Control – earthly and spiritual manifestations

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Control in the earthly realm is a defence and a place of safety for when emotions feel overwhelming and ‘out of control’. If one was to relinquish control (a core belief), one would disappear for not being able to cope with the flood of feelings. Control serves a function and rightly so in some circumstances when psychological struggle is so great there is no other way. However, to describe this state as it would look externally it would appear one-sided, devoid of emotional engagement and deep sadness for not being able to ‘go there’. This can apply to controlling the environment, others, behaviour, events, structures and yourself that often goes hand-in-hand with self-harm. To decide whether to let go of the control and open up fully to life is a difficult and personal decision that involves a long recovery process.

Sometimes when earthly control becomes unmanageable and challenging one might turn to spiritual in order to feel containment. This is spiritual by-pass and manifestation of that arrival into the spiritual realm will look the same. There will be impossible to progress or be in a way that spiritual is due to that emotional disengagement. One would feel resentful and unfulfilled, as spiritual doesn’t do control. It operates differently and is accessible to everyone but depends the road you approach it from.

In the spiritual there is only flow, there is no tangible experience of pain, loss, time and space. It flows and manifests. It is like the wind, not static or contained, therefore, impossible to control however hard we might try. It requires a completely openness emotionally, physically and letting go of thought structures, etc. Difficult right? Yes, but not impossible. If we manage to engage with the fleeting spiritual experience only for a minute that is already something that will never be taken away. It is moments of bliss, complete alignment with something much bigger than us, a sense of utter stillness, sweet-tasting and transparent like air. In that place we can’t work for ourselves or against the other, we have to work with it. It cannot be manipulated.

With questions come in lately about the publishing process and whether self-publishing is better or worse than a traditional route, my answer and recommendation is to look deeper into your relationship with control, your sense of self, your ability to allow for things to happen, your beliefs about how life experience comes into being. As my life is intuitive in every aspect this is something that comes as anything else natural would. My mind, body and emotions operate in a way that it has its own way of arriving at answers. Perhaps, you are similar? The route that you choose is dependent on many variables, but one thing you can look at is yourself. What are you like with control and why? Do you have faith and trust in what is right will be? Do you believe that things happen for a reason and only when all the elements are aligned something comes into fruition? Can you go with the flow? It applies to anything and this process is no exception. Writing is another process that the idea of ‘control’ amidst others can be explored. I truly believe in experience. Once you had an experience you should be able to self-reflect, analyse (if you prefer that word) and make a choice based on your awareness of your experience. So far for me, e.g. I am a traditional publishing type of person for many reasons. It is about pace, not having control is a benefit, freedom to create in the meantime and many more other factors will be clarified as I go along, I am sure. It is what it is right now and never say never, things change and turn, but what you need to know is your inner true, most fundamental make-up with how you are in the world, with others and yourself. Know yourself and you will be able to find answers to anything.

Life purpose redefined

Have you tapped into your life purpose via automatic programming or through the call of your soul? Those are two different things entirely.

It occurred to me the other day that stories that we tell ourselves are very often resonate with us because our minds, although useful, are very skilful at tricking us, convincing us that something is true. It is particularly true when a mind is given power over the heart and how we feel, or we by-pass the heart when making a decision or want to know if something is true for us. This is living a life through old patterns and conditions, I.e. ‘what we should be doing’, spoken in a voice not our own.

There’s a subtle energy that, however, remains waiting to be heard and I tapped into that subtlety lately that as soon as I considered an alternative magnified in its true form. This energy is a stirring of your soul, your inner voice wanting to be heard. This is your soul calling.

The times we are in right now are interesting in a way that these subtle energies I speak of are surfacing again and again, like a message in a dream that repeats. All it wants is to catch our attention so we just might change our view on the truth that we have been living.

