The Demon Lover Archetype redefined


Today, I am inspired to talk about the archetype of the Demon Lover, the dangerous and dark, the one with energy we are warned against and should be avoiding. Yet, the pull is very strong, it is hard to deny its immeasurable power and awe-inspiring strength of sexuality and will. Think of Heathcliffe and Hades, the King of the Underworld. It is easy to explain that instant pull his energies produce within us and being around him seems like one is drowning and falling into the sweet Abyss.

As I sat in my office this morning I suddenly felt his presence and there was urgency to immerse myself into the energy that was rapidly growing inside of me. This is quite unusual for me, so I was aware of something else happening around me, something that entered into my body and felt delicious wanting to fly through all of me. I made love to him with a single candle burning and incense filling the room. This experience released an immense amount of my inner power and got it moving throughout my whole body. Recent emotional block was also smashed through with powerful sobbing. I felt the deeper grief releasing in me and recognised the connection between grief and sex and how it can work.

I saw The Lover God archetype clearly, I felt him strongly. The colours of black, green and white were present and he was both strong and sensitive, powerful and vulnerable, not what one would expect from The Demon Lover. Did I encounter something that can be redefined into an archetype that might aid our growth rather than us surrendering our power without the second thought? The Lover God I encountered is so much more than possessing the power of sexuality. He is a messenger, a carrier of the Divine energy, a sensitive supporter and a strong guardian. He teaches us through manifestation of sexual energy within us. He is someone of the sacred nature that needs to come in and ‘make love to you’ in a way that does justice to all the qualities of the spirit. He is an aider of your needs and desires. He shows us not only that we are deserving , but also that it is a natural way to express the source energy into your body and into the Universe through sexual awareness and participation. He is like an angel of the divine force sent to guide you along the way often disguised as someone very attractive, rugged and ‘dark’ looking, as his sexual power and charm are his primary attributes. His work is through seduction and sex.


Was I given an opportunity to redefine the myth and the common view of the dark and dangerous archetype? Through my encounter with him today and my general life experience I would say it is possible if the darkness gets mixed up with some warmth, strength, authenticity and goodness. If we are inviting and open to receive his teachings, it doesn’t have to be all-consuming, yet, the power can not be denied. Again, the energy has to have both sides to be completely accepted by me and yes, it might be darker one times and lighter another. One of the primary purposes of the energy is to show, help and remind whatever qualities are needed in me to come through at a given moment I believe he is there to mirror them back to me and my job is to read the signs and introject what is needed in order to function well sexually and embracing my own power of sexuality. Another purpose of these encounters is to release emotional blockages in the body, some unexpressed pain, grief, tears whatever it might be, he is there to do just that.

Things often can become one-dimensional at times of struggle or pain, we tend to go one way or another, yet what is needed is 100% authentic presence with our emotions whatever they are, no escaping, no hiding behind ‘higher’ or ‘lower’, darker or lighter. Mix it up as much as possible and immerse yourself into the vibrancy of contradiction within the soul, the richness of the character and the myriad of qualities that are available within us all.

To give example of the tradition archetype of the Demon Lover – Hades and Heathcliffe. You can totally understand the energy they radiate, the power of their will and sexuality. They are awe-inspiring creatures, whose gaze penetrates the skin with delicious slicing all over. It is easy to surrender to that and often impossible to resist, yet, what we try to do here is to turn it around in a way that we are presented to them as equally powerful creatures and they become attracted to us in an equal way of respecting our power and boundaries. We can then both surrender to one another on equal terms and if our power is weak or waning at any given time, this new archetypes’s job is not to possess, trick and devour us with no remorse or sensitivity, but to let us know what and who we are and inject that power back into us, so we can be revived into our sexuality and emotional wisdom once again.

The energy of Hades is potent at this time of year, as he prepares to take his Persephone back into the Underworld making the Earth sleep in darkness and cold until spring. It is the end of another cycle, another season. As we know Persephone accepted her existence of ‘half light’ and ‘half dark’, which sounds like a balancing flow to me. Hades also could not have avoided her influence of the light through allowing her to be present in the light. He loves her, just like Heathcliffe loved Cathy. Both Hades and Persephone touched each other in ways they needed to be touched. Some might say such union was destined. Persephone stepped into her role as a radiant and striking Queen of the Dead helping to guide those who might have lost their way and enjoying her role as Hades’ wife and Hades became a loving husband, who would miss his wife very much for half of the year and recognise the importance of her role as a daughter. To me it is a balance of darkness and light, hope and despair, love and hate, warmth and coldness, sensitivity and cruelty – the ultimate mixture of the qualities and emotions potentially reminding us of our wholeness in nature, our influence on the Earth as powerful carriers of contradictions with a strong presence of the Divine within us all.



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