Awareness nature walks bring answers to those, who seek…
I am used to going to nature for answers be it talking with trees, commune with the wind or listening to the stream of water. I do magic in nature, meditate upon tree roots and listen, always listen, observe, feel and conscious of everything around me. I call these walks sometimes – walking narratives.
There is always a story that unfolds from start to finish and there is always an answer, a message, a call to do something, always something that comes out of my awareness walking. These usually happen when I am called, i.e. I would feel the call from the woods, a very definite pull, an invitation to come, similar to when you might get a ringing in the ear and often people would refer to that your spirit guides inviting you to join them. Other times I join the woods when I am frustrated, lost, down, confused and need some guidance or specific answers to specific questions.
So, today I set off on my walk feeling neither here or there, experiencing some physical aches and discomfort over the last week, feeling foggy and dizzy in myself and quite down in my emotions. As soon as I set off I felt the Earth very reassuring under my feet. It held me tight and guided every step with confidence. I smiled. I experienced this before and it is a wonderful feeling, as if you are one with the ground and your feet and legs are super strong. I become aware of my muscles, joints and my lower body in particular, like I grow in statue and I start straightening my back immediately and stretching again trees.
I was questioning whether to go to my meditation tree and sit quietly listening for a message to come through or keep on walking. Suddenly my pace picked up and it was clear I needed to keep on going. I felt energetic breathing in deeply lovely autumn air, very refreshing and so fragrant with scents of fallen leaves and the earth. I did turn off the path and went up a bit, came across a feather on the ground, but quickly continued without picking it up. I felt like I was being distracted and wanted to keep on going. I felt the feather smiling back at me, as I walked passed with a knowledge I know what I am going and following my intuition with every step. I stood against a huge trunk of a tree having hugged quite a few of them on the way, breathed in deeply and enjoyed swaying of the branched in the wind. Woods are always so alive and everything is always in synch with everything else. Nothing seems unwanted, rejected, out of place or too hidden or too exposed. It is a mixture, yet everything has its place. There is an order that is followed in nature, an order that makes things flow effortlessly.
Holding on to trees, stretching in and out of them I felt what my body needs is movement – the first answer I was seeking regarding my stagnation period of aches and pains and inflexibility. Walking felt so invigorating and energizing it was clear that I needed to continue. Stretching is another thing I need. Shaking things up by jumping, rolling, dancing, etc. is something else that be benefit me. Got it.
Lately I have become aware of just how toxic some relational ties can become to the point of it penetrating cells in your body and overtaking you emotionally till one can’t breathe, see, hear or understand anything. Part of my walk’s intention was to find out how to LET GO of a specific relationship in a way that will benefit me the best. I was looking for a relief of some stagnant energy, which is stuck within an unhealthy pattern of relating and me unable to break away from it for many reasons.
What came next was a journey of walking through ‘shit’ literally and being tolerant and patient with the experience, which is unpleasant, steady walking with conviction and knowing that there will be an opening, there will be a change that will feel good. I walked towards a bench and sat down. My eyes closed and I fell into a soothing state of in-between thoughts. It felt nice. I thought I would go and visit my spirit guides to see what they had to say and realised it has been a while since the last time I tried. The last time there was no longer any access to their place of residence, yet today access was there again. As I walked to the familiar room I realised how dusty and un-kept it was, it has been a while. I walked into the garden and towards a tree and climbed up in my usual way. I was met with warm light of red, white and then purple, which transformed me into a seaside landscape.
There was a boy standing on the edge of the cliff with the sea stretching out in front of him. He was about 11/12 with a stick on his shoulder, just like in the Fool’s Tarot card. I became curious about this young and hopeful figure contemplating his journey into the unknown when a woman approached him from the side in a long white dress. She looked like his mother. She wrapped a scarf around his neck and sent him on his way. He looked no longer unsure or afraid of what might lie ahead and with a smile of his face he began his journey.
Both of these figures are aspects of me. I am the young boy (my animus, masculine energy), which needs rebuilding. It is in need of starting afresh. I was locked in between a complete absence of masculine and a distorted overpowering masculine previously in my life. I experienced healthy masculine too through deep psychological work and connecting with the Green man and Holly King archetypes. I experiences various sides to them including a warrior archetype, which I particularly enjoy. This young boy represented a new beginning, a new integration of all aspects, perhaps, a new journey into building a healthy relationship with the masculine once and for all. There is more to learn – another message.
The woman archetype is a mother, who showed me how to let go of someone you love, but someone who needs to go for their own good and how he can be trusted to go alone and showing how it will also benefit me in a way of my own growth, as for as long as we are attached, we will struggle to learn individually, we will taint each other’s process with our material. It is time to separate. The boy is a positive male figure. The passage below, which I came across when researching some aspects of my vision, talks of a dream and it is so resonant of what I noted down
‘… indicates a distinct turning point in the dreamer’s struggle for liberation from an idealised father. The boy is the new emerging personal animus who will be in the service of the woman, the rightful place psychologically speaking for a woman’s masculine element.’
As I continued my walk I became aware of my energy rising even higher, I felt stronger, I breathed easier and I had a strong voice within me saying – all will be ok, keep on going. I came across a purple mushroom Amethyst deceiver – striking, delicate with such beautiful colour. I was transfixed in the presence of the spirit within this mushroom on one hand and on another in its majestic colour of spirit. I felt grateful for such a gift of knowing the spirit of the Divine is with me on my path, literally. Following the mushrooms I passed a row of conifers trees, emerald green faded, but the fragrance was so enticingly gorgeous I picked up a branch off the ground to take home with me.
The tree symbolises a period of time when the Kind is born again, masculine comes into life and it is one of my favourite times of the year towards Yule, Winter Solstice. I always burn red candles and create with lots of energy and force of the masculine. This was another reminder of a possibility of that coming back to life again, a healthy masculine, a supportive and guiding force for me to rely upon and a reminder that that force is running through my cells and is available just needs renewing.
I feel wonderfully aware of myself, of my belonging to the Earth and filled with hope yet again. Another day, another transformative awareness walk.