Landscapes and emotions

The first thing to do when we are overwhelmed is to recognise and acknowledge it’s there. Stop being brave and seek to suppress or control, just step into the chaos. It can be a scary concept and counterintuitive but what if we tried, as fighting it is futile.

We must admit something or someone overwhelms us in a way we are no longer in control. We are being swallowed whole by this force larger than ourselves.

I experience it with nature more and more and with particular landscapes. It has been a useful realisation as I continue on my journey of relationship with nature. Overwhelm in particular places reflect parts of myself that are extremely wild and raw, out of control, even damaging. Very damaging. Like an untameable beast it awakens ready to devour when I am in contact with places remote, derelict and moody. I always fear I won’t come back from it yet unable to stay away until this time I looked it straight in the face and admitted defeat, so to speak.

If some landscapes evoke that energy within me that don’t feel safe, sustainable or ‘in life’, there has to be other lands that tap into a gentler, softer parts that are also there. This is what I’d like to explore for the rest of this year and next. As we approach the end of the year I can already see a particular signature emerging for the collective to explore. Kindness, gentle way of being, softer voice and touch and compassion towards everything around us.

In terms of elements I am craving more earth, more sustainability, connection, rational, solid and secure. Leaving the fire season behind feels soothing to my body and soul and I realise the tiredness of fight and anxiety the wild beast awakens in me. I almost wish to be covered up, all cosy and warm in the Earth under leaves, amidst twigs and moisture of its body. I will go on a search of places that will help me connect with other sides through the body rather than a spiritual understanding of particular landscapes. I need to go in and down rather than up and outwards. In this exploration I would like to find further deeper connections with seasons and elements and what it all means in the overall relationship I continue to cultivate with nature.

The wise one

What if I took a breath and I was there

With eyes closed transported into the heart of you

Green, solid, luxurious

You talk to me through the veins of my heart

Within the blue of my throat lies the truth of my devotion

Do you feel it?

In every second of my life dance I step into your cauldron of wisdom

Teach me more

I am open to multitude of your lessons seeping like nectar into all corners of my being

To be, to rest, to love and surrender

I want to keep on knowing the treasure that is you

I am home

The wilderness possesses me with its air as fresh and sharp as a blade of grass

My senses entwine with the spirit it holds

Precious, powerful, ancient

I walk the place feeling the roots grabbing at my feet

I need it, oh how I need it

Take me whole, I say,

Swaddle me in mystery and myth so I can become the voice as ancient as eternity

Wilderness feeds me with its elements as vibrant and penetrating as a gaze of a loved one

I surrender to the glory of all it is and become myself at once as a native animal at a distance and wild flowers all around

The wind slaps me in the face and I welcome its magic of removing webs of my unseeing

Immersion in the body of its water engulfs me as the loving and nurturing mother

I am home, fed, alive like never before

Gut feeling, intuition or a soul call

soul work intuitive readings

Often the three are used interchangeably, but are they the same? I would like to break it down here and believe there are some marked differences between the three.

 A gut feeling

A feeling that something is either right or wrong. There is a sort of ‘tug’ in your solar plexus area, hence a gut feeling. I believe a gut feeling often presents with a tinge of doubt, ‘not quite sure’ signature to it if we really tune into that. A feeling of ‘it might, it could be’. It presents options, so to speak, therefore requiring a degree of discernment and a choice on your behalf. Because it is uncertain in its nature it is easy to ignore when it comes and it comes suddenly, as mind often overrides it due to an element of hesitation. A gut feeling often comes as a forewarning of some sort, an anxiety provoking reaction. I’d say never ignore a ‘no’ in your gut as it is led by fear, the function of which is to keep you safe. Fear here is not the enemy but a protector. It wants to look after you. When it comes as a ‘yes’, stay with it for a bit, do not jump into the vibration impulsively, as if acted upon too quickly can turn benefits into a not so desired outcome.

Intuition

This is of a vibration of deep knowing, often linked to divine inspiration like a flash, clear as a picture, image, colour, direction. ‘Yes, I know and recognise it’. That thing that writers often refer to as a muse or that thing that grabs them and keeps them in a flow. Intuition is definitive, only one thing. It is fixed in the moment.

Another side of intuition is a personal story revelation, a piece of your own destiny, if you like, like part of a series that is exactly right for you to see at a given moment. Intuition assists us in knowing ourselves better. Very timely usually and aligned with what you are asking. Source/universe linked.

Soul call

This usually produces a strong physical reaction. It is linked to a strong emotion like love, grief, sorrow or burning rage, something quite powerful, almost beyond ourselves, but very much part of us. The following reactions are examples: heart jumping out of your chest, breathing slows down or intensifies, can feel like something is dying in you (in a good way), you want to run for that thing that calls you (intense yarning). Soul calling is very impulse driven, animalistic and instinctual in nature hence very much embodied sensation. It is ‘I can’t live without’ type of feeling, an urgency to be more, to feel more, to jump out of the ordinary and join something beyond yourself that will lead you to your true self.

Image source/credit: https://www.deviantart.com/aniemarch/art/Blade-and-Soul-Mystic-forest-428925635

Going home

Like a lover long gone it gently teases with its promise of pleasure

Like the first love long dead it stirs the ashes of my shaken heart into yarning

Like a smoke over the hills it entices me home

Like a river it washes off my worldly doings

You never were mine, will you be mine now?

Will you come like an old friend that never forgot?

Like an old wound that still remembers the pain of love

Will you heal with me in embrace eternal and sacred?

Will you die with me always knowing the love we shared?

Will you come home?

Call back the souls

Does the land call souls back? She does.

Or how else she knows and hears more of its beauty

It seeks souls out who crave home like a mother’s breast, those who carry their hearts ready for surrender

All that souls want is belonging, sacred quiet of the land’s womb forever tied together

And in their belonging they praise, admire and serve the spirit of the land as the creator of them all

Glory to the land that souls worship like ships after a battle flocking back home where all is true and peaceful

Does the land call souls home? She does as that’s how things end for us all including her that only lives and breathes when she’s loved completely, till the end

Who would I be?

What would it feel like if I had you? Who would I be amidst your wild beauty?

A beast brave and strong

A delicate flower smelling like heaven

Or myself, just as I was born into the skin of this earth

How would we be together?

Standing close face to face or look upon each other from a distance seeing the brightest stars reflected in one another

In winter’s harshness would I revel in your majesty as much as in the greenness of your summers

Will I pray for the blessing that is you, that is the mighty spirit, the mother and father of my soul that had craved your embrace for all eternity?

Whatever way we might be together it will be glory and authentic knowing that the heart within my chest beats the same beat as your humming earthly core