“Do something different” – 2018 signature

leap of faith to change your life

What seems to be happening this year, of course, as planned always, is more challenges in terms of ‘do things differently from now on’. Its call is deep and it is not messing about. Instead it feels authentic and with a meaningful purpose behind it. The voice of ‘new’ tells me to close my ears to the old, conditioned and ‘the norm’ and look outside of the comfort zone or rather outside of the box we have put ourselves in. Having been in a box for most of our lives makes sense. That’s what everyone had always done and many will continue to do, but what it is about this year that asks us to step up on a different ladder, take a different turn? Just try and see, what have you got to lose, yet we hold on, fear comes over, doubt sets in and we retreat into our shell, which is effectively a self-constructed prison.

The thing is we all know that there is this place within us that now and again calls us to do things differently. It is there nudging us gently, ‘go on, go on’, but we are very good at ignoring that voice, as other voices, e.g. judgement, criticism and doubt are so much louder we are more likely to surrender to those. It is just how things have been created for most of us throughout our lives. At some point we come to a conclusion, or rather convince ourselves, that there is not much point in changing anything, why do it, it is all ok as it is, too much hassle. What it is too much of essentially is fear. We are scared. No one likes what we perceive as failure, how would we recover, oh no, but how do we live without trying and failing, how else would we know what works and what doesn’t? This is not easy and I am right there with you.

This process of un-knowing, un-conditioning, un-becoming seems like, on one hand, an unattainable goal, too hard, potentially filled with pain and disappointment, but, on the other hand, it is exciting, liberating, ‘not giving a damn’ type of brave and all-embracing life just as it is. It is true, essential core living, fully present in life and focused with eyes and heart wide open.

transformation

This is exactly the process I am talking about. Many do take this path and they do fail, but the thing is what we don’t realise is that we have all the potential to get back up again. We’ve all been there, done that, we know we can go through the toughest challenges and survive and all of us have plenty of life examples to support it. It is not a myth, it is real-life experiences that we can draw upon when fear strikes. We can fail again and again, but we would have lived something different, something alive and uncertain and had a chance to shape something into a thing of beauty and confidence. Yes, nothing is easy, but why would we want it to be?

I feel like a young part of me is writing this, the one that had never had a voice and being silent for so long produced internal fire ready to come out. Luckily these days my voice and internal fire are in good balance providing a good foundation for taking a leap into something new and freeing.

Air element has taken over my spring so far, it seems, and I can see why exactly. Whenever we are presented with a challenge or a dilemma one of the defences is to use our head more, fly into the mind and identify with everything it has to say. The mind is not always right, however, and learning to decipher mind messages is a useful thing to learn. It is also important to get to know your mind generally and what it tends to do in various situations. There has been days when I was aware of my mind working overtime it was making me exhausted, but I let it. It had to work things out and not all of it was bad, I must admit, but I had to bring it back into my heart and my body eventually, as we cannot function in the Air, in the mind alone indefinitely. I tried to balance out the mental defence with tapping into the feeling body and align with the Water element and also Fire when I felt some passion was needed to support my ‘good’ thoughts.

The whole thing needs to ground now and this is what I am still working on. I need that Earth and waiting for the moment when I can dig my hands into it again to start planting seeds for real and allowing my whole being to balance out. Waiting for warmth to come in and root me back into the earth. I think that will help greatly. There is still doubt that comes in now and again, but I no longer feel fear. A large part of me is trusting the process and my inner knowing and allowing for the chance to decide and manifest whatever is needed. I know I will be ok whatever happens, as when I hear ‘oh no, you won’t be’, I know this is only my mind talking, which is often supported by what we are conditioned to hear by a society, a family system that is not functioning well or simply fear that is present in the collective on so many levels. It is that prison calling ‘come back, come back’, as it is also scared to be left behind empty and meaningless.

