I was born with it

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Since I was a child I was aware of this something, a feeling that spoke to me of things that were about to happen. I felt the feelings and watched events unfold. Like an invisible friend it hanged on to me like a familiar dress, a comfort. Sometimes I struggled to carry it or understand its messages yet I was always aware of it being there. Its name was Intuition. 


Later through the traumas of the world and life my friend became subdued and I with it. It remained quiet for longer and I felt lonelier than ever. Loneliness happened to me very early on due to being seen as different, hard to reach, difficult to read, emotional and sensitive and later on too deep or too dark. Loneliness followed me into my adulthood. By that point my Intuition was gagged, tied up and hidden in the darkest place of my psyche by demands of life and the world of adults my heart felt was wrong, but could not change. I became too much, too feeling and my body followed into a black hole of mysterious ailments and I lost my inner voice. Only music revived me temporarily. When I touched the piano keys and lost myself in music I found something else, a place where everything just was being, feeling, flowing. I was not allowed none of that outside of music, outside of myself. 


Many years had passed and I began to feel a rising of something within me. In truth it slammed into my life like a hurricane, like the loudest noise that had been dying to expel its roar for many years. There was fury and confusion but peace followed, a deep knowing kind.  I was being put together again, the way I was when I was a child, but bigger, stronger and with my friend returning to me, wiser.

This time I understood its messages clearly and I vowed never to let go of it again. Intuition became a way of life for me. It was mine and only mine, on my terms, for my own good and restoration of myself, others and the planet. I began to follow it without doubt, hesitation or fear. Intuition was one thing I trusted. I let the magic back in, my own kind, intuitive one and along with nature as my God and inspiration everything changed. I was no longer watching things unfold, but began participating in life in a way of discernment of what’s good and not and so including myself in everything for the first time. I was no longer standing witness to the needs and wants of others; attending from the side lines to everyone’s feelings and recovery. I began to live my life fully and unconditionally and what allowed me to do that was my inner companion, my now fully visible or rather felt friend under the name of Intuition. One true gift of yourself to yourself.


We all possess the gift that is vital to our thriving and protection. Like our body who the intuition is in partnership with, it is always on our side and if we hear the voice, understand its language and learn to follow its advice life becomes a different way of engagement. It is a way to finding joy, strengthening boundaries, avoiding pointless mistakes and honouring our feelings at all times. Feelings are another ally of intuition. 

My book Pagan Portals Intuitive Magic Practice explores the subject of intuition and how with its integration and help one can create a magical practice unique to you. It is about reclaiming and restoration of your inner voice. The message aims to be inspiring, empowering and the book provide real-life examples and practical steps towards using intuition as you craft your spells and include magic in your life. If you remain curious and enchanted, it can be a life-changing first step. The book offers self-affirming concepts and principles that will connect you back to yourself.

If you ever wondered about that inner knowing that dwells within you; a powerful navigation system you know you were born with, but forgot how to use it or ignored its value due to life’s conditioning, now IS the time to rediscover that value again and go back to being guided by your own inner wisdom.

Nature is all there is…

Nature is the original intelligence, life-force, evolution and transformative realm that just is. I like working with nature as the most primary source of all intelligence grounded in the body, clarity of thinking and depth of feeling. Most of all it doesn’t seek to enslave, manipulate or control. It is of free will and choice and in not wanting anything from you essentially encourages sovereignty and that is priceless. It demonstrates and shows how things can unfold naturally when one is allowed to be and grow in a way one chooses. I admire all things nature for that.

Another aspect is simplicity and inclusive sense of all belonging together and working together. It doesn’t try to be something it is not and has no concern for whether you are for it or against. To me it is the most perfect example of how to live. It is all consciousness and it doesn’t have labels. It has clear, purposeful, intentional cycles of life and death. In its inclusiveness it is perfection.


As an elemental and intuitive witch and all around nature-based spiritual practitioner, I have learnt from nature starting from the ground up with studying the nature elements and the qualities of each, which like a mirror reflected back to me what my qualities are; those that are weaker and those that are distorted and where I am most balanced. It taught me that listening to your own elemental self will never lead us astray. It just wouldn’t make sense for that not to be true.

