Blessed Ostara 2015!
I am currently feeling like jelly, floating through the air of uncertainty and peace. It is a pleasant experience of letting go, releasing and embracing whatever comes.
The night before Solar eclipse, New Moon and Spring Equinox was intense, I tell you. I felt my body constricted in tight awareness of feeling super uncomfortable, rigid and just wanting to shrink somewhat. I found myself sitting in one spot all night and being aware of my old emotional compulsive patterns appearing, e.g. ‘eating myself out of the emotional discomfort’. I didn’t, of course, not these days, yet the feeling was there, familiar, nagging, aching in every cell of my body. I felt my eyes tight and my teeth clenched. Super intense.
I got woken up by a bird song and there was a moment of ‘ahhhhh’, so so lovely till I opened my eyes fully and became aware of this intense headache, which stopped me in my tracks. However, instead of going ‘oh no…’ I didn’t allow any such thoughts come into me, which then didn’t allow any obstructive feelings to come in and it passed. I got up happy, singing and lighter in the body despite the headache, which I mentally ‘whooshed’ away knowing it will go. I allowed it to be without trying to do anything with it and it did go.
Just before the Solar Eclipse that clenching feeling returned and the headache returned in huge intensity, which only lasted for 5 mins. I did notice it, I was aware of my body passing through a gate, a portal, an arch of some sort and again I surrendered, allowed and flowed with it.
As a result of this transition, which I am currently feeling settling nicely in me, I am able to write freely, to think, smile, sing and dance, which is what I am dedicating my morning to. My heart is bursting with joy and I am in love with today and now.
Here is a picture of my Ostara altar. I AM in Love with the Goddess and myself!