This spring why not start dismantling our prisons brick by brick through engaging with one, two, three new ideas and implementing them, trying them out to see how they feel. Do something different this year. Why wouldn’t we want a different experience, which often is actually more in alignment with our inner calling than we realise. What we are experiencing is a call back home, which is what it is all about. We are called to do that full circle of un-becoming, un-learning and coming back to the way we were born to be.

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Key words and themes

deer spirit animal

Key words, themes and affirmations to align with and do more of in the next cycle, as the Moon begins to wane from its fullness and disperses into the New Year, are:

  • Be Kind, humble, soft and gentle – the MOST important
  • Avoid giving unsolicited advice
  • Hold back on projections and reactions
  • Unplug from social media for extended periods
  • Be present
  • Manage anger when it arises
  • Silence is the best response often
  • Support, not put down
  • Let others be themselves
  • Less harshness, coldness, more softness, a LOT of softness
  • Align with the Water element and your emotional being
  • Less raging Fire and more focus and clarity
  • Bring more magic spell practice into your life
  • Clear spaces around you
  • Speak clearly and with intention
  • Manifest from inside out
  • Make self-care a priority

manifesting

Elemental forward movement and healing for 2018

sacred feminine water element

This one is particularly relevant to women of our times and at this point it is becoming clearer and profoundly important to step into a vibration that is required to bring up the most of our potential. As we heal from inside out the light of consciousness will strengthen to support our own intentions and goals aimed at the whole world and everything around us.

For a long time we have been living in a state of suppressed feminine, shamed, required to be hidden and riddled with shame. Women have not been welcomed in their authentic expression and were expected not to be seen or heard. As a result women had learnt to sign up to a signature of self-hatred, feeling ashamed of their emotions and resent their physical bodies and continuously becoming more and more lost. Well, over the last few years women have been rising stronger and more confident, waking up to their abilities, powers and heart-centred purpose here on Earth.

In elemental terms when feminine is wounded continuously, a complex trauma is created in a female being to the extent that she becomes distorted. What arises in a way of defence and coping as a result is a distorted masculine, which is ruthless, aggressive and brutal in words, open in actions and behaviour devoid of grace, modesty and all softness. Feminine energy becomes frozen or dried up and the flow is interrupted, intuition is banished and is looked upon as weak and useless. Action, power and an overpowering voice of the masculine becomes predominant. Paradoxically this is exactly what had been wanted, women silenced and/or turned into ‘male’ versions. This is an element of Fire, but in its distorted position where passion is used to destroy another, determination is directed towards trampling over everything and everyone to reach goals. It is harsh and burning.

When we think of water (a natural element of the feminine), it is powerful too. It is flexible and adaptable. It fits into any shape and give life to things as it flows into various manifestations of itself. It is soothing, calming and gentle in its natural, healthy position. It is nourishing to the body and soul. It is open to reflection and contemplation and encouraging in creating new ways of being and flowing with the energy that is most natural. This what has been lost, however, more and more women are claiming their Water back and about time.

This coming year the signature and goal is not only physical health of the feminine and learning to love ourselves as we are, learning to honour our flow and shapes and dance in the knowing of our own beauty, the goal is also stepping back into softness and gentle handling of ourselves, others and all life around us. Kindness, intuition, wisdom, silence and deep soulful presence are all qualities women are called to awaken. Every woman possesses the power of Water and it is needed today more than ever before. Water calms Fire, soothes old wounds and encourages healing.

What comes up for me always and recently when I seek to align with the softness of the feminine is an archetype of a deer, a white delicate creature of the woods. It is not a big stag, but a soft female, which is my primary spirit animal. It is also in alignment with my 5th plane self and this is truly sacred to me. Whenever they come to me more often I know what is required and I feel it deep in my sacral and solar plexus chakras the forward movement that is needed for the overall benefit and good in the world.

Be kind, be soft, be silent in a way only a wise feminine knows how. Connect with the eternal power of intuition that resides within us all and rest assured internal light will lead us to a place of peace, joy and overall balance.

Happy Winter Solstice 2017

winter-solstice

Blessings to all this Winter Solstice! Let there be light again.

Gratitude and appreciation for all support for RawPagan blog. Look forward to more sharing and connection in 2018.

