I feel like a delicate defenceless flower or a tree amongst merciless elements. It is exactly like in nature when you see a small tree on top of a cliff hanging on against blustery wind with its delicate branches and trunk screeching and bending and about to snap. I am part of it and at the same time I am separate, as I am not included. I sway in the wind of wanting to stay, join, be brave and loving to exploding into fierce fire and burn it all to ashes. I want to win, I want attention, I want respect. I want to grow into something big, something untouchable and to be scared of and I also want to remain delicate, pure and sensitive.
We all have different sides to ourselves and it is part of our experience here on Earth to be able to untangle, recognise, understand and integrate into a whole all of what we are. It is complex, deep in contradictions and mystery and so necessary for we are all ultimately aim to grow into Peace, into one with the universe and go back home to the place of unconditional love and majesty of the Source.
Struggles prevail the last two months and parts of me come alive I am battling with. What is needed is Shadow work. It is the right and potent time of year for this work of self-reflection and going deep into under-layers of our psyche. They call it going deep down into your psyche and digging up parts, which are wounded, exiled and rejected, parts of you unacceptable to yourself and others. It is incredibly powerful when going into your unconscious you are faced with images that make you jump out of your skin and make you want to scream, cry, twist in pain and burst into flames. I find shadow work is one of the most vital paths to take if one is to discover your own mysteries, worth and even purpose. It is a way of healing through loving your wounds, embracing your darker side and negative qualities. Once the work is done the hope is that nothing is seen as negative, but worthy, deserving of love and attention and wounds then begin to transform into scars decorated with wreaths of flowers and drawings on the canvas of your life.
Love your wound, decorate your scares, sing through your soul and breathe life into every corner of your unconscious. Shine that light on monsters, disfigured forms, defenceless pathetic characters and merciless murderers and persecutors. Shine it hard, do not let yourself shake as you walk into your own ‘hell’, threatening to turn you into dust. Remember, there are other parts of you just as strong as your shadow aspect and once both light and dark meet, they find that attraction and love is mutual, they find that there is one whole holding them together. Apply love to all parts of yourseld at all times and do not be scared to go into that cave of darkness and misery, as what lies within are jewels of explosive and deep understanding of yourself.