Another thing that I can’t live without and is like breathing to me is beauty and where else one can experience things more beautiful than in nature. My belief has been for a long time that beauty will save the world. In nature it is not all butterflies and flowers, however, it is about survival and predation, violence and death yet even in those manifestations there’s immense beauty. One only has to experience a storm and the devastation it can cause or get in contact with the poisonous and dangerous species yet so stunning. I don’t believe it is always a disguise I believe it is meant to be beautiful in all forms. We only have to see it for what it is and not for what it is not depending on what our mind would tell us is good for us or our needs. Beauty is everywhere and it only takes one moment of immersion into something beautiful, however minute, allows a possibility of being pulled back into our own beauty, because we are one with that in our combined elemental nature. Nature brings enchantment back into our hearts and that enchantment can bring such changes to how we live.


Many treat nature as God and it is easy to see why and it is not wrong, but what I most appreciate is that it doesn’t see itself as either above or below. It just is, being, flowing and morphing from one manifestation to another without any concern for an external human or any other influence. It doesn’t have that need or awareness of that being necessary. It is sovereign and it encourages us all to be. It calls for us to get in touch with our souls and return to self, to the original.


To understand what I mean one only has to connect to something nature-based, anything of what you consider nature and in time a sight develops, things become clear, parallels are drawn and lessons learnt. There’s no greater teacher than our natural world and it will remain my religion, solace, happiness and peace.

Strawberry tree

A big tree like a mighty oak, one with a wide, embracing thick canopy, but instead of leaves on branches there hang big red ripe strawberries. They smell strong and juice looks about to burst out of them. I pull branches down and begin to pick the berries off and where I pick more grows in its place. Berries so fragrant and juicy overwhelm my senses and I can’t get enough of their delicious taste. I begin to think of how many people I can share these berries with, as there are so many. There’s plenty for everyone and I want others to taste what I taste. People, who seemingly own the garden where this tree grows watch me with great satisfaction, as this experience is meant to satisfy and delight. That’s the purpose of this bountiful tree and they rejoice in my pleasure of eating these berries that never run out.
A dream to remember that was gifted me on New year’s day!
Let us all hold hope, belief and abundance in our awareness for all the days that we are here. Life is a beautiful gift and we owe it to ourselves to have the most glorious fulfilling experience. Start with yourself always, whatever your goals, and extend it outwards. From within becomes without and the cauldron of your inner space is a sacred space. Remember you are always enough and whole no matter what. Taste that strawberry first, absorb its juice fully and then offer it to the world! With each morning comes another chance of life and if you let it be there’s abundance to be had.

Blessings on your journey.

Author copies have arrived

Excited to announce

Out in 2021

Intuitive Magic Practice

by Moon Books

A guide and companion on an individual journey to true self-empowerment through reclaiming the power of intuition, this book celebrates who are you, utilizes intuition, nature principles and elements and puts YOU and your magical practice at the centre. Aimed at beginners, Pagan Portals – Intuitive Magic Practice is easy to follow and will help you discover techniques, methods and practices you can adapt for your own magical practice.

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Register your interest for a signed/review copy and I will get in touch

 

Beltane through Scottish traditions

I wrote a post on the story behind Beltane yesterday, which posed some questions for consideration. It is no secret that for me Beltane has always been triggering and confusing time and the idea of the celebrations never rang true.

Over the last week I have been receiving flashes of insights, which today led me to this woman and her article. Scotland, of course, is at the centre of it. Why am I not surprised? I am blessed with how the land always points me to the answers I can make sense of and directions for me to take.

Particular symbols that did come up was colour yellow, cuckoo bird. Getting married or engaged in May, in my own country traditions have always been considered bad luck (now this is confirmed here). Amazing similarity. It is not such a jolly time and not as simple as unite in a sexual act and let things bloom. It is a major transition through a portal into summer – an important time for crops, animals, community, etc. It is on par with the importance of Samhain (never had any confusion with that one). It’s linked with luck, money, prosperity, being careful with respect and honour of the season that’s coming (summer) and so much more.

It is about saying good bye for now to the winter deity, which is my matron goddess, who this year is refusing to go. I hear her.

