Category: dark part of the year

Samhain 2018

.Reading time 4 minutes.

Baba Yaga Samhain

As Samhain is approaching I am afraid less and less. The gap between Air and Earth elements within me lessens. I have been thinking too much lately, unable to land and stand still, but I have learnt over the years that sometimes this is necessary to do if anything for the sake of noticing what tends to happen within and at what times. I needed to hold all possible thoughts in my mind to be able to work things out and yes, it can become tiring and overwhelming, but with applying awareness it is possible to slow the process down. What helps the most in these instances for me when I know some part of this process is necessary, but I can also feel myself being swept away with it, is walking. Walking slowly and mindfully, connecting with the natural world in a physical sense, e.g. touching tree branches and feeling the earth underneath the feet, picking up leaves and pressing them against my face. This time of year always creates a build-up of various energies and can feel ‘too much’. We can become vulnerable and even lost, but throughout it all every time I feel that strong support that only the Goddess can provide. I am familiar with the part of myself that is deeply knowing, trusting and calm. It is the time for re-birth and transformation, quite big metamorphosis. I have been dreaming of a surge in my masculine energy, as well as parts being ‘killed’ off, but the most important vision this year is the one with Baba Yaga holding a huge egg of potential in her hands. She is guarding and protecting it for me while also smirking and laughing wickedly into the cold air of approaching winter and tells me to trust, to rest and be open. She tells me ‘no’ only in a way she can and I understand it well. What she means is to be patient and drop demands for answers, as they won’t come when in a restricted state. It needs to relax to receive. She also reassures as always that we all know what we need. All that is needed is for us to stop trying to get in a way of things flowing naturally.

I feel very exposed at the moment yet allowing and not afraid. Baba Yaga always shows me how inner wisdom can be extracted with some sitting quiet time, perseverance and looking for knowledge within ourselves. She holds all the wisdom of the world yet she would never give it away freely, instead she waits for the one to discover it within themselves. She is not withholding, she is protective and encouraging in a way that makes you want to achieve, know more and pursue whatever feels right at the time.

I feel stronger this year, more in line with the energies of the earth than ever before and allowance of things to flow through is truly the key to a peaceful way of being even in times of challenge.

Blessed Samhain, everyone, and let the next year be prosperous, insightful and fulfilling on all levels.

Advertisements

Descending into darkness with joy

.Reading time 4 minutes.

descend into underworld

The excitement within me rising this Mabon in anticipation of the descent journey that is starting. This part of the year is not going to change for me, I feel, as I adore the darker part of the year and get truly excited about the journey within. I love shorter days and the fact that days do end and we can go to sleep (in more ways than literally) and wake up with new perspectives, tapping into our treasures offered by dreaming and journeying in the dark.

As moaning for the summer is apparent I am happy to put that to rest to move on. There is a clear flowing movement within me that taps into places deeply intuitive, magical, wise and feminine within me. Observation of the decline in nature is beautiful to me, as I am aware of just how much lies within the idea of dying and living, dying and being born again, of the potential that is held safely within nature and all of us. The journey of going within and descending into all the corners, even the darkest ones of our psyche is incredibly exciting and I am fully aligned with the wonder of the gifts that it holds. Only through going down we are able to come up. There is again no light within darkness and that is the nature of things. It is how life is, nature is, weather is, cycles are and embracing the beauty of constant regeneration and transformation will offer a lot of wisdom and insight into how we are in the world, our ways of relating, giving and receiving.

Energy begins to bubble within me at this point in autumn that is nicely contained and deeply nourishing to the soul. My dreams begin to take me places I am yet to visit or had already visited before, reminding me of possibilities of paths one can take spiritually or in the physical reality. Dream world presents richer and fuller with imagery, colours, motifs and themes that tend to repeat themselves. Faces are clear, sensations are felt fully, voices are clear and directional and my steps are steadier and more in line with my purpose than ever. I look forward to going to bed, I notice that more clearly. I like darkness.

