Not taking risks, avoiding what we perceive as ‘risky’ implies that there’s no freedom in our choices only a stagnant, familiar and constrained. Life imprisoned is like constant death anxiety. Surely the more death is feared the more we should embrace life yet we ignore it as if death is not present in life but something of a distant abstract idea, concept that is never to materialise.
Being free in life means being free in death, not afraid of taking a turn unconventional, perhaps, but something that calls us in the moment. Mistake, you say? That’s an instant regret about choosing freedom. That’s beating yourself up about having courage to live in the moment. There are no mistakes only a decision taken in the moment, a choice. How we take that turn is up to us. Will be go for it unconditionally and without attachment to an outcome, or cautiously with a degree of fear in the background. Both are valid to some extent and both are possible.
Fear of life is fear of death. Surrender is a flow with freedom, choices, soul’s callings. It is living in the moment in line with the knowledge that life is fleeting. The end is with us always, at all times, so why not befriend death in a way of not running away from it but bowing to its inevitable power. Freedom means no fear of living or dying. Freedom is living and being in your full power.
I walk through my life experience with eyes wide open. I try to apply awareness to all aspects and most of all my emotions, words, behaviour and interactions. My senses are fully present in the moment of sweet awareness of the sun’s heat, gentleness of rain on my skin, the smell of lilac from May’s purple trees.
Recently I decided not to be afraid anymore and as I asked myself to stop fearing death, I felt I stopped fearing life in that moment. I opened up possibilities of things flowing either in or out of my experience without having a solid idea of what is to manifest. I might not be here tomorrow, so by not stepping outside of my fear I risk the absence of life indefinitely. Fear has a strong grip and it is deeply unpleasant, it is paralyzing and suffocating, but what is life if one can’t breathe or feel free in accepting whatever comes. I am yet to find out what comes out of my letting go, but what I knew instantly is that I felt better for the first time in months and that is worth living for.