I have come to be aware of falling into ‘conditioning’ life purpose rather than a soul purpose. It is now so clear, so what is required is a complete redefining how I serve and be here and now. It doesn’t mean everything needs to be thrown out, no, but a fine-tuning and a change in where the truth comes from (soul centre) needs to come forth. Work with me if you are curious to find out for yourself if your life purpose you desire or living is in alignment with what your soul wants. Work with me

Times we are in right now are pure gold in a way of inviting us to transform, showing us that certain patterns no longer work as we keep on bumping into the same blocks, same stuckness over and over. It is time this cycle expired. One way that works solidly is asking yourself, as a practice, every morning ‘what does my soul want, need and ask for’? Begin the flow of each day from a place of your soul and not a pattern of what ‘should be’ or expected of you. See if messages new and refreshing start coming in and change the way you feel.

I found this process of looking at my life purpose from a different perspective so illuminating and encouraging. I feel grateful for his particular insight that feels like a long way coming. Remember one thing – Soul always includes you in the equation and if you have not been including yourself into the whole life purpose habitually over and over that is one sign you might be falling into a trap of a life purpose expected of you rather than what your soul calls you to do. Big difference between the two.

Happy exploration.

Gut feeling, intuition or a soul call

soul work intuitive readings

Often the three are used interchangeably, but are they the same? I would like to break it down here and believe there are some marked differences between the three.

 A gut feeling

A feeling that something is either right or wrong. There is a sort of ‘tug’ in your solar plexus area, hence a gut feeling. I believe a gut feeling often presents with a tinge of doubt, ‘not quite sure’ signature to it if we really tune into that. A feeling of ‘it might, it could be’. It presents options, so to speak, therefore requiring a degree of discernment and a choice on your behalf. Because it is uncertain in its nature it is easy to ignore when it comes and it comes suddenly, as mind often overrides it due to an element of hesitation. A gut feeling often comes as a forewarning of some sort, an anxiety provoking reaction. I’d say never ignore a ‘no’ in your gut as it is led by fear, the function of which is to keep you safe. Fear here is not the enemy but a protector. It wants to look after you. When it comes as a ‘yes’, stay with it for a bit, do not jump into the vibration impulsively, as if acted upon too quickly can turn benefits into a not so desired outcome.

Intuition

This is of a vibration of deep knowing, often linked to divine inspiration like a flash, clear as a picture, image, colour, direction. ‘Yes, I know and recognise it’. That thing that writers often refer to as a muse or that thing that grabs them and keeps them in a flow. Intuition is definitive, only one thing. It is fixed in the moment.

Another side of intuition is a personal story revelation, a piece of your own destiny, if you like, like part of a series that is exactly right for you to see at a given moment. Intuition assists us in knowing ourselves better. Very timely usually and aligned with what you are asking. Source/universe linked.

Soul call

This usually produces a strong physical reaction. It is linked to a strong emotion like love, grief, sorrow or burning rage, something quite powerful, almost beyond ourselves, but very much part of us. The following reactions are examples: heart jumping out of your chest, breathing slows down or intensifies, can feel like something is dying in you (in a good way), you want to run for that thing that calls you (intense yarning). Soul calling is very impulse driven, animalistic and instinctual in nature hence very much embodied sensation. It is ‘I can’t live without’ type of feeling, an urgency to be more, to feel more, to jump out of the ordinary and join something beyond yourself that will lead you to your true self.

Image source/credit: https://www.deviantart.com/aniemarch/art/Blade-and-Soul-Mystic-forest-428925635

‘Help yourself’ magic

Spring Equinox

There is nothing like spring coming back that invites us more into life. It calls for awakening from stillness and dreaming of dark winter. It pulls a body into a much needed stretch, into a new kind of movement and engagement with the world. It offers that space to hear a new song from within ourselves that had been hibernating and birthing in darkness.

It has been a tough winter for many in 2019 that made us stuck in chaos, confused and stalled, not much movement other than in dreams and other types of realities. The process had been necessary, as everything is always is, and the purpose of the ‘stuckness’ was to explore ourselves from a position of where we are and who we are, what are our realities and do they serve us. It has not been an easy download to understand and integrate, however, relying on intuition and instinct had been useful even those areas halted in space that invited asking help from outside. Sometimes there is nothing wrong with asking for help from outside when we are stuck and this can be particularly useful and necessary for those of us, who is not used to asking for help and instead there for everyone else. This was partly the work of this winter to get to know that pattern again from a perspective that actually it is absolutely ok to ask for that hand that we need to hold on to and it is ok not to lead once in a while. I also realised that when you do ask for help you then are able to help yourself better – an interesting insight, which manifested through some magical workings that also involved asking for help from the elementals. This is something I have not done before necessarily in this way, but, as always based on the intuitive knowing this is what came through.