Natalia

Holly tree releasing spell

image

This morning a familiar energy called me into the woods. I woke up feeling whole, balanced and knowing I will be doing some restorative magic. After having a heart-felt conversation with a friend the call of the forest increased and armed with a small white candle and my charged palms (my hands buzz before doing a spell) I stepped on a path familiar on my way to the sacred grove.

At a distance very clearly as I approached I saw a face of a maiden (beautiful she was) outlined at the entrance to the woods, which then changed to a crone’s face. It made me smile and I bowed as I always do entering the forest.

I sat on a familiar Holly tree and created a place for my energies to be sent into a simple white candle with dry leaves around it representing release (a word also inscribed on my candle). Holly tree is very of the season and to me it spoke of unconditional love, resilience and protection. I invited all the elements to assist me with this work. Fire to transform, Air to clarify, Earth to neutralise and Water to cleanse. It felt just right as I recalled names of people who are in need of a release from a soul turmoil right now. Two people in particular. As I released the energy from my palms to all four directions I saw and heard the last remaining leaves falling off trees all around me and I saw a deer just a few meters away from me. We looked and acknowledged each other for a few minutes before he walked off. Deer is sacred to me and they symbolise tender heart, purity, divine energy and sensitive nature. I thought of both, my friend and my sister, both in need of reminding of their prime qualities. I asked for peace in the world and a release of all that is no longer in service to us. It is waning moon right now and the right time to let things go.

As the candle was about to burn out I picked up a couple of leaves surrounding the candle circle and burnt them in the flame and once done I collected it all together and buried it under the tree in rich, most soil. It is one my of my favourite spells, which can be adopted depending on what’s needed. It always feels great afterwards.

I exited the grove and the woods with a bow and on my return I engaged with the water element by taking a shower to reinvigorate my energy back.

Sending blessings to everyone!

Summer Solstice 2017

summer solstice

Summer Solstice sizzled away like a hot fire pit and this morning we have fresh air and breeze. It is as if the earth is about to take a deep breath out and join in a dance with the brewing storm. I am up early this morning as I feel the storm coming and I become alive again after a very hot week and the hottest day of the year – Summer Solstice 2017.

I was faced with so many challenges during the week, confronted with the burning Sun, which seemly held no mercy for my discomfort and I moaned and moaned till I could bear it no longer. When Summer Solstice came and the heat reached its highest peak here in the UK my voice was gone and my spirit dimmed to a faint whisper of acknowledgment of my troubles. In that ‘melting’ I began to recognise my powerlessness against what appeared full of people to be a big lesson in love, patience and gratitude. I ended up taking a journey to the city, on a hot train and to my surprise I remained calm and collected with no grinding within my mind or heart. I stepped into a space of surrendering. I recognised it and that inner silence felt soothing. I remained in observation of things around me and within me and communicating gently with nature in its hottest burning state. I felt it smiling inviting all growth into dancing and fires burning all over the globe in honouring the Sun smelt delicious. The song of the Bard enchanted me into trance-like state of love, peace and gratitude.

I felt my relationship with the masculine challenged in the physical and spiritual sense and I knew it needed to be repairs, as ‘heat’, distorted fire within me raptured it. I began consciously cooling down in terms of being ok with what is and being accepting of releasing with the sweat what needed to go. I understood that my voice had a major place in how my discomfort is perceived and its effect of others. I pulled back, withdrawn to reflect on the sound of my voice and the meaning of the words spoken. It is within the balance of expressing your inner most uncomfortable cries within your soul and body and respecting the space where others co-exist. It is always about the balance and both are equally important if we are to be authentic. It is as much you as it is others, no more and no less. As we look within more the outside transforms and as the outsides engages with us we discover things within. Through the ‘voice’ work I offered a hand of reparation to the masculine and embraced its firy nourishment. There is still mistrust, yes, caution and suspicion and subsequent wish to withdraw. I am very aware of that, but what I choose is not only engage with that restraint within me in response to the masculine heat, I am also willing to expose my face to the brightest, hottest heat that seeks my attention.