Enjoy reading this article and hope you get something out of it. My view of Beltane is now changed and finally settled in me.

https://cailleachs-herbarium.com/2016/04/la-bealltainn-the-gaelic-end-of-winter-festival/?fbclid=IwAR2OInVCq0j8K2O0zRr0VeJrihcVoljDduKyXaYUO9tVkw25ascX5jdpz-I

New spiritual

Yule log

In the last two months I have found my new ‘spiritual’, ‘other than’ space through writing. I have loved every second of my passion and particularly how it feels when engaged in it. It feels otherworldly and like nothing else. For that I am immensely grateful and feel joyful knowing I can step into that ‘dimension’, yes, it feels like another sphere all together, when I want to. It is not, of course, as simple as just sitting down and write, but I love that complexity, a challenge, which stretches me intellectually, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

As Yule is approaching I can feel my energy shifting into 2020 goal setting, or a visual and sensory plan I like to envisage. I usually go about this by tuning into my energy and how I feel, which is around, rather than purely looking at physical needs and demands of the outside world, so to speak. What I am discovering is that I feel I would like to step more into my Fire energy. Again, this is not unusual for me with the season of winter, but I think I have forgotten how much I missed it having spent a lot of 2019 in a place that explored more soft, sensitive, quiet ‘me’. You see with writing both are required and I love that. In terms of going forward I would like to step into the Fire of my own inner qualities and run joyfully with that. In the last few days I have had a pep talk with myself, got angry with myself (in a good way) and said ‘enough is enough’ in relation to many things in my life. It felt like an existential shift where I have come to more acceptance of belonging to this earthly world, whether I want to or not, and that I don’t always have choices and neither I should have. There is less discussion, introspection and analysis needed for me at this time and more being present in the physical that I need to manifest. Winter is the perfect time for me to do that, as every year my energy escalates, my mind clears and I become very productive and active. I love it.

In terms of my spiritual practice I would like to implement the elements I am referring to above, e.g. creating more of a routine, consistency and commitment to things I need to be doing. Arriving at what that might be will, of course, be done intuitively, as it is my most natural way of discerning things. The rest will be done in a clean, precise, organised manner. At least I would like to try. Many things have sort of disappeared into the background in terms of practice and I would like raise my awareness more and bring things back into practice, but with a new vigour, in a new way.

My plans are a lot about writing in 2020. That includes literary fiction and poetry and non-fiction on subjects related to earth-based spirituality. I feel excited to have a few projects in the pipe-line. My poetry book ‘Soul Land’ is coming out next year and I am extremely touched and passionate about that collection and in awe of how it came about all together. It was meant to be, the only way I can describe it.

My first step on the way to reawakening traditions will be searching for my Yule log and decorating it for the 21st December celebrations. I love Yule and I love darkness, which always feels super nourishing and comforting to my soul and my body adores cold temperatures. I hope you all have a wonderful time celebrating Nature and all her beautiful gifts.

Blessed Yule!

Last night’s vision

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Black creatures flew over the loch at dusk that planted me in watchful anticipation. They had bodies of herons, bat wings and a sense of ravens about them. They swirled beautifully over the water with their sharp-edged wings, circling in perfect harmony and then settled along the shore edge. The sky shone pink and grey and water sparked in approaching darkness. I held my breath waiting for something else to come out of this picturesque scenario. Out of a flock of this bird-like creatures a leader seemed to appear and as it unfolded its elegant, perfectly structured wings it grew in size and I sensed its leadership. It did not feel malevolent or threatening although there was a sense of caution in what was about to come. The creature’s movements were gentle and carefully placed. It was in no rush to reveal its message to me. I felt I had to really listen, but noticed resistance in my body straight away. What part of me was going to defy this creature’s message? Was I crazy? I watched in awe. I could clearly see bright light seeping from under its black feathery cloak. It was well protected and hidden and there was more darkness than light. I felt a stab of sadness remaining mesmerised by this creature’s beauty. It spoke:

“This is not the place for you, not yet, not now. Go towards the light, not darkness and embrace all that your life has to offer. This is not the place, as it drags you into the land’s wounds and you lose yourself. It is not what is meant for you, not at this point. Draw the light from within and move towards it. We are the guardians of the lake and there is darkness that is familiar to us, but it is not for you to dwel in, not yet. See your own light and take the cloak of what sorrows you off your shoulders. Do not come, do not wait, you are not one of us, not yet, may be not ever.”

I suddenly became aware of the amount of light within myself and a huge part just dying to throw itself forward in its rejection. It made sense yet it didn’t. Sadness entered me once more.

The queen bird took her slender body off the shore and into a graceful flight with her flock following in perfect formation over the lake. I didn’t feel relief. I stood bereft watching them fly away still not quite in possession of the insight, resisting it with all I have. This is going to be a continuous struggle and part of me wants it that way. Sad, hopeless, in chains…