I asked ‘Help me’ while in nature doing the work and two days later I got it. It came as a voice, a message, an insight that said ‘Help yourself’. It contained the energy of giving back to me the knowing and responsibility for my own healing. We are the best healers for ourselves without a doubt, but that does depend very much on our relationships with ourselves. Doing the ‘self’ work whether it is through a therapeutic relationship, spiritual practice, other activities, all of those together, will put you in touch with yourself like nothing else and that is the most important element to ensure one lives in a way that it ‘whole’, fulfilling and peaceful. Without a doubt the best gift of self work is you integrate back into what you were always meant to be with all your beautiful resources, qualities, unique gifts, resilience and potential intact. In order to get there we often need to ask for help, we need to learn to reach out and relate, connect without fear or judgement. We need to be vulnerable to become truly strong and grounded and we need courage and strength to be vulnerable when it is terrifying.

This spring feels already like a very nourished, turned over soil that is ready to share its bounty and wisdom with us if we are willing to be patient with our newly planted seeds, warm and kind with ourselves, accepting of all that we are, good and bad, twisted and glorious, strong and weak – all of that richness that is the soil of our bodies and the light of our souls. I am excited to see what is to come. It is all new again.

A tool for raising self-awareness

In 2018 I have gone on a journey of tuning into myself, the world around me with nature continuing to be my sacred, supportive and grounding space on a month by month basis and it has been an incredible way of getting to know myself. I have not just been surprised but amazed at various things that I didn’t even know existed.

I took an approach of keeping a journal taking one month at a time, January, February, March, etc. Focusing my awareness of what happens within me at any given moment, things that arise when engaging with people and partaking in events or when being silent or walking in nature. Feelings that come up for me spontaneously and consciously, when in here and now, when asleep, dream observations, etc.

The main aim of the exercise was sharpening my awareness of myself in terms of qualities, strengths, weaker points, triggers, ways of relating, preferences in being, how well-balanced or unbalanced something was within and tuning into needs that were either always met or never met. These are just some examples of this practice.

Here’s a list of qualities I have discovered and zoomed in for each month as I became aware of those energies in me. Just to give you an example and yes, a lot of it surprised me and offered and opportunity for change.

Once we become aware of something we then are offered a choice automatically. We can choose what we do with that newly found information. That’s a beauty of making unconscious conscious. You can go as deep as you wish into what you discover, or observe it simply as it is or both.

January:

I have truly experienced myself as ‘nice’. This might sound strange, but I saw just how divorced I have been from myself in that sense. This time I felt it, really felt it and knew that to be true. I enjoyed that one. Beautiful sensation.

February:

I spent most of the month in a state of light and loving kindness. It was all about love, the pure kind, the transcendent kind. Another beautiful state. I was made aware that I am

able to go to that place a lot easier than I have given myself credit for in the past.

March:

I was able to transform my relationship with the physical pain and learnt to listen to it.

And so it goes… each month there will be a theme or a feeling that would centre around me and ask tor attention and I would journal around what came up. I have had an incredible year and partly that was due to my conscious choosing of being aware at all times and in tune with what arose without trying to fight it or change it. I observed myself and wrote about it.

At the end of the calendar year I was full of lessons and knowing more than I did last year. My experiment in active personal evolving has been very rewarding and highly interesting. I would recommend this self-awareness tool to everyone looking to dive deeper into finding out more about themselves including a much subtler layers of psyche, not just things that might be familiar or obvious. Super fun. Writing as a tool is generally transformative and healing. If you enjoy writing this one won’t disappoint.

This is something I think I will always continue doing in one form or another. It is now January and I find myself in a very different place to where I was this time last year and it grabs my attention and spikes curiosity. I am excited to enter into any new space that opens up in front of me. Remaining in wonder is an essential part of life to me and for as long as awareness, enchantment and tapping into potential is there, life is full of all things interesting.

Happy 2019, everyone!