I feel alive today post-Solstice and very inspired to continue this journey with deep gratitude and love in my heart and seeking engagement more and more with myself and others. Summer teaches connection, relationship to yourself and others. It is a time to be sociable, to acknowledge those links we have with others and recognise our contribution to that collective dance. It is the NOW time, summer, when we look at our achievements and life as a whole ‘warts and all’ and come out proud into a play field of our life with full engagement and appreciation.

 

From wounded to confident – journey continues…

Maiden on Beltane No other month, I find, triggers me into sorrow and anger more than May and I have been coming into awareness why over the last two years. Beltane is always a trigger. I have been working with balancing feminine and masculine for the last few years. Bringing the feminine forth and learning how to be that and balancing the deeply distorted masculine, which lived within for so long, but didn’t work within my ‘female’ soft being. I now connect well to the feminine, strong, soft and vulnerable, wise and compassionate, yet masculine, although missing violent, aggressive and abusive side, is yet to be redefined within me. This is one of the posts that I suspect I am yet to write about the process of connecting with the Divine feminine and masculine.

This year my Maiden appears different. I suspect it happened as a result of me coming into the energy more and way deeper than before. Maiden within has been going through a transformation quietly, but with strong assured energy of knowing what was needed. I realised it has been happening deeply in the under-layers without displaying, like a worker bee or a spider patiently weaving their webs or trees waiting for the blooms to come through winter. My Maiden has a strong work ethic and patience – what a revelation. From a Firy (distorted masculine traits), wounded, screaming deity with a tinge of someone being spoilt to a studious, steady and confident.

Dance to my beat – the Green Man said

She stepped slowly into the circle adjusting her flowing skirts and made her first move

He stood mesmerised by her confident posture and playful glint in her eye

He joined her in a dance of teasing and their clothes gently brushed together

He watched and waited without force or invitation

She grew in confidence with every step she took and walked over to him

Take me into your arms and spin me faster and faster – she said

He obligingly swept her into a sweet embrace and lifted her off the ground  into a joyful spin

Oh how they laughed and held each other in love and sweet union

Oh how they danced all night into the hours of dawn

This is all good and well, all that dancing and the season is all wonderfully joyful, but for the last few years Beltane had been a festival, which triggered me into old wounds of loneliness and betrayal. All energies masculine were seen as negative, abusive and disloyal. I usually spend the day sick in bed and wanting to hide. This year is not that different, as I am not willing to connect to the masculine as, perhaps, expected by the festival.

Well, it sort of crept up on me this year and even though again I am not feeling great within my body, which serves as a reminder of that old pattern, I am also feeling shifts in feminine energies. I spent the last part of 2016 and the beginning of this working on healing the masculine within. It has been a hard road and difficult wounding to transform and I am not there yet, but I know I am on the right track. I feel I have been gently led into Beltane this year. My Maiden feels confident right now and knows exactly what she wants. I also wrote this post about redefining my Beltaine, or rather focusing on other aspects of the festival. I notice how I spell the word differently in my post too HERE 

This month’s insights go even deeper and questions come up in relation to feminine and masculine deities. I struggle to connect with a masculine energy still. It seems to have no voice, substance or even a face or form in my awareness. It is empty at the moment. I begin to think about relationships between Gods and Goddesses, what does that look like? Beltane is about sex, love, marriage and relating yet what I experience is a separation on some level and I really feel it.  I am still unable to see qualities of the Green Man other than his function to connect with the Maiden. I wonder if the Maiden even wants that connection? I suspect she does, but, perhaps, on her terms and more in balance rather than a forced assumed position of what her purpose must be and what expectation of the season is. She’s got to have consent. I wonder what would be should she choose not to marry and get pregnant… what would happen if she rebelled? I suspect it is again about finding a balance, a compromise and not involve extreme ways of going about things.

I suspect this won’t be the last post exploring masculine and feminine and I intend continuing my research and experiences in this area.