I wish you all a blessed descend this quarter and if you never thought about it or felt like attempting it, do it consciously and with no fear. You will not regret what you can potentially discover on the other side and as spring comes again a renewed psyche will propel you into new dimensions and ways of being you never thought possible. It all begins with the darkness and that is why the dark part of the year is so needed and important so when light returns it shines brighter and more conscious than ever in areas that will lead it to the meaningful and purposeful ways of relating, being, thinking and feeling.

Many blessings!

The Element of winter

.Reading time 3 minutes.

water element magic

My way is the Elemental way. I see the world through the five elements and work with them the most in my nature communication, magical weaving and spells and when relating to others. I have a power and a shadow element and the world makes sense to me in a way it is made of the elements all around me.

The season of winter has always been a Fire element season for me, full of creativity, drive, focus, enthusiasm and passion. It has always been a time when my inspiration would be present and my mind clear and full of ideas. I would complete a lot of projects during winter usually. Many writers report the same thing. This year it is different. This time it feels softer, smoother, slower accompanied by quiet, silence and a peaceful retreat into inner spaces.. In dreams I am met with a lot of shadow material and crying physical tears. The season feels closer to the element of Water. As water here doesn’t freeze in winter it is very much present, but in a state of quiet still standing. Perhaps, it depends on where we are at any given point and what our intentions are and currently my preferred state is of slow motion in silence and solitude with no need for many words or interactions. It is a very relaxed state of being with nothing to do and nowhere to go, quite the opposite energy of my usual winters. Water element is in this year’s signature I also feel regardless of what the season is now and yet to come, as we are in the feminine rising energy, but not for the first time. The archetypal flow is quite advanced this time and more powerful than ever. It is very consious and knowing ready to share its wisdom with us all. What would be interesting to explore this year is that contact with water whether we like it or not. Like for many water is my shadow element and a lot of us have grown up with supression of our emotional states (water energy). If we decide to engage with the element purposefully tt will sure take us on a transformational and insightful journey, no doubt about it. There is that opportunity this year in abundance. I am going to embrace it and put some water magic into my practice more. For the moment, stillness and calm are the energies of the month for me and it feels just how it should be.

What’s your element for the season of winter?

The world’s gone mad… even more 2017

.Reading time 5 minutes.

Below is something I wrote back in 2015 around this time of year and what I am observing is that I am beginning to step into the Fire energy around this time of year – Winter for me, unlike for many, is a time of productivity and Fire. It brings up feelings of injustice, crime against what’s good, fight against consumerism and robot-like relating to the front. What I wrote back then I am feeling again today all over my body, acutely present in my awareness and every day interactions and experiences. It feels like an overwhelm of madness of the world and everywhere I look or listen to I am slapped with it and it is not getting any better year by year.

 ———————————————————

Today I literally feel the ‘madness’ of the world like it is sitting in my front room screwed up in pain and desperation. It is potent and it smells bad. There is disintegration that is happening within its consciousness that feels like madness and when madness occurs all boundaries are blurred and that is when it becomes dangerous, out of control. It has no longer anything more to lose, so it is released into its own destruction. I never felt it this strong before and its presence is felt in my body everywhere. I want to cry, I want to run, I want to stay and cry some more. Conflicting, overwhelming emotions running through every cell.

Today I suddenly understand my father’s struggle with the world, his anger and disappointment with the way things are. I understand it through feeling it all over my emotional body.

I feel the Earth barely holding it together. The world is going mad. Separation is a big factor, too much division while everyone trying to make sense of things. There is another way, there is only one way, I feel that can heal. It is LOVE, it has always been love, and nothing is as strong as that. We are all able to feel it, we all know it, but the problem is that many have forgotten understandably so, as love can also die a slow death, bit by bit it can slip away into places unreachable and that is deeply psychological. There is lack of love and there is lack of consciousness. What we need is the will to bring it back to life and for those actively engaging with love daily multiply it as much as possible in whatever way is possible.

