After a period of stillness and retreat the idea of serialising fiction was presented to me and I might just do it. Keeps me writing and revising further for sheer pleasure of involvement with words, emotions and settings, as well as my readers.
Anyone who knows me and my writing would know I am someone, who listens to those inner nudges when they appear (often at night when I go to sleep). I am all about creativity and experimentation in writing. It is also all about ‘feeling’ into things for me whatever I am called to do.
Interested? You can follow along, express your thoughts and make suggestions. It would be great to be able to interact in this way. The plan is to release an instalment of the novel once a month over a period of time till the end.
A little snippet from the opening:
You were made perfectly to be loved and, surely, I have loved you, in the idea of you, my whole life long.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)
Lights were on in the other bedrooms and big muddy footprints all over the linoleum floor in the hall. Alexei felt cold walking up to the balcony door, which was wide open letting freezing air in. There was a search here. He tried to concentrate, focus on things, but it all blurred around him. He looked over the flat one more time just to see if he could find anything else that might inform him where Lena was. There was blood on the door handle.
As we approach the beginning of the ‘enlightenment period’ that starts at the end of this week and the beginning of next, many things will begin to crystalise. This update is one of those that, I know, had to be shared.
Journaling, as an activity, is getting outdated, expired. It has helped many people for many years, yet now the call is to step out of your mind and process things through your experience and the body instead. It is also a call to locate yourself firmly in the present and live each day ‘moment-by-moment’. What we are doing is not simply being in the present, which can feel confusing and intimidating, but homing in and fine-tuning of what really matters to our well-being in an overall sense and it is only by tuning into the experience and the body each day we can begin to hear what is what. My advice in my practice is also changing from processing via the mind towards processing via the body. Examples of it would be massage, sauna, hiking, stretching or simply lying on the ground or floor.
A lot of things have already expired over the last three years and will continue to do over the next year and beyond. Pay attention to what you feel does not do it for you anymore. For me it is quite a lot of things, but one or two are very clear – journaling/keeping a diary is one such activity. It feels like a clean sweep and a respectful packing away of things, perhaps, for later or forever. I believe once we have gone through this crystalising process, some things might come back into action, but in a very different form and it will feel entirely new; or they might remain as part of our experience, meaning done once and for all.
When something is expiring you might find it will be quite clear, but one sign to pay attention to when becoming aware of this dynamic of ‘things extinguishing’ is picking an activity you used to do all the time and enjoyed doing, however, in the last few months it just doesn’t cross your mind at all and when you do catch yourself thinking about it, you have a feeling of ‘forced’ about it. When you try to do it, an enormous amount of energy and emotional ‘overcome’ is required when previously it was effortless. That is one sign that it has expired if not forever, at least for now.
Journaling is a way to put your thoughts on paper, i.e., process all that is going on in your mind and gain clarity and perspective. We all know how helpful this might be, BUT there is a shadow side to journaling, if you like. One is addiction to the process and second is becoming stuck in the process of ‘thinking’, living via processing your thoughts and leaving everything else behind. Writing, in general, can be one of those activities too, as a lot of time is spent in the deep thinking and detaching from the world as we experience it. There is a type of freeze that happens when a writer is in the process. It is not good or bad, it just is and we are being called to step away from this sort of activity whatever forms it might take for you.
What needs to happen now is for us to becoming ‘alive’ in a new way via the whole experience and particularly through the body and senses. We need to experience, act upon things, as they feel to us, rather than ‘think’ about our life or our experiences in general or thinking what should and shouldn’t be or what one thought was right or not. Another way of looking at it is that we do not think about what we did and didn’t do, but begin to ‘bank’ what we did today or yesterday, meaning we own and feel our experiences and, therefore, integrate it into our whole. This could be small things, as well as big ones. It doesn’t really matter as long as they felt good in that moment or there was some learning in the experience. Take it into your body and keep it; do not go over and over it in your mind, continuing to process for days on end.
We need to focus on what is essential to us right now, not what was or wasn’t in the past (remember, it has expired, integrated). future. This is also important and, I am sure you would have heard of this before, however, this time it is almost paramount to experience and be with yourself in a way we have not done before.
If I continue to be called, like today, to bring these updates forward, I will continue doing it.
Have a good week!