Beltane – dancing in the shadows

Shadow work at Beltane

Shadow work at Beltane

Today, despite making a few plans to celebrate Beltane, I am in bed, in a bit of pain with hot/cold vibrations running through my body. Not good, you might think, but I decide to delve further into why I am NOT feeling as well on this beautiful Fire festival, which opens the door to summer.

What I am drawn to in the last few days and today is Celtic music and songs about Beltane and the God and the Goddess. I feel a lot of energies stirring in my solar plexus and sacral chakra too. The feeling is heavy and pulling down and there are pins and needles coming and going. It is very strong and I think to myself, ok, what does this represent today in particular. I get an image of an opening of some kind, of something ancient, which spent a long time in the darkness, seeking some light and warmth. It is stuck, it is yearning for the Sun, for the loving embrace of the Goddess. It is shadowy needing to be integrating. I think to myself, why today. Well, historically I have never been a spring person, or rather I always had difficulties and challenges come out for me during spring time. I always used to say that spring is my favourite time of year, but I now realise that it was simply a projection of my desire for that to be true. It was the norm to feel rejoiced and rejuvenated and alive again, which, of course, I love during spring, yet something in me had never aligned fully with the season. It is shadowy for me, i.e. things get triggered at spring seeking my acceptance, understanding and integration.

This year I am very conscious of every single Sabbath and the wheel turning point of the year more than I had ever been before. It set my intention in January to follow everything that was there to show up for me regardless of its nature and learn as much as possible about myself through my experiences with each Sabbath. I began to feel the ‘tight’ feeling around the beginning of March, coming up to the Spring Equinox, which seemed to have released itself, yet with days getting longer and the Sun shining brighter, this ‘tightening’ is at its strongest today, on Beltane, and it is no surprise to me and this is deeply valuable and inspiring to me.

I am in pain, yet I am grateful to the ancient wisdom that lies within nature. I am in complete and utter love with everything that is Earth, The Goddess, The God, Shadow work and the sacredness of the union of all into a whole. Our purpose is to bring as much out into the light and integrate into the whole of our being. No judgement, abandonment, denial or rejection, just compassion and recognition. I am fully embracing my Earthly experience with all its glorious gifts, stunningly beautiful manifestations and tough lessons.

Let the God and the Goddess be blessed on this beautiful day of celebrating fertility, passion, Fire, abundance and joy and be joined in the sacred dance together at dawn of summer.

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