Beltane through Scottish traditions

I wrote a post on the story behind Beltane yesterday, which posed some questions for consideration. It is no secret that for me Beltane has always been triggering and confusing time and the idea of the celebrations never rang true.

Over the last week I have been receiving flashes of insights, which today led me to this woman and her article. Scotland, of course, is at the centre of it. Why am I not surprised? I am blessed with how the land always points me to the answers I can make sense of and directions for me to take.

Particular symbols that did come up was colour yellow, cuckoo bird. Getting married or engaged in May, in my own country traditions have always been considered bad luck (now this is confirmed here). Amazing similarity. It is not such a jolly time and not as simple as unite in a sexual act and let things bloom. It is a major transition through a portal into summer – an important time for crops, animals, community, etc. It is on par with the importance of Samhain (never had any confusion with that one). It’s linked with luck, money, prosperity, being careful with respect and honour of the season that’s coming (summer) and so much more.

It is about saying good bye for now to the winter deity, which is my matron goddess, who this year is refusing to go. I hear her.

Enjoy reading this article and hope you get something out of it. My view of Beltane is now changed and finally settled in me.

https://cailleachs-herbarium.com/2016/04/la-bealltainn-the-gaelic-end-of-winter-festival/?fbclid=IwAR2OInVCq0j8K2O0zRr0VeJrihcVoljDduKyXaYUO9tVkw25ascX5jdpz-I

What’s behind Beltane story?

radically different Beltane

What if the Maiden May Queen didn’t want to join the Green Man, get pregnant and give birth? What then? What if the story of Beltane was a different story? Would the earth not continue thriving in its cycles? Does it always require a union? These questions seem important to ask and I was thrown a different image this year of what it might mean in the overall presentation of life, this earthly dimension specifically. It feels important to bring this download into awareness of whoever is going to stumble upon this. Perhaps, you feel the same? Perhaps this Beltane is meant to be radically different? What would it look like in your magical world?

Tradition lies deep within our stories that had been told for millions of years over and over and I hear it sneaking into the earth story too. It is almost like I didn’t see it before, but right now it asks of me to go through its narrative and ask the important questions. Can nature exist and have its magic sovereignty without mixing in the union of the Maiden and the Green man? We all know what happens after, the power of the Sun takes over and one king replaces another, while the Queen is heavily pregnant. Beltane has always been triggering time for me over the years although I have come to a place of peace with the timing and historical manifestation of events, but I wonder what if a different story was attached to this time of year. Did it attach to May for a reason only to let me see later on what really happened collectively through the generations, not just my own, but globally.

There is still an exchange of power, one submitting to another (however willingly and mutual it is portrayed) and one giving birth while the other rules over the planets and the earth while the Maiden/Mother is in its most blooming state. Who has really got the most power here if you look at manifestations of nature?

I hear the critical parent/the punisher/the demon/the judge and the finger-pointer for sin, for heresy and how dare I even consider re-writing the story as old as time itself. This does include all religions whatever orientations. It is exactly the point to bring it out into the light. It can no longer stay where it’s been for so long. We all have to give ourselves permission to ask questions, to find what feels good to us and meet our needs in the cycle of life. Following something without a question is a loss of sovereignty that cuts down the roots of our inner wisdom and knowing.

I first received an inkling of this message in early April this year about this forthcoming Beltane and how there is another way of looking at it or rather why haven’t we until now? The sleep that we have been in and will continue to be in is deep. The joining of the Goddess and the God in a dance of fertility is wonderful and all good, but what if she didn’t want to join him or he didn’t want to join her come to that? The question of complete recognition and acknowledgement of their own sovereignty is paramount here. May be that aspect is laced with assumption from another story that underlines all other stories. She submits and he rules? Sounds quite superficial and made-up now that I say it out loud. Do you hear it? Perhaps, this act of joining needs to be redefined. What are their motivations, perhaps, they share the power, the process of growth, giving and receiving? Perhaps, they caretake the earth together? What I feel the strongest during this time, I suppose, is a possibility of polarization of these masculine and feminine energies and it is not surprising having looked at the history of the union and how it is looked upon by the story of this society. What we need to have in place is a self-reliance and allow ourselves to hear, see and speak a different story should we need to. It is ok not to agree and take charge of your own storytelling. I can’t deny I do feel sad having seen a different picture and heard a different story and realising stories are there often to create an illusion, not just to transmit wisdom. Not all the time clearly. Just think of what collective calls ‘the greatest story ever told’. Do you feel it now? It is during Beltane that any wounding around relationships would come up, but it is also time when we have the best chance to come to terms with what ailed us for so long and redefine a new path into the rest of the year.

Nature will continue with its cycles, which are a constant reminder of transitions and change and we must find comfort in that knowledge that there is always an opportunity to move on, to retell a different story and join the forces or not, whatever feels good to us. That IS ok.

Image: https://www.learnreligions.com/the-legend-of-the-may-queen-2561660

Embrace your pace

A vibe of steady pace manifested on this beautiful and gentle Beltain morning. The air was still and fresh and very present through my body. Something landed in me this morning. How interesting the timing yet so divine. I felt something has arrived finally to say ‘this is it’, ‘the time is now’. It was like a door opened into the light of green and as I dug my hands into fresh soil I felt the heart softening and breathing steady itself.

