vibration when he is on the coast. He loves it and even though I didn’t share his joy I appreciated him enjoying that environment. We are very different and it made me rethink a few things going forward and what was essential to me and what wasn’t. Priceless experience overall.

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That is me sitting on the rock, St Ives, Cornwall

Beauty will save the world

.Reading time less than 1 minute.

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Can you remain unchanged once you lay eyes on a sunset over the ocean
Can you go back to the place of murkey greyness when you witness the storm
Off the shore of wild and beautiful land
Can you not carry with you the spiritual splendour of green mountains leaning over purple lands
Can you live unchanged once you walked barefoot through a fur forest of fragrant giants filled with sounds only comparable to haven’s voice

Raw Pagan

“Beauty will save the world” F. Dostoevsky

 

Past lives reading

.Reading time 4 minutes.

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The mystery of my emotions holds me tight in its grip. It feels like it will drown and overpower me any minute I will run out of air. I am walking on the edge of an experience bigger than myself. It is present in my lungs and chest in particular and tears break out of me in uncontrollable sobs. It is grief. After years of wondering I am in great need to seek answers to my experience of the land I call spiritual home. So far no explanation offer itself to me and I continue to be tormented by some energy I can’t contain without losing myself.

Past lives is an idea that had been coming into my reality again and again yet I have always dismissed it. I do seem to understand the idea behind it yet I would say I haven’t experienced it, but how would one know, I wonder… Answers are not easily in front of us when we need them and with this, in particular, things that happen to us in our present are hard to explain. Are some of the things that we feel and experience now connected to lives we had lived before? This time I allowed a possibility of it strongly being an experience from my past life or several of them.

I reached out to my trusted Highland Witch I go to at least once a year seeking answers. What she came back with not only touched me deeply, but like nothing else ever did before provided a big relief and a welcome release. As I was reading my story from the past I was thrown into a life of hardship, love, loss, grief and violence. It was dark and felt very real. I could see that young woman with a child unborn inside of her, who had to endure immeasurable pain losing her young husband and being killed herself with the child inside of her. Her blood was spilt on the land itself and never in my spiritual experience had I felt something so strongly. I could smell the air on that murky damp day in the Highlands of Scotland and saw the blood running onto the soft moss and rock beneath my feet. It explains not only the feelings I have been experiencing for years while on the land, but also my responses to trauma and most of all my character. This reading I must say enriched my life and reaffirmed things I have struggled to place into context.

I am to take a specially designed ritual to the land of my sorrow to release the grip of my past and cleanse my soul in order to merge with the land in joy. Everything is finally clear and calm within me just like death was to that young woman. I feel peaceful for the first time in years and getting ready to take that emotional pilgrimage to the place of my calling.

Past lives readings and guidance, or regression, can provide many answers. I see it as one way to access material that needs healing and processing just like many other psycho-spiritual therapeutic techniques. land