The quality of softness is beautifully warm, healing, lightening and transforming. I first heard of it from my parents many years ago in the context of the quality being very positive and admirable particularly in a woman. A girl or a young lady with a quality of softness was approved of and considered pleasant and easy to relate to and live with, however, this can be explained due to the nature of patriarchal society in which ‘soft’ otherwise called timid and agreeable woman was considered exactly what was expected. I often felt saddened as a child and then as a young woman as I was not considered soft. I was criticised for not being soft enough. I, however, always felt soft on the inside, but that’s for another post.
Here I want to look at the quality from a perspective of being soft without abandoning or diminishing any of the other qualities and remaining in balance. What I mean is that with the presence of softness, i.e. Water element quality, robustness and grit of Fire element is not missing or Air quality of intellect is absent.
Softness is a spirit quality, it is pure, it is aethentic and intoxicatingly beautiful. I experience it in a similar way I would sense a soft skin of a young child or the 5th dimansional being in a form of a young Goddess or a delicate bird or a stunning small flower amidst a storm. I can think of many archetypes from different cultures, which carry that quality well.
I have heard references to a ‘softer’ perspective on many occasions since I first came across it as a young woman. When something is presented to us, which feels jarring and hard, be it a person’s manner or a conversation that results in us being hurt, we feel wounded, lost and under threat. I feel it strongly when someone is being unfair or harsh or aggressive in an exchange for whatever reason. Natural reaction mostly for many is to react, scream in pain and project all the pain we feel on to the other. Some circumstances might require that, but what if instead we took a ‘softer’ stance. This can be done in various ways. Firstly one needs to know what the quality of softness feels like to them and what it means. Once that signature is found and integrated one can always access it whenever needed. It can be done with other things like ‘inner peace signature’ or a ‘productive fire energy signature’ to name a few. These are like environments we step into, suits or hats we can choose to wear in any given moment when it’s needed. It is a dance between the elements if you like. We employ certain qualities to balance something out or help us move forward from a certain position.
Today softness signature was the one I decided to choose. I was hurt by a conversation with someone harsh and ego-centric, inflexible and cold. I found myself crambling under yet another attack and felt it was enough. I expressed my hurt and in order to discharge that imbalance within me I called upon ‘softness’ before letting my pain consume me. These days I choose not to. An image of a woman flashed before me as I sat down. She had a delicate face, pure white skin and soft expression in her eyes. This is who I want to embody in that moment. She reminded me of the healing potential of stepping into softness.
I sat with it, let it wash over you. Choosing softness is neutralising and calming and puts you in touch with goodness. Softness when understood and used in the right context is a good quality, it is void of extremes and very grounding. More than that it produces forgiveness and compassion for the other persons. When merging into a softer way of being, not only you can express your hurt and choose not to spill into unnecessary projections you can also open the heart towards another who needs it even more than you do, perhaps, in that moment.
Every time the hurt came back I thought ‘softness’ again and again until I felt my body lightning and my focus returning.