This morning circumstances seemed to be in sync with my overall and multilayered resistance, yet, and I must say to my surprise, not only I had time to fill up my car with petrol on the way, go through a stretch of a busy motorway, get the train with no delay I actually arrived early to my appointment. It really was a moment of me standing still outside the building taking it all in and thinking, right, this feels good, the energy is light, the place looks lovely and I am here on time – what happened to that morning rush and the feeling of ‘ ahhhhh, I just want to go home and shut the door on the world’.
Attachment to a certain outcome (me thinking I wasn’t going to make it anyway and I hate going to the city) automatically cancels out all other possibilities and it is ‘fear and anxiety driven’ not ‘love towards yourself’ driven. It is like one has to be prepared to lose going into a competition otherwise experience is not fully explored within you, felt fully and authentically and accepting that whatever is meant to manifest will manifest, but we move towards allowing for possibilities to come in, a possibility to feel different, choosing to feel differently about something you might not want to give an option to. There is a pattern in my process to this and it really stood out this morning how I would want to shut down certain events, experiences, as it feels I simply can’t bear it, but when I turn that around and open my heart wider I always see the benefit. Big lessons, ha.
I also noticed that yes, there’s always something that can potentially spoil the experience, like e.g. men swearing loudly at the station, which was quite overwhelming, but instead of dismissing the whole of the experience before and after the ‘spoiler’ why not see it as a contrast to that peaceful vibe you enjoyed earlier. We notice, we accept it exists and we do not get angry, dismissive or as an empath would do – run away from it instantly. Gratitude stems from inner peace and vice versa. Was I grateful for catching the train on time or finding the place with no problem – yes I was. But what I was also grateful for is a realisation that an experience doesn’t have to be bad just because there is a degree of resistance within you. There’s no need to label things in a certain way just because they don’t naturally vibe. Allowing for all experiences to come in, welcoming new vibrations is a better way of allowing balance, perhaps…
Balance came to mind strongly and just like the elements where the earth might need water to feed some moisture and life into her and water might need earth be feel
contained, fire needing water to avoid the rage of out of control destruction and air needing earth for grounding and manifesting, perhaps, us, empathic people need to allow for more balance, to step into experiences that once seemed frightening, but no longer restricting our shining. It is a process and a journey of healing that might facilitate the shift and expansion and one can do this once they feel ready. We need a balance, a spectrum of experiences and emotions that go through us just to let us know what we are and how we operate, a reminder, and sometimes something we fear carries lessons and is not as bad as one might first imagine. It might serve as a tester, a reminder of just what our triggers are and are triggers remain the same or they shift or reduce in number over time with healing taking place.
It was drizzling with rain in London, as if keeping emotions light and in check like a protective veil over the Universe. I like rain and I think it added something to the feeling of safe cosiness – another big felt sense experience.
I met the eyes of a few people today and it did surprise me. What did I not see before that made me feel quite warm inside? We are one whole, one nature of experiencing feelings, witnessing and performing actions and thinking thoughts. I experienced inter-connectedness all around me and rather than feeling ‘lost, unbalanced in the crowd’, I felt as one with the crowd and it is a totally different vibration I am used to, which is also awesome. Joining in with the crowd and not running into secluded space straight away is certainly an interesting experience for an empath and once you are ready I recommend trying it out, just see how you feel and what insights you get into the idea of expanding your energy out into the world with the purpose of connecting.
Possibly for the first time today I didn’t feel drained and wanting to run into my woods for comfort and safety, instead I feel quite happy and invigorated. Who would have thought…