I live my life dreaming of my life. It is like a mirror that is turned away from my actual self. I could never find words before for what I experience living my life, but now I see how its back is turned to me and I can only watch it from a dream distance, from afar that is beautiful. It’s neither disconnection nor a merging. It is two ends of the same string that never meet, but always observing in proximity of one another. It is neither unreachable nor allowing to meet as if a suspension is what I experience without ever knowing if it is permanent or temporary. Does it hurt? Not always. What does it mean? I hope or rather have faith in the two ends meeting one day and if it is never to be I know there will be a reason.
For now I live my life dreaming of my life or seeing others live it right in front of me. It makes me cry so, it makes my heart move in awkward positions, it twists me on the inside but also awakens something deeply felt inside. That is a sign that it matters, it has meaning, it is yearning to be completed and so for as long as there’s that craving of the soul and I can see the other end I continue in observation of the life that is my life but not yet.