There’s a need for a collective ritual of some kind and a big group hug. Start at home. Hold your loved ones tight, let them know how strong your love is and let the vibration spread out there into the world. Tell your child you are blessed by their presence and joy they bring into your life. You are in awe of their beauty and unique nature. You are immensely proud to be in their presence.

Tell your partner that no matter what their sharing of life with you feels like a gift every day. Let them know that feeling as one with them in moments of intense love is the feeling you wish to live in. Tell them how grateful you feel for the lessons you learnt in their company and thank them for making you a better person. Forgive those, who are not able to see through your eyes or hear your voice or see your inner beauty. Let them go with the message of ‘I love you and forgive you’. Sit quietly visualising the light of love spreading through your body and out in to the world.

Love is all we have, love is the only most powerful tool that we need to engage here in order to heal that creature on the sofa in my living room. Only through giving comfort and acknowledgement to it we can release it off its torment.

Many blessings!

Autumn’s breath

.Reading time 2 minutes.

eb420f3c14ce528a3ca9c53b5416a782

Air fills with chilling promise of glorious explosion of moist spider webs in the morning and vibrant colours of the land. Its breath is fresh, slightly biting to the skin, similar to that in early spring, the time my soul also adores. Autumn is an Earth element season for me. It is the time when I feel profoundly grateful for all the bounty and abundance the earth provided us with. Its delicious produce carries a reminiscent flavour of hot summer days, in which fruit, berries and vegetables busked in ripening to their fullest. It reminds me that we sowed and we reaped, we sorted through the waste and abundance and took stock of what we are to carry forward with us into the darker part of the year. I feel autumn is the beginning of an introspection journey, incubation and cooking in the cauldron of psychic material and shadow work. I look forward to darkness, to me it is comforting. Cold air is not just refreshing to my senses it puts me in touch with my body and how freely and much more easily it can breathe with less sun.

I begin to burn oils carrying scents of cinnamon, frankincense and orange. It is woody, smoky and rich scents that take my preference at this time of the year. Candles are lit more frequently and my time at my altar increases, as my enthusiasm for life returns to my soul and body.

Ignite your Fire 

.Reading time 5 minutes.

The current emotional state I find myself in is anything but Firy. It is the Water element that has taken hold in its distorted state manifesting in moodiness, lack of motivation and inability to settle. This is how depressive state begins when focus is almost impossible and apathy sets in. There is no drive, energy or enthusiasm. Fire sparks up now and again, but again in its distorted state in ways of angry outbursts and frustration, dissatisfaction, which is often projected onto the world, weather, other people. Not great way to be and I don’t like it one bit.

Things in the house are literary losing their ‘spark’ and breaking down, particularly electrical things like iron, microwave, heating and boiler. One thing after another. It feels deflating and cold. What is there to do, I ask? The Goddess reassures me she’s around for guidance yet I move away from her unable to listen. My body is devoid of heat and energy and I wonder aimlessly about my days.

Outside it’s raining and mild when it should be winter. I never thought I would feel lethargic for the absence of real winter yet it is snow and cold that I crave so I can settle properly into the season. Instead it’s raining and I find myself yearning for the snowy mountains and freezing winds, sparkling cover on the ground and winter Sun. I try to fly away to lands where winter is present but again unable to project myself very far. Stifling…

Today I decided to drive to the woods away from home to seek some peace and answers. It is raining but I don’t mind as feel the need to be with whatever it is that slows me down. I get out of the car and walk into the forest. It feels pleasing straight away, the smell of wet ground and fresh air surrounds me. In silence I stand and turn to my right to a sight of deer very close by. My spirit is sparked for that moment where we stand and look at each other. I smile and feel gratitude. Things get better as I walk deeper into the forest. I discover Fire in the palm of my right hand, which I hold open and the rain stops. It’s amusing to play with it putting my hand away and taking it out again to show to the forest. I ask for the rain to stop and it does. My hand does the magic. I feel my spirits lifting slightly yet the fire in my hand also slips away eventually. It is calm, no rain and again I see the deer in the bush next to me. I smile. I feel better.

