When you feel bad do you judge yourself, does self-hatred come in and grips you, do you think you are being punished and your self-critic begins to scream within? These are thoughts, conditions, reactions that you have learnt to have. When really your feelings are just feelings, they are not thoughts or persecutory voices, they are not behaviours and words you heard or seen mirrored to you in the past that you introjected. What you feel is neither good or bad, you just feel.
Feelings are messangers, pointers, guardians which speak to us. They indicate a direction you should take but often it is an invitation to experience something, nothing more or less. Feelings don’t last, they pass, they lessen and go away but only if we stay with them. We so not project bad or good on to them, we do not judge or seek to run away we simply stay.
I healed through learning to stay with some feelings, which I had labeled as monstrous, bad, threatening in the past. I wanted them out of me as soon as they came in, I despaired in moments of feeling something I thought was going to kill me. I once went within to meet a feeling in my creative imagination, which had a voice, a face, a colour. It was a monstrous dangerous entity as real as you and I and something I had wanted to die for many years. I went to meet it. Yes, I was scared, yes I was resistant but guess what I went there anyway with help of a good therapist who was able to hold whatever was going to come out of my experience.
I saw a magnificent beast, who roared like crazy and was overpowering in every sense of the word, but it held something in its huge and toothy mouth and when I looked closer there was a baby. This monster held a baby in its mouth protective, loving and nurturing. That baby was me and I was content to be looked after by the beast. That image stayed for me and will stay with me forever and I was healed instantly. I never saw my feelings as bad from that point on. There’s always a message, a lesson in something we feel is going to shutter us to pieces. Feelings of anxiety, panic, depression or sadness they are feelings and neither good or bad. They just are and when we drop judgements and conditioned responses to them we switch to being accepting and curious rather than threatened and powerlessness.
I would invite you to think about your feelings and apply the method of allowing holding faith it will pass. Feelings don’t last, they change, transform and go away when we stay with them.