In the society and through centuries for women it has been all about go go go and do do do, the more tasks the better, the more organised and achieving the more valuable you will be perceived. Such a false human race for time, more jobs and tasks, more activities, etc. No wonder maidens coming out of attachment are exhausted and feeling low in self-worth.

This morning the triple goddess stood strong in her message. Being free and spacious is vital for manifestation of the whole within a being. Slower is not lazy, slower is wiser. It is intuitive, flowing, knowing. Rest and reflection are necessary for manifesting true identity and purpose. I felt it jolt and slot in my body this morning like a piece that’s not always acknowledged or allowed. I have been awareness of my self-created freedom for some years now and consciously been practicing my gratitude for all that it represents, for all that it’s given me. The most sacred thing I always wanted.

Freedom is so desirable and often seen as unachievable and a dream and when it arrives we resist it, putting ourselves in prison, overloading ourselves with more to do to contradict it, as it is not something we are used to. The sadness hovers over it within, as we know we truly desire to be free, but can’t allow it.

It takes a lot of practice to feel completely free and in a slow pace of life. It is the most precious gift, it seems, we all seek and now is the time to say yes to it and recognise as truly ours for the taking.

To Love, Friendship and Unity

Beltain

After two hours of working the plot and communing with the soil I felt compelled to relay the energies of today. It is all very new, fresh and to many it will be unknown, but do go with it, embrace it and lessons will be great.

Beltain 2019 is upon us and today is a portal day, which feels like a new opening, a true shift, a push into a slot previously unoccupied. I could feel it at the back of my head and my fingers this morning and it felt good. It was not explosive or buzzing with noise, but subtle and strong like a regular heart beat one might say. The words that I heard were ‘Love, Friendship and Unity in all things’. The spiritual today does seek peace and surrender to a place softer and brighter. It wants connection and true relating for everything and everyone. Even amidst the world’s darkness, fears and wounds today it felt like there is still an invitation to step into your own ‘new’, take a path you haven’t travelled before. The message also was that whatever one chooses to do it doesn’t even have to be big, small steps remaining curious all the way.

Beltain is traditionally a Fire festival of the two joining together and energies rising to bless a forthcoming bounty of the earth and pray for its gifts yet to come. It is the night of dancing, laughter and dropping inhibitions, things that no longer lit our spark and had gone dull. I felt the element of today, however, was Air. Interesting how things shift without having to explain themselves, something we can all take away as a lesson. Hence my altar naturally did not have any candles on this morning or flowers and only incense representing ‘airing things out’ of a space, life, consciousness, etc. It always makes sense to me. However, what I feel will happen later on this week the effect of this year’s Beltain will grow stronger and that is where Fire element will come in, more towards the weekend. I do plan a Fire celebration with friends and family to show love and embrace good, genuine friendships and allow myself be united with everything that this earthly realm can offer. Most of all unity within is an important aspect. Why do we often fight ourselves, hate on ourselves, blame and criticise ourselves – that has to go, as those are obvious blockers to what is possible. Meet your needs, apply self-compassion daily, rest your mind and soul and nourish your body.

Hope everyone has a beautiful Beltain full of renewal energy.

Many blessings!

Renewed signature of Beltain 2018

fire-3

Beltain this year has been anticipated, which is very in contrast to my usually triggered time associated with the festival. This year everything is newly born, all is different and surrounded and supported by an overarching signature of love and devotion. It has been a truly beautiful energy to immerse in and integrate it as a permanent knowing of what is possible. My usual rejection of the masculine instead turned into curiosity, invitation, some risk taking even and exploration this year.

In my dream the other night multiple memories popped up around various encounters that span throughout my life and I have seen a side of myself, which had long been buried, suppressed, yet this year it is all coming out around this divine timing. I was equally shocked, revived and marvelled at material that jumped out of my unconscious – a wild, fearless, playful, seductive and very relation part of myself stood right in front of me in a kaleidoscope of engagements with the masculine. My sense is now that once again she feels safe in the current union and secure in herself to come out in the open. I also know that the male would very much welcome her in a dance of a deep and passionate connection. She does have passion in buckets.

Love, sex, passion, commitment, tenderness, togetherness, attentive engagement and deeper understanding. Receiving, not rejecting. Compassionate, not cruel. Silently wise, not abusive and loud. Showing and guiding, not expecting. These are vibrations that are present in the current feminine signature of today’s Beltain for me.

In the whole elemental confusion and sorting there is clarify. In recent weeks a lot happened that led me to an even deeper connection to the masculine in my life. I used to say I’d take my soul connection to the land over my commitment to a man. I felt disconnected, resentful, in a place of my wounded Maiden, my scarred May queen. But when the ring I used in ‘a descent to the underworld’ ceremony a few year ago when I ‘married’ the land of my soul, got ruined in water (profound), it felt significant and worth noticing.