What also comes to me is the fact that I have been focusing on the Water element too much making an error in understanding what’s needed. At first a couple of weeks ago when I became aware of the absence of fire I welcomed water into my days and solidified and intensified my focus on it. I placed water items on my altar and what occurred was the opposite, I went too much into it. I understand it now. Now I know I need to shift things towards the fire intentionally. I need to work on it and make it spark again so changing my altar set up once again to see things shift.

Magic is a work of awareness, attention, focus and really listening. It is also not always about accuracy of messages but an ability to shift with changes in awareness. It is about adapting to what gets presented and reading the messages that one sees, hears or feels.

It is a strange period of time, however I remain open to observations and changes that might come in the next few days. I hope. Staying with myself no matter what and however hard it might be.

Many blessings!

 
  

Transforming with the cycles of nature

.Reading time 5 minutes.

sun

Following the cycles of nature and changing seasons of the year have brought me much awareness of myself, the world around me and how everything can be observed, healed and transformed when one is prepared to ‘stop and stare’ and become one with what is happening at any given moment.

Celebrating festivals of the year has always been at the centre of my nature-based spiritual path. It provided such strong and firm foundation for placing me within the universe and making me feel as one with everyone and everything. It brought me peace. It is the most grounding thing I have ever done. It keeps me in constant observation and analysis of what is essential and what is non-essential, what needs healing and what needs to die. Its focus is always on the balance of things and with the changing temperatures, leaves on trees and colours of the sky one becomes aware of what is out of balance within. It is so clear and so touchingly beautiful when the feeling of yourself as one with nature transforms into an understanding of the deepest psychical workings within myself.

Yesterday, as I was reading a book on Druidry (something I am currently studying) I was struck with something that clicked within. There was a clear moment of something pure, clear and light coming through me. I often get this sensation when something grounds in my awareness and resonates with my soul. This year has been a challenge in every aspect and my seasonal patterns have been reaffirmed to me again, e.g. spring is not a good time for me, filled with emotional pain and rejection, whereas with the coming of autumn all is good again. It is just one example. The biggest pattern that I identified and solidified in my awareness this year is just how much the LIGHT has been missing. I wrote about ‘My light is in the shadow’ HERE.

Well, while reading about Druid philosophy and their strong ties with the Sun and light as opposed to the Moon and darkness, which had been mentioned in several sources I have come across, I realised why Druidry is now presenting itself to me as a chosen path to follow. I need to walk towards the Sun, from within outwards. I am now ready to be in the Light. I am also on a quest to find a Patron God, a masculine deity, which can guide me. I have so far only been working with the feminine deities, although recently I began experiencing for the first time the influence of the male God. On my witchcraft path I have worked and revelled in the darkness, which I strongly resonate with, perhaps, combining it with the lighter brighter Druid Sun workings might bring balance to my practice in an even more profound way. Therefore, my plan is, which I feel a lot of excitement about is to consciously implement and integrate what I have learnt over this year and walk into the next cycle, post Yule and starting with my favourite Imbolc in 2017 focusing on introducing my psyche to the Light and the Sun, learning to love and find joy in it instead of hiding away. One way will be focusing on all those festivals I felt less resonance with previously (it is understandable), like Beltain and Summer Solstice, e.g. and being the ‘summer’. This is truly conscious transformational experience that I now seek for myself and can’t wait to see what transpires. It will be an experiment to see if more balance is actually needed, as it might not be the case at all, which means something else will come forward and allow me to see what is needed. The first step is always becoming aware and the second decide to walk towards something that calls.