When away in Cornwall early last month and not feeling in alignment with the place I also clearly saw my man’s connection to it and it made me re-think both, my commitment to the land of my soul and to him. For the first time in years he came first. I felt and knew it. What I came to realise that letting him be is something unquestionable and all I can do is find another way to say in connection to the land and get that rooted nourishment I crave so often, but not sacrificing what I have in other areas. This lessons had been a long time coming and now it is grounded.

My engagement ring went back on my finger today, before Beltain fires are lit and it now feels right once again. Looking at the ring it is as if seeing it for the first time with a renewed wisdom of its meaning. It has four corners, complete and simple, it signifies my renewed union.

In your Beltain dance of Firy love and passion tonight let things unfold and be. Set yourself and your man free and, perhaps, through releasing and letting things ‘grow and germinate naturally’ a flow of something else will join the river of what is life as it is right now for your both, forever open and inviting to the energies of nature. As above, so below, as within so is out!

Blessed Beltain!

previous years’ posts

My Beltaine darkness

Beltaine 2016 

 

From wounded to confident – journey continues…

Maiden on Beltane No other month, I find, triggers me into sorrow and anger more than May and I have been coming into awareness why over the last two years. Beltane is always a trigger. I have been working with balancing feminine and masculine for the last few years. Bringing the feminine forth and learning how to be that and balancing the deeply distorted masculine, which lived within for so long, but didn’t work within my ‘female’ soft being. I now connect well to the feminine, strong, soft and vulnerable, wise and compassionate, yet masculine, although missing violent, aggressive and abusive side, is yet to be redefined within me. This is one of the posts that I suspect I am yet to write about the process of connecting with the Divine feminine and masculine.

This year my Maiden appears different. I suspect it happened as a result of me coming into the energy more and way deeper than before. Maiden within has been going through a transformation quietly, but with strong assured energy of knowing what was needed. I realised it has been happening deeply in the under-layers without displaying, like a worker bee or a spider patiently weaving their webs or trees waiting for the blooms to come through winter. My Maiden has a strong work ethic and patience – what a revelation. From a Firy (distorted masculine traits), wounded, screaming deity with a tinge of someone being spoilt to a studious, steady and confident.

Dance to my beat – the Green Man said

She stepped slowly into the circle adjusting her flowing skirts and made her first move

He stood mesmerised by her confident posture and playful glint in her eye

He joined her in a dance of teasing and their clothes gently brushed together

He watched and waited without force or invitation

She grew in confidence with every step she took and walked over to him

Take me into your arms and spin me faster and faster – she said

He obligingly swept her into a sweet embrace and lifted her off the ground  into a joyful spin

Oh how they laughed and held each other in love and sweet union

Oh how they danced all night into the hours of dawn

This is all good and well, all that dancing and the season is all wonderfully joyful, but for the last few years Beltane had been a festival, which triggered me into old wounds of loneliness and betrayal. All energies masculine were seen as negative, abusive and disloyal. I usually spend the day sick in bed and wanting to hide. This year is not that different, as I am not willing to connect to the masculine as, perhaps, expected by the festival.

Well, it sort of crept up on me this year and even though again I am not feeling great within my body, which serves as a reminder of that old pattern, I am also feeling shifts in feminine energies. I spent the last part of 2016 and the beginning of this working on healing the masculine within. It has been a hard road and difficult wounding to transform and I am not there yet, but I know I am on the right track. I feel I have been gently led into Beltane this year. My Maiden feels confident right now and knows exactly what she wants. I also wrote this post about redefining my Beltaine, or rather focusing on other aspects of the festival. I notice how I spell the word differently in my post too HERE 

This month’s insights go even deeper and questions come up in relation to feminine and masculine deities. I struggle to connect with a masculine energy still. It seems to have no voice, substance or even a face or form in my awareness. It is empty at the moment. I begin to think about relationships between Gods and Goddesses, what does that look like? Beltane is about sex, love, marriage and relating yet what I experience is a separation on some level and I really feel it.  I am still unable to see qualities of the Green Man other than his function to connect with the Maiden. I wonder if the Maiden even wants that connection? I suspect she does, but, perhaps, on her terms and more in balance rather than a forced assumed position of what her purpose must be and what expectation of the season is. She’s got to have consent. I wonder what would be should she choose not to marry and get pregnant… what would happen if she rebelled? I suspect it is again about finding a balance, a compromise and not involve extreme ways of going about things.

I suspect this won’t be the last post exploring masculine and feminine and I intend continuing my research and experiences in this area.

 

Body knows…

sadness in spring

What is it with spring and physical health problems for me?

They say body knows, holds and experiences. It knows it all. Well, I agree that most of what’s going on is a trigger of one or another emotional issue in me and even though this year I am consciously redefining and healing my spring-related emotional wounds my body still remembers and it aches in the physical.

Spring has always been an intense and challenging season for me, particularly towards the end of spring, around Beltaine. I do wish it was summer, but then, of course, I remind myself how summer triggers me into other emotional areas. It is profound and insightful and never fails to leave me in wonder and curiosity how seasons connect me to my life, emotions, thoughts and my past.

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